This Beautiful Life
by afinepricklypear
Summary: 3 years after cutting all ties with everyone from the war, WuFei thinks he's happy with his life. Then he gets into a car accident on his way home from the company Christmas party and wakes up to a new one.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story is a little over half written and should be updated regularly on Sundays. It's mostly a lighthearted piece. There might be other fics like it, idk, it's an overused plot but cute, I hope. Main pairing is 2x5, others will be present but subtle. Enjoy!

Summary – 3 years after cutting ties with everyone from the war, WuFei Chang gets into a car accident in his way home from a company Christmas party and wakes up to another life.

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This Beautiful Life

Chapter 1:

WuFei hated Christmas. To be exact, he hated Christmas time. The holiday itself, or the idea behind it in any case, he had no problem with – he could get behind Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men. Overly cheerful carolers, shopping rushes, insane mothers clawing their way through a crowd to get the last of this year's hottest toy left on the shelf - not so much.

Then, of course, there was the matter of the obligatory company Christmas party. As far as WuFei was concerned, it was not only a waste of valuable time that could be spent getting work done, it was also a poor excuse for employees to goof off on company time and act indecently towards one another. And while his boss claimed the party was a voluntary attendance, somehow he'd been strong-armed by the same man right smack dab into the middle of the fray.

So, there stood WuFei. Eggnog in one hand, a half-eaten gingerbread cookie in the other, ruefully watching his coworkers as they holly-ed and jolly-ed around the aluminum Christmas tree set up in the center of the hullabaloo.

The tree was decorated with large shiny bulbs and pewter or glass ornaments and shimmering silver strands of tinsel. At the base, set atop a white blanket made to look like snow, were fake presents wrapped in cheerful paper with bright bows and ribbon. The ceiling was strung with garland and paper snowflakes and there was even a bit of mistletoe tied up above one of the doorframes; which several employees, many who were married and their spouses weren't present, had taken advantage of that night.

Each desk and office door had a stocking hung up with the usual occupants' name fancily written across them. WuFei had opted to not have one hung at his door. He'd merely glowered at the woman offering them days ago until she left in a hurry.

It seemed as though a great deal of alcohol had been passed around the office, either that or they were all high on Christmas spirit. Men were dancing with women, some rather salaciously, Mister Deluth – the boss – was dressed in an oversized red suit and "ho, ho, ho-ing", and Susan Upstreet – Deluth's secretary – was leaning heavily against WuFei, batting her lashes and pressing her ample bosom against him. He was aware of Susan's romantic interest in him and couldn't be any more repulsed. The woman was ten years his senior, had three children, each to different men, and smoked like a chimney.

WuFei had been a soldier, despite his young age, part of a special rogue unit that utilized guerilla tactics to fight the enemy. A Gundam pilot, one of five boys rigorously trained to each operate a highly secretive and singularly unique mobile suit. He'd fought in two wars, most of the time in solidarity. He'd been known for his cold apathy, stubborn strength of will, overpowering sense of personal justice, and finely disciplined body. He was a well-honed creature of destruction and might, and he was quaking under the torture that was the Hinkley&Deluth Company Christmas party.

"Excuse me, I need some fresh air," he finally hissed at the repugnant woman, unlatching her from his arm and swiftly, with practiced ease from his days in the war, disappeared through the crowd.

With a heavy thud, the backdoor shut behind WuFei. Outside, the city was dark and muggy. It had rained earlier in the day, leaving the sky overcast, and the air reeking of wet pavement. It drew from WuFei a weary sigh of relief. Alone, at last. He leaned back against the brick wall, running a hand over his taut features.

"You too?"

WuFei startled, wide eyes sweeping through the back alley. A tall figure slipped from behind the dumpster. It was no one he recognized, but then he couldn't name five people from the company and Hinkley&Deluth employed a couple hundred workers at the main office alone. In any case, the stranger was a man somewhere around WuFei's age, roughly twenty-three. He stood nearly a foot over the petite Chinaman, had unruly chestnut curls, and light colored eyes and was dressed in a large black overcoat. He held a lit cigarette and WuFei wished he had the luxury of such an unhealthy habit to explain his escape to the outdoors.

Not sure how to respond to the young man's greeting, WuFei merely gaped at him.

"The party is just too much," the man went on, "I can't stand these kinds of get-togethers."

"They are somewhat pointless," WuFei found his voice.

"Depends on who you ask," the man muttered, flicking some ash to the ground and taking a long drawl from his cigarette, "Terry and Gina, for instance, probably like the opportunity to be all over each other outside the copier room."

WuFei grunted agreement though he had no clue as to who were Terry and Gina.

"It's just not my idea of Christmas," the man finally sighed, leaning against the wall next to his shorter companion.

Christmas, WuFei thought drearily as he scowled at the ground. He'd never had any idea about Christmas. He'd grown up on the L5 colony, isolated in the dead of space with only his clan. They were all gone now, self-destructed so that he could continue fighting, but they're traditions and memories lived on inside of him. Being an entirely Buddhist community, they had never celebrated the holiday. He knew the history, its pagan roots, association to the birth of Christ, and even its modern day use as a commercial vehicle, but other than a scholarly interest it meant nothing to him.

When WuFei had come to Earth during Operation Meteor and the Mobile Suit Wars, he experienced his first Christmas as a soldier. He recalled, in the heat of battle, a towering evergreen overflowing with shiny red and silver decorations. At the very top was a glistening gold star, at the bottom a fire raged and blood soaked into the snow painting the landscape red.

He recalled thinking at the time how useless decorating a tree was and even remembered feeling anger towards the civilians that had put it up. Had they nothing better to do with themselves while brave men lost their lives?

His second Christmas wasn't much different. The Eve Wars began, and he was a soldier again. The memory stung, for he had also been a traitor, caught up in his own psychological warfare, battling inner demons.

"…my mother burns the turkey every year."

It took WuFei a moment to realize the man was still talking to him. He blinked a few times and cocked his head up at the tall guy.

"Huh?"

The man glanced down, grinning easily, "My mom," he clarified, not seeming to understand that his companion had no clue what he was talking about, "Don't get me wrong, she's a wonderful cook. I think it's become such a tradition though, burning the turkey. Last year we had ham and we joked that she should burn that in memorial. She didn't, thankfully, but I kind of missed the taste of burnt bird, if you know what I mean."

"I have no clue what you mean," WuFei growled, infuriated that this man could prattle on nonsensically and not even notice that his audience was not listening and did not care. The man just peered down at him owlishly.

"Hm? Who will you be spending the holiday break with? Family?"

"I…no," WuFei stammered, glaring at the ground again. The question had caught him by surprise and he felt his face grow hot. The man suddenly looked downcast.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"You have no reason to apologize," WuFei snapped then clearing his throat and straightening, "I have no family."

They were all dead. Every last one of them. Vaguely, he wondered, if they were alive would he be spending the break with them. Hinkley&Deluth granted its employees a generous two-week leave for the holidays. It was one of the many things that made WuFei miss his former employment.

After the Eve Wars, WuFei had gone to work for the elite law enforcement and civilian protection organization known as the Preventers. He'd worked with them for two years before Hinkley&Deluth offered him a career change. The ultimate decision had boiled down to finances. Preventers didn't pay much and he needed to support himself. So he changed jobs and while the work was less satisfying he was able to afford a luxurious life in a large penthouse apartment.

Preventers, however, never took breaks. Officers on duty during holiday time were volunteers, and having nothing better to do, WuFei had always spent Christmas at Preventer Headquarters sipping tea with the commanding officer, Lady Une, waiting for some emergency that would never pop up.

"But I am sorry," the man repeated, his eyes filled with concern and…pity? WuFei sneered at him. Pity was the last thing on earth he needed or wanted.

"I said, you don't need to be," he hissed, "I have no need for family…or friends."

"You need no one?" the man pressed, taken aback, "Aren't you…lonely?"

"Lonely," WuFei spat the word out as though a bad taste in his mouth, "Being alone does not equate to loneliness. I, for one, prefer to be alone."

"I think you're lying," the man said flatly, and WuFei felt fire racing his veins at the audacity of this man to presume he knew anything about WuFei, "I think you're very lonely. I think you do need people. You need them so much it scares you. You can't tell me there's no one you miss. No one you wish was here right now."

Briefly, faces flashed through WuFei's mind. People he knew on the L5 colony; family, classmates, his long dead wife Meilan filled his inner eye, then his fellow Gundam pilots: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, and Quatre Winner. Even Preventers he had worked with: Sally Po, Lucrezia Noin, right down to Lady Une herself. Anger overwhelmed him. He spun to face his companion and though much shorter in height, his burning stare and lithe muscle that moved with calculated grace easily made him the more intimidating of the two.

"Let me tell you something about people," he roared, "They are weak and illogical. They care only for themselves and they're own desires and, in the end, they will only ever leave you behind and leave you disappointed," he stepped back suddenly, narrowing his eyes to slits at the mildly surprised young man and dropping his voice low, "It is none of your business anyway."

WuFei turned abruptly, marching huffily towards the parking lot. He didn't see the sad smile that flitted over his abandoned companion's face.

"As a matter of fact, WuFei Chang," the man muttered under his breath while running fingers through chestnut curls, "It is very much my business."

Practical and efficient had always been a few of WuFei's favorite words but he was also partial to fast and sleek, which explained his cherry red sport car. Behind the wheel, roaring down the road, gave him that same rush as catapulting through space in his precious Gundam suit, long ago destroyed. He slid into the plush leather interior and shivered as the vehicle roared to life. Adrenaline pumped through him and he liked the feel, it calmed his nerves. He jerked his car out of the parking lot and tore down the road at neck breaking speeds.

"Who did that asshole think he was?" WuFei snorted to himself in frustration, "Calling me a liar."

The car ripped around a corner and he fed it a bit more gas, kicking the needle to eighty and egging it towards ninety. Streetlamps were hung with wreaths, colorful lights, and glimmering garlands, it was enough to make him sick.

Christmas time. It had been around Christmas time when WuFei had last seen the other former Gundam pilots. Three years ago. At a Christmas party hosted in the Winner estate. Quatre had invited the other four, and what he'd been thinking WuFei still did not know, but the young man had always been good-natured and at the time WuFei hadn't the heart to turn the invite down. Apparently, none of the other ex-pilots had either for they all showed up.

Never before had WuFei felt more alone than that night standing in a room surrounded by business people, politicians, Winner children, and those young men he'd once fought beside and once betrayed. Then, WuFei had hoped that the invite had been an extended olive branch but as they coldly dismissed him while respectfully acknowledging one another, he knew the harrowing truth.

Quatre may have invited the other three as a kind gesture of friendship, but the invite to WuFei had been nothing more than formality. So he stood watching as Quatre mingled with the crowd, as Heero took refuge by the back wall with a laptop and a clear view of Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian, and as Trowa, somehow, slipped in to perform with the hired orchestra. Every now and then they would stop and exchange words with one another, disregarding WuFei all together.

To say that they all ignored him would be a lie, however, though it would have been better if it had been the case.

Duo Maxwell had stumbled into the party late in the evening red faced and belligerent with plenty to say to WuFei Chang – to each of the former Gundam pilots in fact. Riddled with curses, blind accusations, and hard truths, his words had slurred together into one great mess of bitter retort. Minus the expletive, the only kind thing he said that night was a, "Have a Merry Fucking Christmas", directed at Quatre, as he was forcefully lead from the room of startled guests by an apathetic Heero and a very furious WuFei himself.

The memories were proving too much for the young Chinese man as he pushed his car past the hundred mark on the speedometer. His vision blurred and the last thought he registered was that warm tears were spilling down his cheeks when his car hit an ice patch and spun out of control.

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A/N: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think and I'll more up soon!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay, I got a review! Thank you, kind person!

I'm debating on updating the next chapter in a few days. I know it can be hard to get into a story after only a chapter or two, and with the updates so spread out. I'm almost finished writing this story, but I like to have a good buffer so I can update steadily while I work on the next chapters...otherwise, I stress, panic, and abandon the story. Let me know if you guys would like a second update this week and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 2:

White lights were the first thing WuFei noticed when he peeled his eyes open. His first thought was death. Such a tragic end would be a welcome relief from the pain-filled misery that was his life.

Then blinding white walls, scratchy bed sheets, and rays of sunlight streaming through prison cell sized windows registered in WuFei's peripheral and drew a deep throaty groan from his lips. Sadly, he realized, he wasn't dead. He was in a hospital and, judging by the feathery feeling in his limbs and behind his eyes, heavily drugged.

Like all the other Gundam pilots, he had a natural aversion to hospitals. Waking up in one during the war meant capture, torture, termination, and, worst of all, a failure to complete the mission. It took a moment for him to calm his nerves and remind himself the war was over.

Vaguely, WuFei recalled the car crash, a mad scramble for control before slamming into the thick trunk of a street light, blacking out and nothing more. He wore one of the loose fitted gowns hospitals were famous for and he could feel tightly wound bandages around his midsection, his left leg, and arms. There was a feeling of puffiness on the right side of his lower jaw as well. He wondered how bad a mess he looked as willowy strands of black hair flitted around his face.

He sensed more than heard the incessant beeping of the heart monitor with its burrowing wire connected to his chest and felt his hand up to vehemently rip it away, sending out a scream from the vile little machine. He tugged out the IV drip as well, and various other wires that were attached to miscellaneous machines monitoring unknown vital signs. It wasn't until he started attempting to sit up, however, when the nurse rushed in, worry streaking her soft features. She put a hand on his shoulder to push him back down but it wasn't necessary as black clouded his vision and he sank heavy into the cot once more. When his eyes cleared again, the woman, blonde and petite, was fiddling with the machines, the heart monitor's screeching had stopped.

"It's alright, Mister Chang," she soothed, "You're alright."

Before he could reply however, the door opened again and another woman slipped into the room. A lump caught in WuFei's throat. She was tall and stately with light brown hair and hard blue eyes, and commanded respect simply with her presence. He hadn't seen Sally Po in a year and a half, the day he left the Preventers. The surprise at her being his attending physician was enough to subdue him.

At the sight of the doctor, the nurse excused herself and left the room. In a few strides Sally was at WuFei's side, manually checking vitals.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, pressing two fingers to his wrist, eyes fixed on her watch.

"Fine," he snarled response, squirming as she checked his bandages. She quirked her brow.

"Really?"

"No. Why are you here?" he demanded. She plucked a clipboard from the side of his bed, glanced over it, lifted the paper and skimmed whatever was underneath. She took a pen from her white lab coat pocket and wrote something down.

The closest hospital to the area WuFei crashed was St. Clarence; he most likely would have been taken there. Sally Po worked at Rosenthal, a Preventers clinic, in the city of Danover nearly seventy-five miles away. At least, that's where she'd worked when he last spoke to her.

Sally held up her hand in a 'V' gesture, "How many fingers?"

"Two. You didn't answer my question."

Pocketing the pen, she pulled a slender black object from her pocket and shined light into each of WuFei's eyes. Putting it away, she retrieved her pen and wrote something else down. Finally, she replaced the clipboard at the end of his bed, and sighed.

"Everything seems to be in working order," she said, more to herself than to him. She smiled warmly his direction, "That was a nasty spill you took on your bike, Chang, hit your head on the pavement pretty hard. The past day has been hell."

"Great. Now answer my question. Why are you here?" Even as the words fell out of WuFei's mouth, Sally's sank in.

… _nasty spill on your bike._

Although WuFei knew for a fact he had crashed in a car it didn't change that he hadn't ridden a bike in well over a year.

The employers at Hinkley & Deluth put up with WuFei roaring into the office on a motorcycle, like a "common street punk" as they put it, for a few weeks before politely explaining to him that the company had a professional appearance they wanted to keep and advised him to purchase a more conservative vehicle. Thus, the sports car. As he rarely traveled anywhere but work and was a decidedly practical person, he sold his old motorbike.

WuFei chose to ignore the strange mistake. Late nights in the ER were probably starting to wear on the doctor.

"I work here," Sally responded, a puzzled expression lighting her face.

WuFei scrunched his brow, and then relaxed. It _had_ been a year and half since last they'd spoken. Logically, she left the Preventers and transferred. He didn't doubt the pay at St. Clarence was far heftier.

Still he stated, "I thought you worked at Rosenthal."

"I do," she said slowly, a slight smile doing little to hide her evident concern, "But you know that I volunteer at Harrisburg Medical every week. By the way, you're lucky I was here last night; they wanted to transfer you to Rosenthal. Keeping you here meant no report, which ought to keep Une out of your hair for a few days, give you time to recover and report in on your own time. I figure you owe me one now."

WuFei stared at Sally as though she had two heads. He couldn't recall ever knowing that Sally volunteered at Harrisburg. Furthermore, he couldn't understand how he had come to be at Harrisburg or why they would want to transfer him to Rosenthal when he hadn't even been in the same city as either hospital. He didn't even want to bother wondering what possible reason Une would care about his being in an accident. Sally shifted uncomfortably.

"WuFei…are you sure you're alright?"

"I don't…" he murmured before clearing his throat, and tersely questioning, "Why am I here?"

Sally furrowed her brow, letting her worry show. She calmly explained, "WuFei, you were in an accident…"

"I'm aware of that," WuFei snapped, "But why am I at Harrisburg Medical? Why am I not in St. Clarence?"

"St. Clarence? As in…Saint Josephine Clarence Hospital and Research Laboratory?" Sally cut in with surprise, "St. Clarence is all the way in Bergonia! Why would you be there?"

"Because I live in Bergonia and up until I crashed my car into a light pole I was _in_ Bergonia!"

For a long time, they both stared at one another. Sally's expression was blank; WuFei wore a glare that would send a weaker person cowering in fear. Sally looked away first, running a quivering hand over her face, and closing her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. She stood, walked to a window looking out at the hallway, turned and came back towards him, sitting in the chair beside his bed.

The next hour or so, Sally asked WuFei questions.

She started simple, asking him to state his name, his birth date, where he was born. The questions turned to the war, asking him about his Gundam, to describe his role in various battles and certain details of historical events.

Then she focused on more recent happenings. She asked him the date first and when he answered she looked momentarily stunned but continued without comment.

The more questions she asked the more concerned she looked and the more frustrated WuFei became. He understood that the accident may have resulted in a head injury and that tedious questions like those she was asking would be expected, but the look she wore and the more personal her questions became were wearing thin.

"Where do you work?"

"Hinkley&Deluth."

"How long have you worked there?"

"Almost two years."

"And what do you do there?"

"I work in accounting."

"Where do you live?"

"Grenadier Tower in Bergonia."

Sally paused there, lowered her eyes and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, she asked, "And do you live with anyone there?"

"No. What does this have to do with anything?"

Seeming to steel herself, Sally finally asked, "Tell me about the accident. How did it happen?"

WuFei closed his eyes, tightening his jaw and thinking back. When he answered, his voice was a low growl, "I was driving home from the company Christmas party, and it was _not_ snowing. I'd had a conversation with some prick coworker – don't even know his name or what department he works in – but he had irritated me so I _suppose_ I wasn't paying much attention to the road because I didn't notice the patch of ice. My _car_ slipped and crashed _into a street light_."

"I see," Sally murmured.

WuFei attempted to sit up again but as that only made his head spin, he glared at her as effectively as he could from the cot and snarled, "What is all of this about, Po? I don't see you in almost two years and suddenly you show up in my hospital room telling me I'm not where I'm supposed to be and asking me idiotic questions? What the hell is going on?"

Sally pursed her lips, making them thin and edged white. She had her hands clenched in her lap and she looked to them, her expression forlorn. She was at a loss for words. She stood, walked to the door, paused, hand on doorknob, looking to her patient.

"I'm sorry. I can't answer your questions…yet. I'm going to have to consult with some colleagues," she told him, "In the meantime, try to get some rest and I'll be back soon."

Without waiting for a response she was gone, the door clicking shut behind her. WuFei stared hard at where she had stood before settling into his pillow and glaring at the ceiling.

"What is going on?" he demanded of the empty room. He hadn't realized how tired he was when his eyes slipped shut and he fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I didn't get another chapter up this past week, I got a bit busy with school work...calculus is kicking my ass this semester. No one expressed interest in seeing another chapter sooner anyways, so I don't feel too bad. I keep forgetting to mention, I know this story is a little out of season, in my defense I originally started writing it at Christmas time...ten years ago. Weird to think these first five chapters or so are ten, definitely makes me wonder where time and my life have gone. The other thing is, in case you haven't realized, I made up place names. There is no real city of Bergonia or Danover...I don't remember why I did it, probably because I was feeling lazy at the time, didn't want to research an area to fit into something that was meant to be a quick easy write. The place names are lame, I know, sorry about that. They also aren't important.

Thank you for the review last chapter! This chapter should answer your question. Reviews are always appreciated, they certainly make me feel like I'm uploading for a reason instead of just slipping into slow insanity. But regardless, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 3:

When WuFei awoke, Sally had not returned. Someone came while WuFei slept though, most likely a nurse, and set a tray up with food and a pitcher of water with a small plastic cup. He wasn't certain how long he'd slept, though less light streamed through the window and the little that did was a deep orange.

Carefully, slowly, WuFei pulled himself up into a sitting position, relieved that he didn't immediately slide back down. He dragged the food towards himself and poured some water, surprised to find how parched he was as he gulped it down. He picked at the food, a meat-like product with mashed potatoes and green beans all slathered in brown gravy, and a pudding cup for dessert. To the back of his mind, he thought of how other patients would have visitors; their rooms decorated with flowers and get-well-soon balloons.

 _Aren't you lonely?_ That strange young man had asked.

WuFei snorted softly. Empty sentiments and useless crap. He focused his mind on the question of when he'd go back to work. He hoped this accident didn't deter him from returning at the end of holiday break. A day they'd been off and already he was yearning to bury himself in numbers.

The door flung open and WuFei readied an assault on the good doctor, he had a lot of questions that needed answers, but a soft light weight fell into his lap, a heavier weight tilted down one side of the bed as arms flung about his neck, a warm body pressed firm and snug against him.

"Shit, WuFei," a husky voice piped close to his ear, "I'm so sorry!"

Quickly recovering from the initial shock, WuFei gathered his senses, noting the strong sensuous scent of apple spice and the soft chestnut hair brushing his face. His first thought was the man from the Christmas party, though he couldn't for the life of him think why that guy would be at the hospital hugging him, but then he saw the length of the hair and how it wound into a tight braid.

The body pulled away and WuFei was captured in twin pools of deep cobalt blue and a heart-shaped face laden with worry and relief. His heart gave a pathetically dramatic thud and his face warmed. The length of time that had passed since he'd seen that familiar cherubic face ached through him, the last words that man had spoken to WuFei forever burned in his mind as the greatest confirmation that he deserved to be alone. Yet, here that man was, and WuFei noted curiously that the thing in his lap was a bouquet of crimson roses and baby's breath.

"I'm so sorry for everything! I don't care anymore about our fight. You win. Hell, you win the next ten fights. I mean, shit, babe, if I thought for a second you would go racing your bike through a fucking blizzard I never would have opened my big mouth! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry."

WuFei began a confused and, maybe even harsh, "Maxwe-" but was cut off by Sally's sharp voice at the door.

"Duo."

The braided boy turned, a smile sliding easy over his features as he peered at the doctor with shimmering eyes.

"I need to speak to you outside," Sally said.

The smile faltered but Duo jumped to his feet and followed the doctor into the hallway, calling a, "I'll be right back, babe," over his shoulder to a very bewildered WuFei.

"Sally, I cannot thank you enough," Duo exclaimed before the doctor could say a word, the door shutting behind them. He embraced her warmly; "I know that it's your job, and you've always taken care of him, and that you didn't exactly do it for me, and yadda, yadda, yadda, but still, thank you. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you weren't there…"

"Duo," Sally attempted to break in, but Duo continued unabated.

"I know what you're going to say, there are plenty of capable doctors on staff, but I know you're the best and you can't candy coat things to me. I know he was in bad shape when he came in. He had to have been, crashing his bike like that, and looking at the injuries he's got. I mean…shit…I almost lost him, didn't I?"

"…Duo."

"Look, don't worry about not calling me right away. I'll admit, I was scared and worried and racking my brain as to where he'd be and whether he was okay, and if he was even going to come back to me at all, but I understand why you did it, completely. I'm not mad at you and forgive you entirely. Mostly because he's alive and I don't give a damn about anything else in the whole entire fucking world right now! There are no hard feelings, I promise."

"Duo, there's a problem," Sally snapped impatiently and the boy fell silent, his grin fading.

"What?" he said stupidly, and then his face contorted as he was gripped with sudden fear, "What kind of a problem? Tell me he's not paralyzed. Oh God, he's paralyzed, isn't he? You know how he is, he can't handle something like that! He won't ask me to pass the remote, you think he'd ever be able to drop his prideful act long enough to ask for help using the bathroom?"

"Calm down," Sally soothed, berating herself for sounding so rough, she'd put the younger boy through enough already leaving him wondering about the whereabouts of his lover for the past twenty-four hours or so, "Physically WuFei is fine. A couple broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, sprained hip, swelling in the ankle, lacerations predominantly on his arms and hands, severe bruising, nothing that can't be healed with time and rest. It's a miracle, honestly. I'm going to chalk his survival and lack of permanent damage up to his training as a Gundam pilot and someone upstairs really liking him - or you - and leave it at that."

"So what's the problem?" Duo asked, relaxing.

Sally bit her lower lip, her eyes flickering through the pane of glass at WuFei. He'd set the roses aside and was poking at his food again, glancing every now and then with curiousity at the two outside.

"Have you ever heard of a condition called 'selective memory loss'?" she questioned. Duo furrowed his brow and shook his head slowly. "It's a form of amnesia. Duo, WuFei hit his head pretty hard."

The dots were connecting in Duo's mind and his eyes went wide, "Oh God," he breathed, burying his face in the palm of his hand, then looking at Sally between his fingers, "He doesn't remember _anything_? Who he is? Where he is?"

"No…no. This isn't a full blown case of amnesia," Sally answered, she took a weary breath and went on to explain, "Selective memory loss is when an individual loses small parts of their memory. As far as I can gather, WuFei's memories seem to be intact…up until roughly…about…three years ago."

Duo's shoulders sagged and his face fell. He took a few steadying breaths before saying anything as Sally waited, her eyes light with sympathy. Without realizing, her hand had come to rest on Duo's shoulder.

"Oh…well…great. Three years. That's just…you know…our _entire_ relationship," he mumbled, "Jesus. So wait…what you're saying is that, as far as he can tell, his old comrade-in-arms just breezed in and gave him a bunch of flowers and hugged him for _way_ longer than natural…what he must be thinking right now…"

"Duo, it's going to be alright," Sally told him. His eyes flashed and he pulled from her touch, looking up at her dubiously.

"Alright? _Alright?_ Sally, you just told me the love of my life doesn't _remember_ he's the love of my life! How are things going to be alright?"

"The condition is temporary," she stated calmly, "His memory will return eventually."

"Oh. Eventually," Duo repeated flatly, "And just how long is 'eventually'?"

"I don't know exactly. It varies. His memory could come back by the end of the day, it could come back in a week, there's no way to be certain, but usually it takes a day," Sally answered. She glanced away, "There's one thing that concerns me, but I'm sure it's nothing."

Duo eyed her as though a bomb ready to go off, "What's that?"

Sally looked to be debating with herself. She finally met Duo's eyes and, choosing her words carefully, replied, "He does have…memories…of the past three years. They're just…not accurate."

"What do you mean?" Duo pressed, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Well, for instance, he knows the date without hesitation and most current events. But…he doesn't remember his relationship with you and he says he and I haven't spoken in over a year and a half. And then…he thinks he works for a company…Hinkley&Deluth? That he lives alone in an apartment in Bergonia. Even the motorcycle accident, Duo, he thinks he was driving a car."

Duo's eyebrows shot up to hide in bangs, "What? That doesn't make sense. Hinkley&Deluth…I've heard of them…they tried to headhunt 'Fei a while back but…he loves working for the Preventers. He could never leave…the job is too important to him."

"I know, I remember."

"And apartment? I mean…hell…our last apartment was in Lower Plough in East Danover and we've been to Bergonia _once_ on a mission."

"Yes, I recall..."

"He hated it there. And we don't even own a car…all we have is my truck that he _refuses_ to drive."

"I know, Duo, I know," Sally said, nodding her head as he spoke.

"I don't understand any of this," Duo seethed, looking uncertain at the doctor, "Is this…are false memories part of this selective amnesia thing?"

"I've never heard of it," Sally answered, "But it's possible."

Duo studied his shoes, heavy black work boots splattered with mud, as he mulled things over in his mind. Sally was respectfully silent. It was a lot to take in at once and she imagined it a hard reality to face. When she thought enough time had passed, she broke the quiet.

"I'll talk to him. Explain the situation…his condition."

"No," Duo interrupted, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll do it," he chuckled, though it sounded forced and joked, "Don't know if you remember 'Fei before I broke him in but this is a conversation that's going to take a delicate touch, as well as agility and quick reflexes," he grinned boyishly, perfectly masking the grief, "Oh man, when I tell WuFei that we not only share a house but a bed…shit…he's going to put a gun to my head."

Sally smiled affectionately at the young man, allowing herself a small chortle for his sake.

"I'll get started on some paper work. You'll be able to check him out whenever you're ready. I might not recall pre-relationship WuFei very well but I do recall one thing that has always rang true about the both of you. A strong hate of hospitals," she said before turning and heading down the hall.

Duo smiled after her retreating back, then tipped his head to look warily into the room at WuFei. The dark hard boy was poking at the meat-like thing on his plate with his hospital regulation spork, obviously trying to decide whether to eat it or not, and Duo hesitated before walking in. While he'd made it sound like a great lark, part of him wasn't entirely sure WuFei wouldn't put a gun to his head. Fortunately, one wasn't readily available.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you both for the reviews! Uh...this chapter is a bit short so I might upload again in a couple days to make up for it. There were some changes I wanted to make to the next chapter first though, so it'll mostly depend on where I'm at with homework. Anyhow, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

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Chapter 4

Dark eyes met shimmering blue as Duo took a seat in the chair by the bed. He wasn't certain yet if WuFei had been paying much attention to the conversation he'd had with Dr. Po. Reading lips was never WuFei's specialty but all of the former Gundam pilots had been trained in it. It took Duo a moment to realize WuFei was glaring at him. He hadn't seen that hard look on the other boy's face in years; it made him feel almost nostalgic. Almost.

"So…" Duo started, "How are you feeling?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" WuFei spat and Duo flinched subconsciously.

"I don't know if you've noticed, babe, but you're kind of in a hospital."

"I've noticed, Maxwell. Thank you," WuFei's response was a snarl, his eyes became dangerous slits, "And stop calling me that. And _why_ are _you_ here? Sally is one thing, but you?"

Duo swallowed hard, fighting his natural instinct to respond to WuFei's harsh tone in kind. This is not his fault, Duo reminded himself, he has a bump on his head the size of a golf ball…blame the golf ball bump.

Bracing himself for whatever would come, Duo leaned forward, focusing his eyes on the blanket, and took WuFei's hand in his own, mildly surprised when the othererdf boy didn't immediately yank it away. Cautiously, he began anew, "The thing is, ba...uh...'Fei, you were in an accident."

"I remember…"

"And you lost part of your memory."

Silence.

Duo peeked up at WuFei. The young man was staring at their hands, now intertwined. After a moment, he pulled away; though not near as roughly as Duo anticipated.

"What part exactly?" WuFei challenged, "My memory seems whole to me."

"Well…for starters, the part that explains why I'm here," Duo whispered, picking at a loose thread on the hospital blanket, "Sally says about three years."

"And how would she know? I haven't heard from her in almost that long."

"No," Duo cried, eyes jumping up to meet WuFei's own, livid with undirected rage, "True, workng in different departments, the two of you don't see each other often, but you had lunch with Sally just last week. She acts like your mother most of the time…she wouldn't let three years, let alone three _days_ pass without checking in on you."

"But I don't work with Sally," the bedridden young man protested.

"Yes, you do. Remember. The Preventers?"

"I left the Preventers," WuFei argued, "Nearly a year and a half ago, which was the last time I saw or spoke with Po!"

Duo massaged his forehead, trying to settle his emotions. He'd forgotten how stubborn his lover could be when a puppy-dog pout and magic fingers were no longer bargaining options.

"Think, WuFei," he started roughly, "If you left the Preventers, if you live in Bergonia, if you haven't seen me and Sally in so long…then why are you here and why are we here?"

"I…I don't know."

Again, Duo took WuFei's hand, squeezing it tight between his trembling fingers, "Baby, you took a dive on your bike, messed your head up real good. Po says you've got something called 'selective memory loss', that's when a person loses…"

"I know what it is," WuFei interrupted, and though his tone was harsh, it was barely a whisper.

"Of course _you_ do," Duo chuckled, it sounded sad, "Anyway, you're missing three years about, and as far as I'm concerned, they're the most important three years of your life. Our life. You see, the reason I'm here is because…well…I care about you, 'Fei."

"Wha…what?" WuFei stammered, flustered. He gaped openly at Duo rubbing a thumb soothingly over the back of his hand.

"I more than care about you, actually. I love you. And before you banged your head and forgot the past three years, well, you loved me too."

"That's impossible," WuFei gaped.

"What? That you could love me?" Duo's voice sounded light when he asked the question but his eyes flickered with hurt.

"No, that's not what I mean," WuFei growled, exasperated, but his words faltered. He wondered, what had he meant. He sighed, furiously rubbing his face, "None of this makes sense. I remember the past three years, Maxwell, and I'm sorry, but you weren't in them."

"I know," Duo cut in, hiding the pain those words brought him with practiced ease, "Sally explained the false memories to me."

"False…memories…"

The door to the room opened and both boys startled. Sally Po stood in the frame looking expectantly down at them. She held a folder under her arm.

"Everything taken care of?" she asked.

"Uh…yeah," Duo stammered answer, straightening and clearing his throat, "He's caught up, at least."

"Good. There's no need to worry, Chang, the memory loss is temporary," Sally said turning her attention to WuFei as she entered the room and closed the door behind her, "Now I think sending you home will be in your best interest. Perhaps familiar surroundings will help to stir up your memories. I'm releasing you into Mister Maxwell's care."

WuFei stared blankly, mouth agape, at the both of them. When he found his voice, he demanded, "You really expect me to believe that I hit my head and dreamed I was a well-paid accountant in Bergonia?"

Sally sighed, looking sympathetically to Duo, "I suggest trying to go about your life as normally as possible. Don't be discouraged if his memory takes time to return, be patient, try to answer any questions he has as candidly as possible," she flickered an uncertain glance at her glaring patient, then back to Duo, "I'm prescribing a painkiller, to be taken as necessary, and you'll need to replace his bandages in the morning. I've scheduled him for an MRI tomorrow."

WuFei lay back as Sally spoke, looking angrily over his shoulder at the far wall. This was utterly ridiculous, he told himself, and there was no way the last three years were nothing more than a figment of his rattled imagination. But he couldn't think of another explanation for why he was in that bed, in that hospital, talking to strangers from his past. He realized his hand was still clasped by Duo. There was warmth and tenderness in the other boy's touch and WuFei couldn't quite place the emotion it stirred in him but it wasn't altogether unpleasant.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Chapter 5 is up! This is a bit longer of a chapter. This and the next chapter are the last two of the ones I wrote a long time ago...it's weird reading back over them and seeing how my writing has changed. I liked the double-elliptical a lot for some reason. At the moment I have 22 chapters finished for this story, and maybe five or six left to finish. I know the story is a tad predictable, but it's meant to be, I warned that it's light-hearted and feel-good, but I hope the journey is fun. I've begun laying out the groundwork for a much more cerebral story after this that will play more on the political and sci-fi aspects of the show and incorporate all of the main character.

Thank you so much for the review every chapter so far, Duaimei. I always say that as long as I know one person is reading and liking the story, that it's worth it to write and update. I really appreciate it, you keep me posting! Same goes to all those who've reviewed previously. And to those who read and never review, thank you as well, I see those views ;) and it warms my heart to know you made it this far. Anyhow, This chapter is quite a bit longer than the others. I hope everyone enjoys!

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Chapter 5:

WuFei was not happy as he folded his arms over his chest and angrily watched people shuffle about the hospital lobby around him. He was dressed in clothes Duo had brought for him 'from home', loose cargo pants and a button down, casual garments he never really cared for in any of his lives.

Duo stood at the counter flirting with the pretty nurse. Duo complimented, the girl giggled, and WuFei rolled his eyes. Death was looking more and more reasonable as an explanation to WuFei's current predicament because this was very akin to hell.

Briefly WuFei wondered if maybe this was jealousy he felt and, if that were the case, was there perhaps a hint of truth in the story Sally and Duo had peddled to him about memory loss? Scoffing, he shifted uncomfortably in the hospital wheelchair they forced him to roll out of the building in. He knew his feelings were less complicated than a subconscious boyfriend oppressed by an odd case of amnesia.

The last time WuFei could remember seeing Duo the experience hadn't been pleasant. The words the other boy had spoken fiercely his direction replayed in his mind, bringing with them fresh new anger and resentment, things like "traitor", "coward", and "Treize's plaything".

WuFei tried to remind himself that Duo had said terrible things to the other Gundam pilots as well but he couldn't help recalling that the others had seemed so unfazed by it, whereas, to him, Duo's words had cut deeper than any knife ever could. He supposed it was because the truths about him were, by far, the worst.

A light hand touched to WuFei's shoulder, Duo's mouth close to his ear, "Ready to go?"

Flinching away, WuFei nodded somewhat, flustered. He found it hard to believe he could have ever gotten used to so much physical contact from the other boy, especially in public. Duo gripped the handles of the wheelchair, directing it towards the door, nodding greeting to hospital staff as they passed. Sally was waiting for them at the main entrance and she offered up crutches for WuFei, which he eagerly accepted.

"Why was I in this damn chair then?" he demanded, as he tested his weight on the supports.

"Hospital policy," Sally explained with a casual shrug. She had civilian clothes on; blue jeans, sweater, heavy coat, scarf, hat, and she gripped a bag in her hand. The three left the building together, headed towards the parking lot, as she went on to say, "I'm due at Rosenthal in two hours."

"You've been here all night," Duo commented.

"The life of a doctor," she laughed in response. When they reached the lot of cars, she split directions, waving over her shoulder and calling, "Be safe, boys."

WuFei felt touched that the woman had stayed, undoubtedly well past her committed time, at the hospital to care for him. Duo returned Sally's sentiment and continued onward, glancing back every now and then at the young man hobbling after him. They stopped at a rundown black pick-up truck that looked to be older than both boys' ages put together and as WuFei narrowed his eyes disgustedly at the vehicle Duo unlocked the passenger door, swinging it open. The vehicle had purple rims, flames painted down the front, and a sexy female Grim Reaper painted across the tailgate.

"You've got to be kidding me," WuFei muttered, reluctantly moving towards the seat. He gripped the sides of the door and attempted to pull himself up. When Duo stepped forward to help him he snapped, "I can do it myself."

After a great deal of strain, WuFei managed to slide into the seat, and Duo threw the crutches in the pick-up bed before crossing to the driver's side, swinging up behind the wheel, and turning the engine on with a lion's roar. WuFei had to admit, for the age of the vehicle, the engine sounded well cared for. They pulled from the hospital, snow fluttering all around.

Danover had always been a beautiful city. Even in that older part of town the buildings were intricately structured. The layout and atmosphere of the entire area was light and casual, and while it had the makings of a large city, it carried the attitude and foliage of a small rural town. Until that moment, WuFei hadn't realized how much he'd missed the place.

Duo chuckled suddenly and WuFei glanced at him.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Huh?" The laughter stopped as abruptly as it had started, a grin locked in place on the heart shaped face. "Oh it's just...your look...back at the hospital. Memory or no, I guess some things don't change."

"I don't follow."

"You hate my truck," Duo explained, "Always have. You think I bought it to spite you."

"And did you?"

"Honestly?" Duo smiled and WuFei quirked a brow. "Well…you do look cute trying to get in…"

"That's not funny," WuFei growled and Duo shrugged.

"Depends on who you ask," he quipped then settling back in his seat, "You might be happy to know your bike is home safe and sound. Bit banged up, but you were planning on spending the vacation working on it anyways."

"I haven't owned a bike in a long time," WuFei commented offhandedly as he gazed out the window at the passing scenery. He missed the pained look that crossed his companion's features. They fell into uncomfortable silence.

Twenty minutes or so later, Duo turned the truck into a cul-de-sac lined with older Western style houses, most of which were modestly decorated for the holidays. He pulled into the driveway of a small one story and WuFei gazed curious at the humble abode.

The roof was lined with brightly colored lights, a nice wreath hung at the door, the lawn was littered with gaudy plastic decorations: a Santa with sleigh, a glowing Nativity scene except baby Jesus appeared to be a small scale replica of the Deathscythe Gundam, elves hiding in bushes wrapped with LED lights, lawn gnomes wearing garland, and pink flamingos wearing Santa hats. The single tree in the yard, bare of leaves, was wrapped with lights and covered in ornaments.

Two snowmen, recently built, stood in the center of it all gazing at the street as though to greet passer-bys. WuFei noted that one was dressed in a familiar white Chinese style coat and seemed to be wearing reading glasses, while the other had on a black jacket and snow piled on the back formed like a braid and a priest's collar.

At the end of the yard a mailbox was pitched, 'Chang-Maxwell' written across it in swooping calligraphic handwriting that, WuFei abashedly realized, was not too unlike his own. Everything was covered in a fresh blanket of snow.

"Home sweet home," Duo announced as he put the truck in park and shut off the engine. He looked expectantly at the dark haired boy next to him, "Memory back yet?"

The response was a scowl.

"That would be a 'no'," Duo tossed open his door and hopped out.

WuFei followed suit, though he didn't so much hop but slide out of the truck only to find himself gripping the door painfully for support. Duo rushed around, grabbing the crutches on his way and sliding them under WuFei's arms. They walked up the path to the doorway and Duo fumbled with his keys. He glanced to the other boy looking at the chipping blue paint that coated the house.

"We've been planning to repaint the house in summer…if we're lucky to get any time off, anyways," he said over his shoulder, startling WuFei who turned his attention slightly to the other, "We moved here a little over five months ago. It's our first house… _my_ first house. You wanted something new – which we could've afforded – but I wanted a fixer up."

Duo unlocked the door, opening it and gesturing WuFei forward.

"Why is that?" WuFei asked as he hobbled into the house. A welcome warmth greeted him as well as the apple spice scent mixed with a touch of something…vanilla bean perhaps? The house seemed larger on the inside and it seemed to glow. It felt cozy and lived in.

"I don't know," Duo shrugged, stepping in beside WuFei and shutting the door – and effectively the cold out – behind him, "I guess because, well, you liked the idea of a place with history but with a fixer upper we could really make it our own, ya' know, rebuild it together. Besides it gives us a constructive project to work on…you learned a long time ago if I don't do something constructive with all my restless energy, I tend to get a little _de_ structive. Your words, not mine."

WuFei nodded slightly at the explanation as he took in his new surroundings. Odd, it did all sound like things he might say. An open living room was to his left furnished with a ragged cream colored sofa and a weather worn coffee table in front of it, on top of which were magazines about motorcycles, mechanical interests, computers, and – to WuFei's surprise – cooking. Living alone in Bergonia and working as much as he did he rarely cooked, opting to eat out instead.

A large lit pine tree was set up in the far corner of the room. It was weighed down heavily with a wide variety of colorful ornaments, garland, tinsel, and a brightly illuminated star glistened at the top. On the beautiful tree skirt lay a few presents of varying size. Pinned to the wall nearby were two stockings, one labeled with his name the other with Duo's – the names appeared to be written by the opposite boy's hand, WuFei's stocking sported a gaudy look that could only be attributed to Duo's poor tastes whereas Duo's had a more modest, minimalist decoration to it. In contrast to the outdoors, these appeared to be the only Christmas decorations inside.

To WuFei's immediate right was a door, most likely for a closet. Farther back he could see an opening to the kitchen and a turn off leading down a hall where there was most likely bedrooms, a door to the garage, and a restroom. Duo removed his jacket and, confirming WuFei's suspicions, opened the door to the right and hung up his discarded garment. He motioned for WuFei's and, after a bit of a struggle and a snapped "I can get it off myself", WuFei's coat was hung beside Duo's own.

For a moment, WuFei let his mind wander to his apartment in Bergonia, cold and dark, smelling of the chemical cleaners his housekeeper used. Everything was brand new from the black leather sofa he rarely used, the stereo he'd never turned on, the fifty-inch television he hated to watch, right down to the building it was situated in.

Duo breezed into the house towards the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, "I'm going to make some tea. Why don't you rest a bit on the couch, babe?"

The walls were covered in framed photographs, several large painted canvases, and a few scattered sketches. WuFei moved to them for a better look. Some of the photographs were of people he knew from the war but several contained faces he didn't recognize – perhaps acquaintances from the three years he allegedly couldn't remember. A lot of the pictures were candid shots of Duo and himself. His eyes fixed on one in particular and he could feel the blood rushing to his head as his stomach dropped to his feet.

Up until that moment, WuFei had held firmly to the belief – hope? – that this was all just some elaborate joke being played on him. But whatever doubt he harbored for Duo's story faltered as he stared at the framed photograph. It showed Duo and himself, in Preventer uniform, looking into one another's eyes, their faces tilted towards each other, their bodies close. It seemed to have been snapped unbeknownst to the two. In the picture, his fingers lightly touched Duo's forearm, Duo's hand rested casually on his hip. Duo's features were gentle.

WuFei's brow knit together. He didn't recognize that look on his face in that photograph. He couldn't explain it, the way his pictured self stared up at the pictured Duo so warmly…so tenderly…so…

"I like that picture," Duo's voice was soft. His presence prickled at WuFei's skin as he stepped beside the smaller boy. Duo held two unmatched mugs - in Bergonia all of WuFei's unused dishware were from the same new set - in each hand filled with warm water, teabags dipped inside. He offered one to WuFei, who accepted with a murmured 'thanks'. He sipped his own and turned for the sofa, saying over his shoulder, "You'd never guess who took it."

WuFei was silent, shifting to send a quick expectant glance the braided boy's way.

"Relena."

WuFei offered a bemused look.

"We were at the Darlian estate organizing a security detail for some schmooze-fest Gala planned for the night. Weren't really paying attention to her playing with her camera and she snapped a shot of us. Said we looked like the perfect couple, told us her teacher cried a little when she turned it in for an assignment, but you know how she can exaggerate...bah, politicians. Anyhow, you were so embarrassed I had to ask for a copy to hang on the wall and humiliate you with whenever we had guests over."

Duo paused to take a sip of his tea.

"She'd been taking photography classes, was getting really good at it as you can see. She had to drop them eventually, her duties as Vice Foreign Minister take up too much of her time. A few of those pictures were taken by her, though. Got to hand it to the princess, she's good at catching people in an honest moment. Some of the ones she's done of Heero, and even Trowa, are amazing."

WuFei turned his attention back to the wall moving on to study the paintings as he took a sip from his own cup. Oolong, his favorite, and brewed perfectly, he noted. One painting was a landscape with bright sweeping colors, one a monotone of a Cathedral, one was a delicate depiction of two dancers that looked very much like a well-dressed Heero and Relena wearing formal clothes – a suit and an intricate ball gown respectively; though only a painting, they seemed to glide across the canvas. He moved his eyes over the sketches; there were several of various random people, strangers on the street, going about their business.

"These are very nice. Who…" WuFei trailed off. He flushed as he realized one of the sketches was of him, at least, a more attractive version of him than he ever saw in the mirror. He appeared to be sleeping on his side, his chest bare, his loose hair sprawled across the white paper, his hand curled up close to his face. He looked at peace.

"Ah…thanks," Duo said, watching WuFei over his mug. The dark haired boy spun in surprise.

"You did these," he exclaimed, wincing at how rude his surprise probably sounded.

Duo nodded with a modest shrug, despite the color that touched his cheeks.

"I didn't know you…" WuFei began but caught himself as he realized it was something he was supposed to know and that those types of comments were probably wearing thin on the other boy. Duo hesitated only a moment.

"My therapist suggested I take up a hobby…something that could separate me from the war," he explained, his eyes staring at the tea in his cup now, "I tried different things. Model building – you confiscated the glue after three days. I did collecting for awhile, but I kept forgetting exactly _what_ I was collecting and just ended up with a lot of crap until you got fed up and threw everything out. Hilde suggested writing – bad idea, I'll spare you that recollection until your memories come back – and Quatre came up with art, even donated some supplies and an easel he never used. Come to think of it, he probably just bought the things to go with his aristocrat image...rich people. Anyway, I took a class and…well…the first things I did were kind of dark, depressing, and all war related which made the doc mad but my art teacher loved me so I stuck with it. Eventually I moved away from the battle scenes and well…" He waved a hand at the paintings as some sort of evidence and took another sip of his tea.

WuFei stared blankly at the other boy, though not so much surprised at the talent as he knew the other boy to have many varied abilities. He remembered that Duo could be loud and obnoxious but he never recalled Deathscythe's pilot to talk quite so openly and honestly about personal matters. It was so casual the way he spoke, as well. No uncertainty, no shame, no fear. WuFei blushed, realizing that it would make sense. They were supposedly in an intimate, and very committed if the names on the mailbox meant anything, relationship.

"Therapist?"

"Hm…?" Duo met WuFei's dark eyes, and smirked, "Oh yeah…uh…Une made me go when you got me to join the Preventers. It was sort of a…um…starting condition."

A starting condition, WuFei thought, that's strange. Une hadn't made WuFei talk to a therapist when he joined the Preventer ranks and he had probably been no more messed up than Duo from the war.

WuFei frowned, sipping his tea. The last memory he had of Duo was the Winner Christmas party.

Three years ago.

The three years he recalled after that were supposedly false. What could have happened in that time, he wondered, that made things so different.

"How did we end up together?" The question spilled from WuFei's lips before it was a thought in his mind.

Duo was quiet and WuFei couldn't bring himself to look at the other boy, he knew his cheeks were burning bright red. He tried to tell himself it was a perfectly normal thing to ask and that it shouldn't be awkward if the story of their relationship were true but he was still having difficulty wrapping his head around the idea that he and Duo were together. No two pilots were more different from one another than them.

A ringing suddenly erupted in the background, saving both boys from the story.

Duo excused himself, leaving for the kitchen again and WuFei sighed heavily. His left leg was aching and his arms were beginning to feel sore. He limped his way to the sofa and sunk into the cushions, leaning his crutches against the arm of the chair.

Even at work this was the most he'd interacted with people in a day. He felt odd in that little house, so small compared to his wide, spread out penthouse. This entire situation was erupting emotions inside of him, most of which he didn't recognize and couldn't name. It irritated him. He found himself longing for the solitude of that life he remembered in Bergonia and praying that, at the very least, this was all a horrible dream he would soon wake up from.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Next chapter! This one's short and sweet, with a bit of emotion. I feel bad for Duo in this story, I put him through a lot. After WuFei, he's my second favorite pilot...so I have to pick on the two of them. We only hurt the ones we love. Thank you for the reviews last chapter! Duaimei, that would be an interesting companion fic...poor alt-WuFei! He'd wake up expecting flowers and loved ones and find he has no way to even contact all the people he knows. Krazy Kitty, I'm glad to hear! There's a lot more to read! I'm hoping to finish writing this story this weekend. Thank you to the readers too, you guys are awesome! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and, please, feel free to let me know what you think. Back to the daily grind for me.

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Chapter 6:

Though his stomach swirled with nausea and his mind reeled from pain and anxiety, Duo slipped on an easy smile and answered the vid-phone. It filled with a familiar expressionless face.

One glistening green eye met wide blue and Duo let himself relax and allow his forced happiness slip a little as the stress of the past day seeped through. No use trying to hide behind a forced façade, the man on the screen would see right through it.

"Hey, Tro, nice to see you," Duo greeted.

"How is he?" Good old Trowa Barton, always straight to the point.

"You talk to Sally?"

"No. I talked to Quatre."

Who talked to Sally after talking to Heero, who in turn had talked to Relena, who had talked to Hilde after Duo had called her to talk him down when WuFei took off and failed to return after their fight; Duo mentally translated. He was getting good at understanding the more stoic pilots who spoke a need-to-know-basis language that still managed to drive him up the wall even after living three years with one of them.

"How long have you known about the accident?" He already guessed the answer but Duo needed to ask anyway, to justify the anger simmering his blood.

"Since early morning, around three."

"Great," Duo seethed, then exploded, "Would you care to explain why no one felt the need to call and tell me my boyfriend was bleeding all over the ER after smacking into the pavement at whatever fucking speed he was going – I'm betting beyond neck-breaking fast? Because I'm guessing every single one of my so-called friends knew _long_ before I did!"

Unfazed, Trowa calmly replied, "Sally felt it was best to wait until she was certain of his condition."

"So I got to sit at home and wonder where the hell he was at, if he was okay, if he was coming back while Sally played 'mother-knows-best'?" Duo demanded, his anger boiling over, "It doesn't matter what his condition was, I should've been there! I should've been at his side!"

Trowa was silent. Duo glared at him. A few heartbeats passed.

"He's fine," Duo finally muttered, looking away, adding with a quake in his voice, "He's forgotten things."

The corner of Trowa's mouth twitched slightly. He said nothing, waiting for Duo to explain.

"Sally called it 'selective memory loss', heard of it?" Duo thought to throw in jokingly 'ever suffer from it' but having this discussion seemed to put him in a somber mood. It made the situation feel more real than it had at the hospital.

"No."

"Well, it's a type of amnesia, but the person only loses a part of their memory," Duo explained, then biting his lower lip and looking away as forming tears warmed his eyes, "He's forgotten me."

"Just you?"

"The past three years," Duo corrected with a snap, then more gently, "He remembers everything before then but the last three years are kind of…confused…in his mind."

"I see. How confused?" Trowa was so calm about this; Duo hated it.

"He thinks he lives in Bergonia," Duo started slowly, toying with the end of his braid, "In an apartment. That he hasn't seen or spoken to me in three years. Sally about two. That he left the Preventers, works as an accountant. That he sold his motorbike."

That finally made Trowa lift a brow.

"That's not memory loss," he pointed out.

"More like memory trade," Duo agreed, then sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, smearing the unshed tears, "Sally says it's temporary, not sure _how_ temporary, but temporary."

"That's good."

"Yeah, right," Duo snorted, folding his arms over his chest and dipping his chin down.

"You're worried."

"And why shouldn't I be?"

Trowa turned his attention to something off screen and Duo could hear muffled words from an unknown someone. Duo buried his face in his hand, waiting as Trowa listened to whoever was talking; most likely about the next show - Trowa worked at the circus, after all. It sounded like instructions but Duo wasn't paying enough attention to understand the muted conversation.

His mind was on WuFei, lost and confused in the other room. He wondered at the things that must be going through that boy's head, how frightened and angry he must be. Could they be fine, Duo thought, would they – _he_ – make it through this?

"You should have faith in WuFei," Trowa's words floated to Duo's ears. He startled, looking up through his bangs at the screen.

"I do have faith in WuFei. The bump on his head…not so much."

"He loves you, Duo."

"Too bad he doesn't remember that, huh?"

"You're worried his memory won't return."

Duo bit into his bottom lip again, lowering his head to shadow his face. Despite being a complete mystery, Trowa had always been able to read others like a book. A personality quirk that annoyed the hell out of Duo Maxwell: Hider Extraordinaire and Master of Running Away.

"So what if I am," Duo bit out, looking up into that apathetic face with shimmering eyes, darkened with fear and generally dispersed anger at the world, "It's a reasonable thing to be afraid of. Three years, Trowa, that's his and my entire relationship romantic and otherwise. Before that we had what? Chance glimpses between blaze and bullets during the wars and brief moments of 'what-was-that-guy's-name-again' afterwards. If his memory is gone for good, then I might as well go with it."

Those words seemed to spark something inside of Trowa because the corners of his mouth turned down a millimeter and his visible eye narrowed ever so slightly.

"I don't understand your reasoning. Even if his memory is gone it changes nothing, yet you speak as though you've already been defeated in a battle you have yet to fight. I never thought, no matter how difficult the situation, you would ever abandon him."

"It's not that simple…"

"After all, through everything, he never abandoned you."

Duo flinched from the sharp edge of those words as they sank deep into his skin. The only thing worse than a perceptive Trowa was an angry Trowa, because no one knew how to inflict verbal damage like the most silent member of the former five Gundam pilots. He wielded words like he wielded a knife, and damn if he wasn't pure death with a knife.

"Trowa," Duo breathed, steeling himself, "I don't know if I can handle…"

"Yes you can."

"But what if…"

"He loves you."

"Yeah, but _what if_ ," Duo growled, finally losing what little composure he had, "What if his memory doesn't come back? What if he doesn't remember the past three years with me? What if he doesn't remember that he loves me? _What if he never loves me again_?"

Trowa was quiet. Duo was trembling; tears steaming down his cheeks, fingers gripping his own arms until the knuckles turned white. When Trowa finally spoke again, his voice was a whisper.

"The memories would be lost to him, Duo, but what is left will still be him. He fell in love with you once. What is there to stop him from falling in love with you a second time?"

"The first time was a one in a billion long shot. I'm a lot of things, Trowa, lucky ain't one of them," Duo muttered stubbornly, he heaved a heavy sigh, "I won't abandon him. I could never abandon him. I'm only…it's just…it's been a rough couple of days."

Impassive apathy fixed on Trowa's features once more. Duo swiped away his tears furiously with the collar of his shirt.

"In regards to lunch tomorrow," Trowa began in a tone that made it seem as though the entire conversation the two boy's just held had never occurred, "Will it be cancelled?"

"I…um…I'm not sure," Duo mumbled, straightening and pulling a smile across his face, "Po said that we should carry on as normal as possible, that it might help bring his memories back quicker."

"But?"

"I don't know if he'll want to and he's in pretty bad shape anyhow."

"What do you mean by 'if he'll want to'?" Trowa questioned, curious.

"Like I said," Duo explained wearily, "He can't remember having seen me in three years. Po, two years. I'm not entirely sure where that puts you or any of the other guys on the 'cut-all-ties-with' timeline of his three years false memories but I'm willing to bet in his Bergonia life he didn't eat lunch, or any other meal for that matter, on a regular basis with you."

"I see."

"What do you think? Lunch or no?"

"I think…" Trowa answered with only a slight pause, "That I will be at Kimiko's Café tomorrow. 1 o'clock. It would please me if you two came."

"Right," Duo grinned, "I'll talk to you later then, Tro."

"Yes. Later."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Oi...I almost forgot to update this morning. As always, thank you for the review, Duaimei. Rest of ya'll are lazy, but appreciate you. Also, I don't review much either, so...glass houses. Here's the next chapter, enjoy - the mountains are calling and I must go.

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Chapter 7

Duo flipped the vid-phone off and startled when he turned to see WuFei hobbling into the kitchen. He flustered a bit, wondering how much the Chinese boy had heard, but there was no indication he'd heard anything.

WuFei placed his empty mug into the sink and looked expectantly to Duo.

"That was Trowa," Duo stated, motioning to the vid-phone. Surprise passed over WuFei's features but flittered away when he brought his expression under control.

"You still speak with Trowa," he commented.

"Yes, _we_ do. He was wondering if we were still meeting for lunch tomorrow," Duo went on, a bit of impatience edging his tone that he quickly covered up. He folded his arms across his chest, leaned against the wall.

WuFei frowned at the kitchen-tiled floor, shifting his weight to his right side, "It won't bother me if you go out. I'll stay and read. I assume I have books. I don't want to interfere with your life."

"No way," Duo groaned, "I'm not going by myself. He's _your_ friend!"

"My friend…?" WuFei startled.

"Don't get me wrong, he's my friend too, yeah, I like the guy," Duo continued, folding his hands behind his head and frowning at the ceiling, "We just don't have much to talk about. The last time we met up without you was pure torture. Talk about bo-ring!"

"And what exactly do he and I talk about?"

"What _don't_ you two talk about? You get started on philosophy, politics, literature and the conversation never ends. I usually just sit back and shoot spitballs at that asshole waiter who just _has to_ hit on you every time we go to Kimi-chan's. Seriously, what part of 'taken' does that guy not understand? He honestly thinks you're playing hard to get every time you blatantly ignore him. Hell, you didn't even know he was hitting on you until I pointed it out. Love your oblivious side, babe, but it was kind of obvious. The douche undresses you with his eyes whenever he looks at you."

WuFei felt his cheeks go red as Duo crossed the room to stand in front of him, a big grin in place, hands tucked into his pockets. The shy Chinese boy was having a hard time understanding how he could've gotten used to the talkative American, the longwinded explanations were overwhelming and the unshakeable cheer was grating his nerves.

 _Trowa is your friend._ The wordsechoed in WuFei's head as he tried to grasp their meaning. He and Trowa were friends. He and Trowa spoke regularly on a multitude of subjects. He, WuFei Chang, had a friend.

As with Duo, the last he could recall seeing the stoic former pilot of Heavyarms was at the Winner Christmas party three years ago. They hadn't exchanged any words; no greeting or pleasantries. Trowa had given him a dark look from across the room, quick and decisive, before turning his attention elsewhere.

Even during and after Duo's drunken outburst they hadn't so much as looked at one another. The very idea that they could be friends was so far-fetched WuFei was more likely to believe he regularly paraded around the house in a frilly pink skirt.

Of course, during the first war there had been brief moments of comfortable silences between the two boys. They'd exchanged a calm, meditative understanding of one another. It had been Trowa who'd given WuFei refuge from himself after that first duel with Treize, enemy leader of OZ.

During the second war, there had been a sort of relief when Trowa joined Mariemea's cause, even as part of WuFei knew that it was an act of subterfuge. Maybe that was why he was quick to accept the skilled infiltrator into their ranks, instead of calling him out as what WuFei had known even then that he was: a double agent.

"Don't call me that," WuFei finally stammered and the grin faltered slightly on Duo's face. He recovered quickly though, heading for the refrigerator and looking over its contents.

"If you really don't want to go, I can call Tro back and just let him know you need rest. Motorcycle accidents make great excuses for getting out of just about anything," Duo called over his shoulder.

"No. I'll go," WuFei startled himself with the answer. Duo smiled warmly at the other boy.

"Great," he exclaimed, "I'm glad to hear that. Trowa will be happy, too. He was worried about you."

WuFei stared openly at the braided boy, "Really?"

"Hm…? Yeah. He wouldn't have called if he weren't. Hey, you hungry? I'm going to start some dinner. I know they gave you food before we left but that was hospital food, doesn't really count."

Duo snickered when he caught the uncertainty on his companion's face.

"You gave me that same look the first time I offered to cook when I came to live with you," he said, pulling some items from the cold box.

WuFei felt his face warm.

"I see you still find amusement at my discomfort," he commented quietly, walking across the room to study the vid-phone.

Duo began towards him, then stopped midway as though having second-thoughts about whatever action he'd planned to take. He stood lost a moment in the middle of the floor watching the other boy slowly moving through their shared kitchen.

The kitchen décor would not have been something WuFei would pick out. It had a country air to it, jars shaped like barnyard animals, wallpaper decorated with vegetables, warm autumn colors. For crying out loud, the refrigerator was canary yellow; it had more photographs of the two boys with friends and in various locations around the world and colonies, pinned to the door with cute magnets featuring cartoon animals and food with faces. Homey, was the word, the kitchen was homey.

WuFei thought of his refrigerator in Bergonia, deep black. The rest of the kitchen was stainless steel appliances, stark white walls, black and white tiled floor. Cold, sterile, untouched.

This kitchen he now stood in would not have been something he'd pick, but not for lack of want. There was something about it that tugged at buried emotions, something...something familiar. It reminded him of...

"My grandmother..." he mumbled.

"Hm?" Duo perked, then grinned, "Oh, yeah. Grandma Shoe-lin..ba..ugh...crazy Chinese name I can't pronounce."

WuFei glanced to the braided boy, "Xiurong Qi"

"Right, her. You told me you wanted a kitchen like hers when we started decorating. That she'd had the warmest kitchen, that being inside of it was the only time you ever truly felt..."

"...at home," WuFei murmured.

Duo folded his hands behind his head and nodded, hopefulness shimmering in his eyes. He waited, uncharacteristically silent as WuFei finished surveying the room. Dark ebony eyes settled on cobalt.

"Foolish sentiment. I can hardly believe I've become so weak," WuFei grumbled. Hope quickly scurried from Duo's face. "I am not hungry, thank you. But I am tired. Where do I sleep?"

"Uh...well," Duo dropped his arms to his side and headed for the living area once more, saying over his shoulder, "Our room is down this hall."

WuFei frowned, pausing in the door-frame from the kitchen looking sidelong down the hall at his retreating companion. His stomach dropped as he repeated dumbly, " _Our_ room."

Duo sighed. He opened the door and looked to WuFei. It caused a stitch of pain in WuFei's chest while a nice bit of color tinged his cheeks. Of course they shared a room, it was stupid of him to sound surprised. He tried not to think about what types of things they did in that room.

"I think I'll take the couch," WuFei murmured.

Duo made a face.

"Po did say to go about things as normally as possible," he joked, smirking suggestively enough to rush all the blood straight to WuFei's head and then resignedly offered before the other boy could process the full extent of that comment fast enough to decide he ought to kill Duo for it, "Look, you take the bed. I'll take the couch."

"Maxwell, I couldn't..."

"It'll be a nice change," Duo cut in, letting slide the formal use of his adopted surname, "You always take the couch when we fight, and when you're in tip-top shape, I can't really beat you in a wrestling match for it."

WuFei flustered. He opened his mouth to protest again and Duo held up a silencing hand.

"Alright, if you really want the couch you can have it," Duo relented, then with a sly glint in his eye, "You'll just have to race me for it."

Testing the weight on his injured leg, WuFei assessed the situation. Duo was quick, but in optimal shape WuFei had always been faster and...what the hell was he doing? He shook his head furiously and glared at the grinning braided idiot.

"I am not racing you for the couch," he growled.

"Of course you aren't," Duo replied. He sauntered by, swiping a finger across the chagrined WuFei's nose, and plopping onto the couch with his arms folded under his head, "Because I'm taking it. Unless..." he sat up a bit to peek at WuFei surreptitiously, "You want to share?"

WuFei hobbled down the hallway, fighting down the heat in his face and choosing to ignore the muffled snickers at his back.

There was no way.

No way in this Earth.

No way in Hell.

Definitely no way in Heaven.

No way in that idiot's dreams.

Just no way he, WuFei Chang, had ever, _ever_ , been in love with Duo Maxwell.

The room was surprisingly sparse in contrast to the rest of the house. There was a Queen-sized mattress in the center of the room layered with more blankets and pillows than WuFei could ever imagine being necessary. In Bergonia, he slept with a single blanket and a firm pillow, neatly made every morning, pressed flat and smoothed, with hospital corners. Everything on this bed was frumpy and hastily thrown together.

Walls were bare. Two unmatched lamps sat on either side of the headboards, providing the only light in the room. There was a large window across from the bed but its shades were drawn shut and the sun had long ago set.

There was a powder blue bureau dresser along one wall. A couple framed pictures lined it, and there were a few books held up by gargoyle bookends. Tacky, WuFei thought. They must be Duo's. To the right, WuFei could see a path towards a large walk-in closet and then the master bathroom.

This room felt different than the rest of the house. A kind of different WuFei could not place his finger on but it quickened his heart and gripped his stomach tight. If he were to believe Duo's story of their past three years together, then this would be the place where the two boys were closest, more intimate, more...

WuFei blushed. He worked his way into the room, studying, examining, taking it all in and attempting to process. He was overwhelmed by the number of pictures in the house, his apartment had none.

Of those on the dresser, one was of the Gundam pilots, all five dressed in Preventer uniforms lined up and looking stern-faced at the camera. They were at a ceremony of some sorts. The other was at a party, by the colors, WuFei would guess Christmas. It only pictured he and Duo, dressed in nice suits, Duo latched on to his shoulders, his own arm looped behind the other boy's back.

WuFei furrowed his brow. Strange. Duo looked different in that portrait than the boy down the hall lounging on the couch, different even from the boy of his distant memories. In the picture, he looked more slender, almost gaunt, a little tired and rundown, but his grin was the same.

WuFei shook his head, chalked it up to imagination. He moved on, running his fingers along the spines of those lined up books and quickly skimming their titles. A book of Buddhist koans and beside it a tiny book of Prayers, _The Complete Works of Nietzsche_ , Sun Tzu's _Art of War_ , a book by the Dalai Lama, and...WuFei drew his hand back, raising a brow.

"The Kama Sutra," he read aloud, disbelieving.

"It was a gift," came a voice at the door.

WuFei nearly fell in his attempt to spin around. Duo leaned against the door-frame, arms folded over his chest.

"Before you go blaming it on me," Duo continued, nonchalant, "It was a gag gift from the White Elephant at last year's Christmas party. You should have seen your face when you unwrapped that book..." He shook his head, lost in chuckles at the remembered expression, "Gave me fodder for the rest of the night, God bless whoever had the good sense to buy that thing. The dog-eared pages, for your information, weren't me either."

For a split second, WuFei decided that the other boy's laughter was actually a pleasant sound and that it was nice to hear again after so long, then the continued chatter immediately and vehemently forced the thought from his mind.

"Did you need something?" WuFei demanded.

"Oh yeah," Duo winced, reeling his mirth in and stumbling sheepishly through his next words, "Uh...I just came to check on you. You look alright though...so...I guess I'm going to leave you to rest."

"Yes. Thank you."

Duo started away. Paused on a second thought and said, "Um...the red toothbrush is yours. Top drawer left-hand side, for tooth paste..."

"Ah. Yes."

Duo continued out the door but only disappeared for a few seconds before popping back in, "Clothes...you have the right half of the...uh...dresser and closet."

WuFei felt a smile forming on his lips. Commanded it away and replaced it with irritation at the other boy's behavior.

"I'll be fine, Maxwell. Thank you," he growled. Duo nodded, eyes downcast.

"Right," he sighed, "Uh...yeah...sleep well."

Due slipped from sight and, after a few seconds, WuFei closed the door. He took a seat on the bed, eyes roving over the empty room. It occurred to him the possibility that Duo had lingered in hopes WuFei might change his mind, ask the other boy to share the bed. The couch couldn't be comfortable, and there was an odd kind of emptiness to sitting in a room down the hall from the only other inhabitant in the building; knowing that other person is there but separated by walls and endless space.

The realization flushed through WuFei, and he scowled, angry that he should even feel remotely guilty about the entire ridiculous situation. He plunged back into the mountain of blankets and pillows, growling in exasperation, and taken aback by the strange feeling swarming over him. The bed, despite all its excessive and unnecessary accoutrements, was surprisingly comforting, overly soft and drenched in a not-unpleasant scent reminisce of apple spice.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This one's a short chapter...I debated merging it with another but I like the stopping point. Oh well. Thank you, as always, for the review Duaimei! You're so awesome! And to the readers, thank you as well. I'm on a trip, about to head into the wilderness, so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and then do something fun and amazing today. And let me know what you think if you got the time.

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Chapter 8

WuFei startled awake the next morning to a blaring alarm clock. His head was pounding furious, and he was mildly aware of a little drool dribbling down his chin. His hair had come loose in the night, sprawling around his face, and he noted he was still fully dressed. His first thought was of the Christmas Party then the accident and he decided he must have driven home afterwards, passed out in bed. He didn't often drink much and he recalled having one glass at the party. It may have put him over.

Bleary eyed and determined to sleep in, WuFei reached for the alarm at the side of his bed and his hand hit empty air. The bedroom door creaked open and soft feet padded in, silencing the screeching alarm. WuFei sat frozen in the ocean of blankets and pillows, eyes remaining stubbornly closed. Maybe if he didn't open them it would all just fade away and he could finally wake up from the nightmare back into his real life.

"Sorry, 'Fei, I should've thought to turn that off last night," Duo said, "I'll let you get back to sleep. You need the rest."

Duo waited, possibly for a response from WuFei, but when none came he crept out of the room again, closing the door lightly behind him. WuFei counted to ten and opened his eyes. Nope, he wasn't home, the nightmare was still rolling. He bit back a frustrated cry and flopped back into the bed. He waited for his heart to stop raging against his chest and his head to slow in its spinning before untangling himself from the blankets and sitting up on the bed's edge. It was probably time to go back to the 'dead and in hell' theory.

In the closet, WuFei found a change of clothes – blue jeans that felt far too large and a swampy black long-sleeved shirt – then he slunk out of the bedroom and down the hall. He paused, searching the living room for Duo but other than a rumpled quilt on the couch, there was none. Noises were coming from the kitchen along with a faint smell of coffee.

Following his nose, WuFei peeked into the kitchen. Duo bustled around inside, he'd pulled out a carton of eggs and frying pan and appeared to be setting up to make breakfast. WuFei watched the other boy for a prolonged moment, scrutinizing his movements and expression. For all intents and purposes, the boy seemed to look and act much like the Duo that WuFei recalled from the war. Energetic and deceptively carefree.

That image of Duo three years ago flashed into WuFei's mind. The Duo before him, the Duo from the war, didn't mesh with the boy from that Christmas party drowning in anger and…despair? WuFei struggled to remember details from that last encounter, maybe there was a key in the memory to this mystery before him. It was the last time he could remember seeing the other boy, the answers had to be there.

"You grabbed clothes from the left side of the closet," Duo said, amusement mingled with disappointment. He'd spotted WuFei standing in the doorframe and paused in his bustling to look the other boy over. WuFei flustered, realizing now, as he looked at Duo's decidedly bulkier build, why the clothes he wore felt too large.

"These are your clothes," he stated the obvious, spinning round, "I'll go change."

"But wait, you look so cute in them! Like a small child, you should wear those all day," Duo called after, which only hurried WuFei faster down the hall.

WuFei returned a few moments later in garments much better cut to his body. Breakfast smelled close to complete. He eyed the coffee pot that Duo poured himself a mug from, and Duo motioned to a teapot brewing on the counter.

"I keep trying to switch you to coffee but you are married to your Chinese stereotype," he said.

"Yeah, that must be it. It couldn't possibly be because coffee is disgusting swill that tastes like burnt trash."

Unwilling to ask for help, WuFei searched a few cupboards before finding a mug. Duo watched out of the corner of his eye but said nothing. WuFei filled the mug, an ugly novelty piece with a cartoon chicken on it making a bad pun about returning to the roost that WuFei didn't fully understand, with tea. He took a seat at the table.

"Sally wants me to bring you in for a check-up today. She's also scheduled you for an MRI. I figured we could change your bandages and head after breakfast. We'll meet with Trowa at noon, so that gives us a little time if you want to stop downtown, there's some last minute shopping we still need to do, plus we can go see the Christmas light display," Duo said.

"Why on earth would I want to do such a thing?" WuFei muttered, making a face at his teacup at the thought of participating in any kind of Christmas activity whatsoever – especially one open to the general public.

"We go every year," Duo said quietly, losing his cheerful demeanor for only a split second before plating up some eggs, bacon, and a piece of toast, and setting it in front of WuFei with a smile, "It's fine. You just got home from the hospital, sore and all. We don't have to go. We can do whatever you want."

He took a seat across from WuFei, poking his fork at his own food. His brow wrinkled.

"So…what do you want to do?"

WuFei looked at the food in front of him in silent stun. He'd never planned social endeavors like this before. His entire life, even as a small child, had always been so perfectly planned: tutoring, training, work, study – and never had there been room for friends or friendships. His one relationship, his marriage to Meilan, even that had been planned without his input or regard.

"Don't stress it. We can come back here and relax," Duo said.

WuFei met the other boy's eyes, surprised by the understanding that brimmed there. Duo made an eating gesture with his hand, motioned to the plate in front of WuFei.

"Got to get your strength up."

After breakfast, Duo cleaned the kitchen and WuFei sat in the living room lost in his thoughts. Duo appeared moments later with a well-stocked first aid kit.

"Okay, honey, strip off the clothes," he declared.

WuFei flushed, snatching the box, and hobbling for the bathroom, "I can take care of the bandages myself."

Duo waited in the living room for WuFei to reappear, shirt in hand, a few of the bandages shoddily replaced, and the other's untouched. WuFei couldn't maneuver his sore body to reach them, and Duo smiled knowingly. WuFei wordlessly handed the first aid kit to Duo and sat on the couch.

Duo, to his credit, said nothing as he removed the bandages and put clean ones in place. His touch was gentle, his expression thoughtful. He reapplied antibiotics to open wounds, examined them with an expert eye. The Gundam pilots were not doctors by any means but they'd been trained in field medicine, and Duo was no exception. Once he finished replacing bandages, he went to work re-securing the ones WuFei had attempted to put into place.

WuFei sat rigid, struggling to keep the blush down from his face. He would not give Duo that satisfaction. But there was something comforting in that moment, something becoming a fast familiarity in the way Duo's hands brushed across his bare skin and the warmth that lingered long after those hands had pulled away. Duo wasn't an unattractive man, he'd always leaned towards the beautiful side with his flowing hair and brilliant eyes. He'd filled out more in those three years, though he remained skinny and lithe, his shoulders were broad and muscles more readily defined. He'd outgrown WuFei in height by several inches and though WuFei would have expected to feel envy, instead he felt awed.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This story is now completely written at 30 chapters, I've started another story but I'm torn between two that I really want to write at the moment...oh well, I'll figure it out. I think last chapter is the shortest chapter in this story, but they are all fairly short. Sorry for that. Thank you for the reviews last chapter! Duaimei, it's always nice to hear from you. Yeah, Christmas is a bit of Duo's thing...we'll get there, I promise. Sanaelsama, I'm so glad you decided to review though! Thank you for the kind words, I'm happy to hear you've got a lot of questions...hopefully most of them will be answered by the end. My trip was awesome, thank you! Thank you to all the readers, too. Hope you guys like the chapter!

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Chapter 9

Finished with the bandages, Duo left to put the first aid kit away. He retrieved their jackets, they loaded into the truck, and drove to the hospital. As they sat in the waiting room, Duo flipped through a magazine, and WuFei watched the people around them: a few small children played with toys in one corner, an elderly couple chatted in whispers, a young woman read a book on gardening. Sally appeared.

"Morning boys. How are you feeling today, WuFei?" she greeted.

WuFei scowled, "I'd like to get this over with."

Sally looked to Duo for help. He flopped the magazine down, slapped his hands on his knees, leaning forward in preparation to stand and declared, "His memory is still wonky."

"My memory is fine," WuFei began to protest, standing, he recalled all of the surmounting evidence otherwise and sighed, "Maybe. Jury is still out."

WuFei paused on the way into the clinic area, giving Duo an uncertain glance. The other boy was following but it didn't take him long to realize what the look on WuFei's face meant. He forced a smile, rubbing a sheepish hand over the back of his neck.

"I'll wait out here."

"Are you sure, Duo?" Sally said, surprise slowly replaced by realization that wasn't fast enough to save Duo from the awkward moment. He snatched up a magazine and waved it at her.

"Oh yeah, you guys have a copy of Womanhood Daily with an article on casseroles. You know, casseroles are every busy housewife's best friend and I'm always looking for an easy way to make a hearty meal that'll keep my man full and satisfied," he said, emphatically plopping in a chair and opening the magazine. He made a grand show of reading, though anyone could easily see he wasn't looking at the words on the page.

Sally led WuFei beyond the door that separated waiting room from clinic, and into a smaller room towards the back. She shut the door and they both took up seats. The room had all the usual accoutrements of a medical office – a sink, cabinets hiding things like tongue depressors and bandages, plastic bin for throwing away biomaterials, a box of latex gloves, posters detailing symptoms of various common yet horrific ailments.

"So, your memory is still a bit foggy," she started with the elephant.

"I'm still not convinced the problem is my memory," WuFei replied, crossing his arms and turning a cheek towards her. She continued unabated.

"You're a man of logic, WuFei, you have been in all the time I've known you. If you remember events one way, and everyone else remembers them another way – it's Ockham's Razor. What is the best explanation?"

"Everyone has lost their minds except me."

"Or?"

"This is an elaborate prank orchestrated by everyone from my past for reasons I haven't yet determined."

Sally tapped her fingers across her arm, " _Or_?"

"I'm dead and this is hell," WuFei glared at her.

"Okay," Sally folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward, peering intent at WuFei, "Let's talk about the other memories then. If this is your idea of hell, I take it you were happy in that other life."

Happy. WuFei gave up on happiness a long time ago – long before he went to war, before he could barely walk. Happiness was the razor-sharp end of his sword pointed at the throat of a worthy opponent. Happiness was the smell from charred remains of a laser canon blast. Happiness was a warm gun.

"You weren't in contact with anyone from this life. Your friends from the war, your fellow Gundam pilots, _Duo_? I'm curious, why? Why did you leave the Preventers? Why did you stop talking to the people who cared most about you?" Sally straightened, her brow drawing together as passion grew in her voice, "Why did you stop talking to the people you cared the most about?"

"Cared?" WuFei repeated, the word tasted foreign in his mouth. He thought back to the last time he could remember seeing those people from the past, those people that Sally proclaimed cared so deeply for him. The scathing looks, their disregard, their feigned ignorance to his presence. Duo's last words three years ago echoed in his mind as he saw himself reflected in that boy's eyes, deadened with hate for an allegedly peace filled world.

"Why is this hell, WuFei?"

Why, indeed. WuFei couldn't answer her. He thought of Duo sitting outside in the waiting room pretending to read a magazine. Duo, making breakfast that morning in his pajamas from the night before, his hair still somewhat mussed. Duo, struggling to leave WuFei alone in the bedroom. Their bedroom.

The rest of his checkup with Sally didn't last much longer than that, and then WuFei was taken to change into an uncomfortable hospital gown. A technician loaded him up into an MRI machine, and the scanning took several tens of minutes from there. WuFei took the opportunity to meditate and turn the conversation with Sally over in his head.

Ockham's Razor.

In the waiting area, WuFei found Duo bouncing restless from chair to chair, picking up magazines and putting them down, and causing general annoyance in the others around him waiting. He hopped to his feet as soon as he saw WuFei, a grin rushing into place. WuFei's heart caught a moment at the sight and the idea of someone waiting for him. He shook the feeling away.

"Sally's going to look over the MRI results later today, and if she gets off in time she'll swing by for dinner. She says you look good otherwise but the MRI will tell us more," Duo rattled off as soon as WuFei was near enough. He led the way back out to the truck. They climbed in and Duo turned the key in the ignition. He let it sit in idle, warming up the cabin.

"Did you think about what you wanted to do before we have to go meet with Trowa?"

WuFei had nearly forgotten their scheduled lunch with Trowa Barton. He felt inexplicably nervous. He couldn't fathom how a friendship had formed between himself and the former Heavyarms pilot, he wondered that he might…disappoint the other boy. Tired of waiting, Duo pulled the truck out of the parking lot and pointed it home.

"What do we usually do together?" WuFei asked. Duo smirked, and seemed to consider his next words carefully. He let the smirk pass, and WuFei blushed at the thought of every possible crude reply Duo could've mustered to answer that question.

"I don't know. Different things. When we're not working, we might go see a show, wander downtown, shop, we've taken some classes together at the community center – that's where you got me enrolled for art. A few weeks ago we took a class on setting up a greenhouse and growing from seeds. You were making plans for your garden come spring. We started building a couple weeks ago. We could always work on that. Hell, we got a lot of renovation projects to work on around the house…"

"My garden? I garden?" WuFei knew some of the basics, he'd learned from his grandmother as a child watching her tend her flowers, but as an adult he had never even owned a houseplant.

"You don't remember gardening?"

Duo gaped just long enough to almost crash into the car in front of them. He slammed the breaks, and WuFei caught himself on the dashboard.

"Not remembering me is one thing, but you don't even remember your garden! You left the Preventers, you sold your bike, you cut all ties with everyone from the war, and you don't garden. Sheesh, just what kind of life were you living in Bergonia?"

"I was an accountant," WuFei said, as if that explained everything.

Traffic started moving again. The two boys fell silent and Duo reached for the radio. He fixed it on a talk show – some loud, obnoxious shock-jock making political commentary, riffing on the President, her counsel, he got on the topic of Vice Foreign Minister Darlian which captivated Duo's interest. At one point he started arguing with the radio, rebuffing the criticisms that jock lodged Relena's way. WuFei let his mind drift, leaning against the door and watching out the window.

"I'd like to go there," WuFei said.

Duo frowned at him, "Go where, babe?"

"Home. Bergonia. I want to go there to see…I don't know what but I know I have to see it for myself," WuFei answered, and as a distant afterthought, "Don't call me that."

"We don't have time to drive all the way out there and make it back for lunch with Trowa," Duo turned along the streets that still seemed an alien landscape to WuFei, "Maybe we can plan on it tomorrow, okay? It'd be a nice road trip. We've only been out there once before on a mission."

WuFei let the last comment slide. He didn't know anymore what to believe. Sally was right, if he remembered things one way and everyone around him remembered them another, whose memories were the right ones?


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you to the reviewers, you guys are awesome! Shenlong1, I'm glad you gave this story a chance despite it not being your fav pair. I wish I could be like that, I'm such a stubborn shipper, especially when it comes to 2x5. The trip to Bergonia should be enlightening. Duaimei, thank you for the consistent reviews! You're the best. I honestly like interacting with reviewers in updates, most reviewers enjoy it too, but I've also received criticism for it so it takes me some time to feel comfortable with it. All the chapters are secure on the cloud, and I think WuFei's trip will be entertaining at least. You went to the wrong apartment? That sounds like you had a long day!

Thank you to the readers as well. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 10

At home again, Duo made himself busy cleaning and straightening things. WuFei couldn't gauge if it was the other boy's nature or if he was anxious. WuFei picked a book off the bedroom shelf and sat attempting to read but Duo's movement made it hard to focus. For the umpteenth time since waking in that hospital, WuFei found himself wondering how he possibly got used to living with the other boy.

Not an hour after getting home, the vid-phone went off and Duo went to answer it.

"Lady Une, happy holidays! Not like you to make season's greetings calls," Duo cheerily answered.

"Hello, Officer Maxwell, where is your partner?"

"WuFei? He can't come to the phone right now. He's busy. Washing his hair…you know how he is about keeping it all glossy. I'll pass on your holiday cheer to him though."

Duo kept his grin firm in place and Lady Une glared at him through her silver-rimmed glasses. He could see her seething behind the carefully constructed emotionless façade she always wore when trying to be all business and under different circumstances Duo might have found it amusing. He knew Sally would have to report in on WuFei's accident eventually but knowing the good doctor she would've kept as many details out as possible. The memory loss could clear up by the time WuFei and Duo were scheduled back on duty at work, it wasn't anything Une needed to worry her pretty little head about – so long as Duo could keep her and WuFei from chatting until then.

"I understand that you think you're protecting him," Une attempted a different angle.

"I never think about protecting him, Une, I just do it. You know how it goes, when you love someone. How's your daughter doing, by the way?"

Une flinched at the mention of Mariemaia and she lowered her eyes, Duo's message coming across loud and clear: WuFei will talk when he's ready, and not a second sooner, and as Une would do for Mariemaia, Duo would ensure it. Lady Une used her middle and index finger to push her glasses up at the bridge of the nose.

"She's doing well. Thank you for asking. She was just telling me about how much she's looking forward to seeing everyone at Quatre's annual Christmas party. I do hope that you and Chang have finished your preparations for it, I fully expect the both of you to be there."

Une didn't make it to the top ranks for nothing. Duo had forgotten about the annual Christmas party in a couple days. Was it too much to hope that WuFei's memories would return by then? Maybe Duo could convince memory-loss WuFei to fake it for the night. Duo sighed, smiling a winning smile at Une. It might be easier just to come clean and throw himself on the mercy of the lady. Duo weighed his options right up until WuFei decided it was the perfect moment to walk in.

"Ah, Chang, I see you've finished washing your hair," Une said. Duo spun around to find WuFei standing shocked and confused behind him.

"Washing my hair?" WuFei wrinkled his brow but chose not to pursue that line of questioning, instead he greeted the woman on the screen with a terse, "Lady Une."

"I received a report this morning that you were admitted to the ER at Harrisburg Medical the other night and released yesterday into the custody of Duo Maxwell. Care to explain?"

Duo held his breath.

"Okay. I was in an accident the other night and released yesterday into Maxwell's custody. Anything else?" WuFei replied. Lady Une opened and closed her mouth a few times, rendered speechless, and Duo let his breath out in a barely muffled laugh.

She finally settled on a vehement, "You should have notified me immediately."

"It must've slipped my mind. As I understand it, I was a little busy at that moment trying not to die," WuFei replied.

"Maxwell…" she began another approach.

"Was not informed of my condition until shortly before I was released into his care. The only other person that knew of my condition with an obligation to inform you was also busy at that moment, trying to save my life. You're already aware of all of these facts. This call is a ridiculous waste of time. It's not like you to do something so tedious, so what is it that really you want?"

WuFei folded his arms across his chest, challenge written in his features. Lady Une pulled another fish impression for a few seconds before letting her emotionless façade slip. She slumped, shook her head and smiled at WuFei.

"Damn you, Chang. Fine. You're right. I was worried. I needed to see for myself your condition. I know I'm your commanding officer, but you're both dear friends as well. Finding out you'd been in a terrible accident through a personnel report…I'm sorry, I was beside myself. I'll be more gracious next time."

It was WuFei's turn to be rendered speechless. From the way he'd addressed Lady Une, Duo thought for a moment his WuFei was back, but the look of surprise from Lady Une's admission confirmed that the memories were still gone. His WuFei never let an opportunity pass to call Une out on her emotional manipulations, and in the aftermath, always reassured Une that her affections were well received, returned, all would be forgiven, and tomorrow they should get together for tea, did Mariemaia need help with her homework, how is the dog training coming along, and should Duo bring a toolbox in case repairs needed to be done around their house. WuFei's hesitation would give away his true condition, and that was a worry Duo didn't want Une burdening herself with.

"Une, sweetheart, we appreciate the house-call," Duo jumped back into center view of the vid-phone, "As you can see, WuFei is doing great. But he's still a bit foggy from the injuries and they've got him taking some painkillers, so he's not really in a chatty mood right now."

"I see," Une said, "That's understandable. We'll have to discuss the incident later then."

"Good. Great. Perfect," Duo grinned, "We will see you beautiful ladies Thursday at the Christmas party. I'm making your favorite, my famous peppermint ganache truffles."

"Mariemaia will be delighted to hear. I look forward to it. Get some rest, Chang, focus on healing. I expect you in peak shape when your holiday is over. Oh, and boys, if you need anything – anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask," Une said.

They exchanged farewells, and Duo switched off the vid-phone. He let out all the air in his lungs in a loud whoosh, leaning against the wall and hanging his head: that was a close one. He caught up to his pounding heart and turned to look at WuFei.

WuFei still stood in the same position, staring at the blank vid-phone screen as though working through a puzzle that was missing pieces.

"Not a lot of people in the universe can get away with talking to the lady like that, but you're lucky enough to be one of them," Duo said, frowning, "I guess in your memories, Une isn't a good friend, either?"

The answer hung obvious between them. It had been hard to define the relationship between WuFei and Une before he'd left the Preventers. She'd given him the second chance he thought he didn't deserve, a lot of mutual respect existed between them. But friends? WuFei chose not to acknowledge Duo's question.

"What Christmas party?" he asked instead.

"Oh, right. I'm guessing you've got no memory of Quatre's annual Christmas party," Duo said, moving towards the refrigerator to retrieve a cola.

"I remember one Christmas party hosted by Quatre three years ago. He made that disastrous night a yearly event?"

"You remember that party?" Duo said, a hint of color touching his face.

"I remember a party three years ago. I don't know if I remember the same party as you," WuFei said, taking a seat at the dining room table. He made a face when Duo popped open the cola can, "You're going to drink that so early in the day?"

"It's amazing how you can sound so much the same as my WuFei, and still have no memory of who you are," Duo said, plopping into the chair next to WuFei and taking a long swig from the can, "If we both remember that party as a disaster, maybe our memories aren't so far off. But seeing as how that disastrous night ended up being one of the best of my life, hell, it saved my life, maybe they are. How do you remember it?"

"It was awkward, drawn out. I spoke to no one until you arrived, drunk and belligerent. Heero and I took you out of the party. I left soon after that," WuFei leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest.

"So…you left alone?"

"Yes. Who else would I leave with?" WuFei demanded, "I went alone. I spent the party alone. I left alone."

A sorrow more poignant than any WuFei had yet to see in the other boy passed over his eyes. He took another drink of the cola and stood, pacing away from the table.

"I left with you," WuFei surmised. He'd known that night was the key, but it still didn't answer things. Why would he have left with Duo? And how did leaving with Duo that night get them from there to…here?

"We'd better get going if we want to be on time to meet with Trowa," Duo said, tossing his now empty cola can into the trash. He noticed WuFei's hesitance and smiled, "Look, we don't have to figure it all out right now. We can talk more about it later."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you for the review, Duaimei! There's definitely more to unravel about that party and WuFei won't be letting it go anytime soon. Here's the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy.

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Chapter 11

The drive to Kimiko's Café took them about forty minutes into a neighboring town. They sat in an uncomfortable silence, mulling over their own emotions and thoughts. Duo hadn't denied any other part of WuFei's memories from that party. It left WuFei to wonder what would possess him to bring that other boy home.

… _saved my life_.

WuFei stole furtive looks at Duo from the passenger seat, studying the other boy. Again. He had so many pieces and still not enough to fit together into a complete image. Duo muttered under his breath at other drivers, sometimes gesturing at them as though giving them psychic commands: move, get out of my way, go – the light is _green_. For the moment, that cheer he'd managed to carry with him through this whole ordeal, was gone and Duo's mood seemed soured.

Kimiko's Café looked cutesy on the outside, with pink and gold trim and a fusion of Victorian and Roman architectural design squeezed into the small strip storefront off Main street. Duo greeted staff by name when he came in and they replied to both him and WuFei with recognition, some stopping to comment on WuFei's battered appearance and express their concern.

Duo handled their questions with practiced ease, "Oh, you know WuFei, hurt himself rescuing a bus full of nuns and orphans hurtling towards a burning building filled with kittens and puppies while fighting off fifty ninjas. Doc says he's in great shape though, a walking miracle."

"We come here frequently," WuFei noted.

"Yeah, it's one of your favorite places. They make amazing tea sandwiches and these peach pastries you love," Duo said.

They found Trowa waiting at a circular table with a heart and owl motif carved into its base. He already had a colorful iced tea drink and a plate full of tiny sandwiches in front of him. Duo immediately grabbed a cucumber sandwich and stuffed it in his mouth before sitting down. WuFei remained standing at a distance from the table, afraid to step any closer.

Trowa hadn't changed much in appearance from his days in the war. His hair was cut shorter and he wore a gray shirt with pressed orange plaid slacks. His sharp features in youth had softened over the years, he was still lanky, lined with muscle and a barrel chest, most likely thanks to his gymnastics. He sipped at his tea, his expression blank as ever. He met WuFei's eyes, a smile playing in his features. Another unfamiliar feeling washed over WuFei at the sight of his old war comrade. Nostalgia, perhaps? Relief, in a way? Something akin to…happiness?

"You're alive," Trowa said.

"Not for lack of trying, it seems," WuFei replied.

"You shouldn't scare Duo like that," Trowa motioned to the chair next to him and WuFei took the seat.

"Grim Reaper would need an army of a thousand if he wanted to take WuFei out of this world and into the next," Duo said, strapping an arm across the back of WuFei's chair. WuFei considered the touch for a moment, before he decided to give Duo a warning look. Duo casually removed the arm as a waiter arrived to take their orders.

"A pot of earl gray, please, heavy on the bergamot," Duo said, "And load us up with another plate of assorted tea sandwiches – shame on Trowa, only getting one, he knows better than that, oh, and two orders of egg tarts, one order assorted tea biscuits, a dozen peach buns, and three orders of chicken pecan salad. Thank you."

The waiter turned a charming smile on WuFei, "And what about you, honey?"

"That's all for the both of us, be sure to bring two cups for the tea. Thanks, again," Duo interjected, leaning in close to WuFei to whisper, "That's the prick waiter. See how he's looking at you like a half-starved wolf?"

The waiter left and WuFei was startled to find Trowa watching him.

"I'm told your accident left you with a different memory of these past three years. I'd like to know what you remember of me," he said. WuFei could appreciate the straightforwardness of the other boy, he'd always admired the way Trowa could efficiently cut through a conversation to its most essential components.

"Last I remember seeing you was three years ago, at Winner's Christmas party. We didn't speak that night, we hadn't spoken since the Eve Wars," WuFei said.

"I see. You don't recall calling me for assistance the following week after Quatre's party?" Trowa picked up a wheat bread sandwich with a cream cheese red pepper filling and nibbled on its corner.

"Assistance with what?" the comment baffled WuFei. He'd never sought to rely on any of the pilots during or after the wars. He might've scolded them once or twice if they began to fall or lost sight of their mission, but he refused to depend on them to accomplish his own. The very idea of asking for their help embarrassed him.

"He left that party alone," Duo said, picking at another sandwich but not eating it. His eyes downcast.

Trowa raised a brow at that, turning his attention to Duo, "So you haven't told him yet?"

"Told me what? About our relationship? He's given me many details, I'm not sure how much I believe," WuFei said, frustration growing in him. He hated how much fun the others seemed to be having with his predicament.

"We're taking our time going through it all. I don't want to overwhelm him with too much at once," Duo said, ignoring his partner's outburst.

"I see. I'll respect that then," Trowa turned back to WuFei, "The others have all been concerned for your well-being. I haven't told them of the situation with your memory but, given the lack of communication from the both of you, they sense something is wrong. For now, between Sally and myself, I think we've convinced them to give you space."

"I was wondering why there wasn't a pink limo camped outside our house," Duo said.

"I would like to hear more about your other memories. Duo tells me you lived in Bergonia. An interesting choice. If we're to believe these memories are false, we can assume your mind created them, why would your subconscious place you there?"

WuFei noted Trowa's careful choice of words: "other memories", and "if…these memories are false". It wasn't in Trowa's nature to humor someone for their sake, he truly was considering the possibility that WuFei's memories weren't false, which opened the door for other speculations. If they weren't false, what were they then? If they were, why did they exist in the manner they did? Trowa's point was clear.

"I don't know that it would. I knew nothing of Bergonia before moving there in the other life. In this life, Duo tells me we've been to Bergonia on a mission. I suppose we could focus on the mission, consider what might have made the location stand out in my mind. If, that is, we're to assume these memories are constructs of my subconscious," WuFei replied.

"It was a routine intel mission turned out to be nothing. We were there barely five hours, we ate at a taco place that gave you food poisoning," Duo said.

"Of course, there is the alternative," Trowa placed his half-eaten sandwich on the plate, took a sip of his drink.

"Alternative?" WuFei flashed momentarily on his working theory of hell.

"That this life is a construct of your mind and you are still lying unconscious from your accident. If we work from that theory, that your memories are real and this is a false narrative, why would your mind create a life for you surrounded by people you no longer see or speak with?"

"An interesting idea," WuFei hadn't considered it. It sounded more absurd than the idea that this was his actual reality and his memories were lost.

"Nope. Disturbing idea," Duo amended, "Trowa, you're suggesting that you and me are just figments of 'Fei's imagination? Nope, and nope. I mean, are you trying to start an existential crisis over here? Sure, maybe you're fine thinking you might not be real, but I don't like it one bit."

That was when their order arrived. The waiter laid out their food spread, set a vintage China plate and cup each in front of both Duo and WuFei, and poured them some tea. He left the teapot in the center of the table and disappeared again. WuFei picked out a couple sandwiches to try, he'd never had them before – at least, that he could remember. According to Duo, this was one of his favorite restaurants, it seemed unlikely in the life he remembered that he would have even considered trying an English tea style cafe. He took a bite of the first sandwich, and his eyes slipped closed as he enjoyed the sweat and creamy flavor. He took a sip of his tea and realized Duo could not have been lying.

"Sally proposed Ockham's Razor," WuFei said, confused by his comfort at discussing this with Trowa.

Duo made a face, "Who's razor?"

"The solution that requires the fewest assumptions is typically the correct one," Trowa smiled faintly, "From our perspective, selective memory loss would be the best explanation. But from your perspective…"

"I have distinct memories from these past three years. It does not make sense. Why would my subconscious create those memories? Sally also wondered about my happiness in that other life."

Duo had been zoning in and out of the conversation but looked interestedly to WuFei at that comment.

"Her argument seemed to be that if I was happy here and not there, why should I want to return? But I wonder now, if it is true that I was happy here, why would my mind create false memories of an unhappy life?"

"Perhaps, to hide from an unhappy memory in this one?" Trowa suggested, lazily eating a peach bun, and receiving a sharp look from Duo that he expertly ignored, "Were you unhappy in that life?"

WuFei hesitated in the same way he had when Sally posed the same question. He'd never found an answer.

"I…I don't know," he confessed.


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for reading!

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Chapter 12

For the rest of the meal, they discussed other things: Trowa's travels with the circus, a proposed shipment embargo to the L2 colony cluster – Duo paid especial attention to that conversation but remained stoically silent on it, and even the latest development plans for a resort on the moon. Duo didn't eat much, and partway through the meal excused himself to the restroom for a prolonged period of time. Trowa paid it little attention, and WuFei hated himself for noticing those things. He found himself becoming too aware of Duo.

They said farewells outside of the restaurant. Trowa invited the two to his show later that night, and took a motorbike back to where the circus had set up in town. Duo stretched away whatever emotions that lunch had left in him, and grinned at WuFei.

"What did I tell you? When the quietest Gundam pilots get together, the conversation never stops. Throw Heero in the mix, and you boys can close down a bar. I swear, it's like you've got nothing to say to the world. But to each other? You got a language all your own."

"I…actually enjoyed that," WuFei said, startling himself. He looked at Duo a moment, the other boy returning his stare with an owlish one of his own, "Thank you."

"We can go to his show too, if you want. Give you more time with your bestie while he's on planet and in town," Duo teased.

As reply, WuFei spun on heel and headed for the truck. Duo followed after, chuckling under his breath. They started back towards home. Duo set the radio to an orchestral music station, played it at low volume. It started raining on the drive.

"It bothered you," WuFei said.

"What's that?"

"The things Trowa said. You were bothered by it," WuFei turned to look at Duo, to watch the other's reaction, "What did he mean at the café? What haven't you told me yet?"

Duo kept his focus firm on the road ahead. He gripped the steering wheel like he wanted to rip it in two.

"Why wouldn't I be bothered by him saying we weren't real and you're possibly still dying in some other reality?"

"That doesn't answer my questions," WuFei pointed out.

The corner of Duo's lip curled upward but it wasn't a smile. A thought occurred to WuFei.

"At the hospital, you mentioned that we'd had a fight. A fight that angered me enough to leave the house in a snowstorm. What did we fight about?"

"Same thing we always fight about. You think I need to take better care of myself, I think you need to tone it down about ten notches, relax and enjoy life," Duo's voice was tense. He wasn't being entirely honest and didn't seem interested in continuing the conversation. WuFei decided to let it be for now. They continued home in silence.

WuFei picked up a book and went to reading it in the living room, trying to squelch the thoughts mulling in his mind. He realized after about twenty minutes of attempting to read the same page that Duo had made himself scarce. There was nothing of the hustle and bustle around the house that WuFei was starting to expect as the boy's natural state. He put his book down and went searching.

There had been a few doors that WuFei hadn't paid much heed to on the first walk through of the house. They had been closed and he suspected bedrooms of some kind lay beyond. One of those doors was open now, and WuFei could see that it wasn't a bedroom but in fact set up as an artist's studio. The walls were lined with shelves fully stocked with different types of paint, pens, markers, pencils, pastels, crayons, charcoal, and just about everything else an artist could ever want or need. There was a desk with long, thin drawers underneath in the back corner and a bookshelf full of sketchbooks beside it.

In the center of the room stood Duo at an easel, a large canvas in place before him, a palette of paints in one hand, a brush hard at work in the other, and headphones, no doubt blasting music, covered his ears. He had changed into older looking paint covered jeans and a ragged t-shirt. His feet were bare.

WuFei gaped at the door, fully captivated by the scene before him. Duo was entirely focused on his work in a manner that could only be described as beauty in motion, transforming the blank canvas into a striking image. Each brushstroke was deliberate, carefully thought out, and when he moved it was with a decisive strike. The way Duo created his art was how WuFei felt when he trained or fought. The canvas was a battlefield, and Duo was a soldier at war once again.

It was the look on Duo's face that held WuFei most entranced. Duo described art as his outlet for his restless energies and the memories of war, so WuFei would have expected to find serenity in the other boy's features. Instead, it was a full display of emotion: anger in some strokes, sorrow in others, heartache and reproach, rejection and disappointment, and an overarching fear.

In that moment, WuFei could see the Duo that stalked into the Winner Christmas Party, eyes burning with fire and brimstone, practically frothing at the maw.

 _WuFei Chang_ , he had looked at WuFei that night like a ravenous monster, _Do you ever get tired of being the only one_ right _in the room? Hell, even when you're wrong, you're right. Fucking traitor._

WuFei placed a hand against the doorframe to steady himself against the rush of emotion swelling in him. At the time, all he could do was stand and listen, holding his drink in one trembling hand as Quatre tried to plead with Duo.

 _Shut up, Quatre, sniveling crybaby. Everyone is your friend, huh? Some friend. We're all thinking it, but no one's got the balls to say it. You killed the man, WuFei, but you're still Treize's plaything, aren't you? Toy for his ghost until the day you die._

Duo caught sight of WuFei at the door. He removed his headphones, putting his brush down in a container nearby. His expression softened into one of pleasant surprise, and the remembered boy from three years before faded from sight.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't see you there. Do you need something?" Duo said.

"No, I…" WuFei felt his cheeks warm, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…I'll leave you to your painting."

"Well, wait, what do you think? I haven't gotten the chance to show you this one yet," Duo waved his hand at the canvas.

WuFei paused, looking at the artwork. He couldn't claim to be an expert on art. He'd studied art history as a child, but he'd never cared much for it. Yet, WuFei felt touched by Duo's genuine interest in his opinion. He'd seen the earnest work and care that Duo poured into his art those mere moments before, and felt he should return that earnestness. In the painting, he could see the beginning of a landscape at dawn, people prickling out at the edges as though forming a circle in a soon to be realized town, the moon was still visible in the sky. The colors were subdued and dreamlike.

"It looks like a wish I once had for the world," WuFei said, he glanced away, blushing, "I'm sorry, that's a strange thing to say."

"Strange, no. Sad, maybe," Duo replied, turning to look at his own painting, "What was the wish?"

WuFei shook his head, "It's silly."

Duo cocked his head to one side, watching and waiting, inviting WuFei to continue.

"It was, well…I wished for the promise of tomorrow. It sounds ridiculous to say aloud."

"No. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing you would say," Duo wore a soft smile as he looked at WuFei, and there was the serenity in his face that WuFei would've expected while he was painting, "Sounds like the reason I fell in love with you."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thank you for the reviews Duaimai! I especially appreciate that you reviewed both posted chapters. You're so awesome! Here's the next chapter. Last week was hectic, so much going on I almost forgot to post. Things should be calming down soon. With summer coming up I can get some more writing done maybe. Here's the next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for reading!

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Chapter 13

It turned out that Sally had called while the boys were at lunch with Trowa. Duo found her message on the vid-phone and rang her up.

"How's he doing?" she asked.

"Alright. Right now he's looking in the backyard at the greenhouse we've been building. I'm trying to let him explore on his own, not crowd him, but at the same time, that's not exactly going about our lives normally, is it?" Duo replied. He leaned aside to get a look out the kitchen window at WuFei. The other boy had taken a seat on the bench that sat in the middle of where his garden usually grew, taking in his surroundings in small sips it seemed.

"I've taken a look over his MRI results," Sally said, "Everything looks fine. There's mild swelling on his left parietal lobe. After consulting with our neurologist, we think – hope – that the swelling is what's causing his odd memory condition. Once the swelling goes down, we believe his memory will begin to restore itself."

Duo let out a sigh of relief. They now had an actual tangible medical explanation for things. Swelling on the brain, it made sense, right?

"How are you doing?" Sally asked.

"I'm alright. It's been stressful, I'll give you that. We had lunch with Trowa, though, and that went well. Lady Une got your report, by the way," he eyed Sally and she shook her head.

"It wasn't my report," she told him earnestly, "Preventer's medical must have red-flagged the visit. I wouldn't have expected Harrisburg to process billing so quickly during the holiday season."

"Ah, I see. I guess I owe you an apology."

"One of these days, Mr. Maxwell, you're going to come around to trusting people," Sally said with a smirk, "I take it Une called."

"Yup, and WuFei gave her quite the tongue lashing," Duo laughed at the memory, "Sometimes, there are these glimpses of him. I'll think he's back to himself, and then it's gone, and he's cold again, and confused by so many people caring about him. I hate it. I hate the more I learn about these fake memories he's got. Right now, his memories are so sad and lonely, and I hate that those are what he thinks the past three years have been. I hate it even more because those are the memories he seems to want to be true."

"I don't think it's because he truly liked that life more than this one. I think if he believes he actually lived those three years then it's as if he's woken up to a different world, he's disoriented. His mind is having trouble reconciling the things he remembers with the reality he's facing," Sally ran a hand over her face, rubbing away the long hours of her day, "At least, I hope that's the truth of it."

"Trowa says that, no matter the memories, it's still WuFei in there, and he's right. At his heart, WuFei is WuFei," Duo said, "My baby is in there, we just got to pull him out. Show him that this is where he belongs. In this life, with us."

"Agreed," Sally replied, "So…what shall we do for dinner?"

"Trowa has a show over in Maricopa starting at six. I was thinking we could all meet at the circus, and after grab dinner in town with Trowa and Catherine?"

"An excellent idea. I haven't seen Catherine's knife throwing act in ages. It'll be nice to see those two again, as well, though I'm sure we'll see each other at the Christmas party."

"Great. I'll give Trowa a call. WuFei might actually be excited about it. He enjoyed lunch with Trowa so much he thanked me for it," Duo frowned, "Trowa said you both have been letting the others know to give us space, but I'm starting to think that might be the wrong approach. I want to surround him with as much love as possible, remind him how many people there are that need him here, show him how amazing his life is with us and make him want to forget being a high paid accountant in Bergonia."

"True. It's a good time of year for it. Everyone will be in town for the holiday celebrations, after all," Sally pressed her lips together into a fine line, her expression becoming serious, "I spoke with Dr. McKearney the other day. He let it slip that you came in for an examination."

Duo scowled, heat rushing straight to his head, "Ain't that a violation of patient-doctor confidentiality or something?"

"It was an accident on his part, and I reprimanded him accordingly. Duo…"

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it," Duo muttered.

"I know that you and WuFei fought the night of his accident."

"Are you trying to ask me something?"

"I just want to be certain you aren't using WuFei's current health problems as an excuse to ignore your own," Sally said.

"I'm fine," Duo repeated, "Don't worry about it."

"I have to worry about it," Sally said, "That's how it works when you care about someone. You worry about them."

"All that matters is making sure WuFei gets his memories back."

"I know, Duo, that's why I'm worried."

…

WuFei found Duo sitting at the dining room table staring into space lost in thought. He barely looked up when WuFei took a seat with him.

"I made arrangements to meet up with Sally at the circus later, we'll grab dinner with Trowa and Catherine after the show. She'll talk to you about your MRI results there. She said there's some mild swelling in your brain that might explain the memory problem," Duo said, his voice a low mumble.

"Are you sure you're alright to go out?" WuFei wondered, examining the other boy. Duo looked exhausted. The day had been long already, running around from the hospital to the town over and back again. Driving the forty minutes back out to see the circus show seemed excessive.

"Yeah. No, I'm good. Just thinking about things," Duo pushed his mouth into a smile, "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

"No. I will make you some tea," WuFei said, standing without waiting for a reply and going in search through the kitchen cupboards for a teapot. Duo whistled, and he gave the boy a glance. Duo was pointing at the lower cupboard closest to the fridge. WuFei found a teapot in there and set it up to boil on the stove. He rejoined Duo at the table.

"The party, three years ago," WuFei said, and Duo stirred somewhat, "Aside from our leaving the party together instead of my leaving alone, I'd like to know if everything else I remember is the same as your memories from that night."

"Sounded about right. But I don't know about the parts I'm not in. I showed drunk and belligerent like you said, though."

"You were angry, at all of us. You said things," WuFei faltered, he leaned against the table. His injuries were aching, he might've pushed himself too hard that day. They were both exhausted. Stress and frustration hovered over them like a black cloud.

"Yup, I did that," Duo conceded. He rested his chin in the palm of his hand, "We've gone over it before. You and I. We hashed it all out, and to be honest, I don't think I can go back through it all again. My thinking's not in the same place anymore, and anything I say at this point will sound like excuses."

"That's not fair," WuFei complained.

The teapot screamed from the stove and WuFei went to take it off the heat. Duo joined him at the counter, pulling the tea bags down from the cupboard over the sink. WuFei grabbed two mugs, and prepped them. He filled them with water and dipped an unwrapped bag into each. Duo helped carry them back to the table. The synchronicity of their actions gave WuFei the impression they'd done this routine many times before.

"Why does it matter so much?" Duo wondered, sitting down again and leaning back into his chair. He stretched his legs out under the table, his knee resting against WuFei's thigh. WuFei flustered but couldn't bring himself to ask the other boy to move it, he didn't want to disappoint Duo, not when he looked that worn down after spending the day trying to cater to WuFei's every need.

"Trowa might be right. Whether the memories or this reality are false, doesn't matter, they came from somewhere. That night seems to be the key. It's the last time I remember seeing you. Everything, except how it ended, we remember it the same," WuFei tapped the table, impatient because the puzzle felt so close to complete but those last important pieces were just out of reach.

"I was in a bad way, WuFei. I said those things because…because if I said them then that meant I could keep the attention on you and the others, and…that I could…I could keep everyone from seeing…seeing…seeing me," Duo lowered his eyes to the table, "Like I said, I don't have any answers that won't sound like excuses. I said terrible things, to all of you, and they weren't true. I was in a lot of pain and I let it blind me to your own. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you don't remember how sorry I am. I'm sorry that you don't remember everything we went through to move past those things. I'm sorry that you don't remember how much and how long I hated myself for hurting you that night."

"You spoke the truth," WuFei said.

Duo snorted softly, shaking his head, "No, baby, no I didn't. You said the same thing three years ago, it took almost a year for me to figure out how wrong I was, and so many months after to convince you of it. Please, don't do that to yourself again."

WuFei didn't know what to say from there. He'd spent so long holding on to that memory, letting it create a wall between himself and the other boys, using it to justify his and their choices and actions: he was a traitor so it only made sense that they ignore him and not want his friendship, he finally left the Preventers because he couldn't escape those accusations.

"What were you hoping for?" Duo asked, smirking, lifting his mug to his mouth to blow on it before taking a sip, "A way to convince me that I couldn't possibly love you because of the things I said that night and validate that this world, this life, is the lie?"

WuFei warmed his hands on his own mug. He didn't know. What was he looking for? Why couldn't he leave that memory alone? Why couldn't he erase the image of Duo's face from that night? Why couldn't he forget Duo's words?

"You want the truth, WuFei Chang? You are the strongest, bravest, most honest and loyal man I've ever known," Duo said, "And you are a good man with a good heart. That is the truth."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I been running around all day, finally got a chance to sit and eat, drink, post this new chapter. Thank you for the reviews! Shenlong1, I understand hectic...finals are next week, summer means field work for me, and I'm hoping to find a new job soon. Glad you enjoyed, and I hope things slow down for you soon. Duaimei, I'm always looking forward to your reviews. I'm sorry to make you worry about Duo! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

Thank you for reading!

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Chapter 14

The circus had pitched its tents about a mile away from Maricopa, the town where Kimiko's Café had been. Duo fussed over making sure they wore heavy enough jackets and layers of clothes. He bounced around the circus sideshows like a child, eager to see what hid behind each tent flap. A bearded lady watched as she fanned herself while Duo teased the tiger in its cage. Sally found them there. She'd bought herself a spool of fluffy pink cotton candy.

"Have you been here long?" WuFei asked. He'd been concerned they were running late when they had started out.

"About five minutes," Sally said, seeming to understand the boy's concern. She offered up the cotton candy. WuFei declined, but Duo ripped off a good-sized chunk and swallowed it in one bite.

"Should we head in?" WuFei asked.

"We're still waiting on some people," Sally said, giving Duo a wink.

WuFei shot Duo a questioningly look and he shook his head, obviously just as confused.

"I hope it's alright. I put out an invite. Turns out I'm not the only one who hasn't seen Catherine and Trowa's act in awhile," Sally waved her hand overhead, and the boys turned, spotting Relena waving back, Heero looking inconspicuous beside her with his hands in his pockets, scanning the crowd for possible threats, "I didn't mention the memory loss to them. It's up to you if you want them to know."

Once close enough, Relena thrust her arms around Duo's neck, and he laughed, "Well hello gorgeous," and returned the hug. Heero gave WuFei a once over.

"You still seem to be in one piece."

WuFei nodded, uncertain of how to respond. He and Heero respected one another during the war, and it had been Heero's words that brought WuFei back to the side of his fellow Gundam pilots during the incident with the Barton Foundation. However, the mutual respect never extended into friendship, at least, not so far as WuFei could remember. He startled out of his confusion when Relena embraced him with the same enthusiasm as Duo. She pulled back, grasping her hands in his, and wearing a bright smile.

"Heero couldn't rest until we received word that you'd made it through the night. We were so worried for you, WuFei, for the both of you. Please, be more careful in the future," she said.

"I will," WuFei found his voice. What other answer could he give to a request from a princess?

He and Relena were mere acquaintances during the wars, and he couldn't claim to care much for her rhetoric at the time. He had thought her naïve, if not a bit foolish. By the end of the wars his opinion of her had changed. In the glittering red and yellow lights of the circus, dressed down in a soft wintry colored dress, Mary Jane shoes, her hair pulled up in braids, he saw in her the great leader she'd become. She looped an arm with Heero's, and, still grasping WuFei's hand in hers, she beamed at her friends.

"Shall we, then?"

"Lead the way, Miss Relena," Sally said.

As they waltzed in, Duo slipped an arm around WuFei's shoulders and leaned in to whisper, his words tickling heat across WuFei's ear and neck.

"Do you want to let the princess know you don't remember her friendship?" he asked.

WuFei looked at the couple beside him. Relena was pointing out the animals to Heero, excitement sparkling in her blue eyes. Heero allowed a smile, one that felt reserved only for her, he gave WuFei a short nod of acknowledgement when he noticed the other boy watching. He couldn't rest until he'd heard word of WuFei's condition according to Relena, and WuFei sensed the same was true for her.

"No," WuFei decided, "I'd rather let them enjoy the night."

Duo grinned, pushing back the tent flap. His hand slid to the middle of WuFei's back, guiding the other boy through. WuFei bit his tongue on his embarrassed response to that touch. Relena and Heero followed through with barely a bat of their lash at the intimacy in Duo's actions. Sally only raised a brow at Duo.

Even during the war, when WuFei spent time at the circus with Trowa, he'd never gone to watch the acts. Now, WuFei watched mystified as people cheered and gasped around him. The air reeked of popcorn and sugary treats, performers flipped and twirled through the air in colorful sequined costumes, tigers were tamed, elephants danced, as a menagerie of clowns stumbled and bumbled about. Trowa and Catherine took the spotlight and it became quickly apparent they were the stars of the show: from juggling fire, dodging knives on the tightrope, and dancing through the air on the trapeze.

"He's holding back," WuFei noted, and Duo smirked.

"If they only knew what he could really do. Maybe we should all join the circus. Gundam Circus, wouldn't that be a fun time? Come for the popcorn, stay for the war."

"Instead of fire, we'd juggle grenades. Instead of knives, we'd dodge bullets," Heero said. WuFei couldn't decide if the other boy was joking, but Duo laughed.

"WuFei could swordfight with fifty clowns, and, Heero, you could pop bones in and out of place and jump from a fifty-story ladder into a pool with no water. I'd be the ringmaster, of course," Duo said.

"Of course," WuFei agreed, he could imagine Duo in a black tophat and crushed red velvet coat, managing to turn chaos into sheer anarchy.

"I would come see that show," Relena said.

"Relena, baby, you'd be in that show," Duo declared, giving Heero a light punch on the shoulder, "Taming all the wild animals. Give you fishnet stockings and a bullwhip. Set the tigers and lions on you, if they didn't fall in line, well," Duo grimaced, "Heero would shoot them."

"I don't suppose there's space in this circus for a retired Alliance soldier, too," Sally said, resting a hand on WuFei's shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile.

"What else could you be but our resident daredevil?" Duo said, with a shrug, "In a world of Gundam pilots, death-defying rebel with a cause, Sally Po, out-Gundams them all."

The others laughed, and WuFei couldn't help but stare, mesmerized by Duo as he eased into the center of his friends' attention. Everyone's mirth was toxic, overwhelming, and WuFei didn't realize he was smiling so much until his jaw started to hurt. This wasn't like him, to feel warmed by the company of others. At one point, Duo's arm went naturally around WuFei's waist and he didn't know how to pull away without creating a scene, so he stood there like that with the other boy leaned into him, and the others paying no notice as though this were normal. And for them it was, wasn't it?

After the show, they found Trowa and Catherine waiting outside, changed from their performance costumes into regular clothes. Catherine greeted them in the same way as Relena, with hugs given all around. WuFei, less caught off guard, awkwardly returned the gesture. He shook hands with Trowa.

"There's an Italian restaurant in town we've been hoping to try," Catherine said, "If everyone is in the mood."

Everyone agreed and they headed out. Trowa fell in step with Duo on the way to their vehicles. They exchanged a few words, and split apart again. WuFei and Duo loaded up into Duo's truck.

"Trowa wanted to know how your memory situation was," Duo explained, following their convoy of vehicles away from the circus; they were behind Heero and Relena's modest sedan, something less obvious than the Vice Foreign Minister's usual limo, "I let him know we hadn't explained to the perfect couple yet. Catherine doesn't have too many details either, but she's not nearly as nosy as Relena can be, she won't push if things seem strange between us."

Duo tightened his grasp on the steering wheel momentarily, weighing thoughts in his mind, before giving WuFei a small smile.

"How you doing with everything? You looked like you might be having fun back there."

"This…hasn't been an unpleasant evening," WuFei said. He felt conflicted. He'd always believed himself happiest alone, but standing in that crowd of people, being treated as though he belonged and was one of them, a valued member of their group – he didn't recognize the emotions it stirred up. He could still feel Duo's arm around his waist, the heat it swelled inside of him. He dismissed the thoughts. They accepted him because of Duo, that was the only explanation for these relationships he'd never managed to create in that other life.

The other life. How long had it been now since WuFei had driven home from the Christmas party at Hinkley&Duluth? The details of his job there, the faces of people whose names he never bothered to remember, his apartment with the empty refrigerator, and the cadre of restaurants he got take-out from each night, were all distant in his mind now.

Could this actually be his reality? Could this really be his life? Could this really be where he belonged? Here, with these people? Here, with Duo?

WuFei ordered the spaghetti, but no one stuck to their own plates, exchanging food, laughing and talking loudly, vying to be heard over one another. Duo stole a meatball from WuFei's plate, and at the glare from WuFei, offered up some of his pasta primavera. The grin on Duo's face when WuFei forked up some of the food was the widest WuFei had seen yet. Strange, WuFei thought, to be so happy about sharing food but he caught on quick, touched when Catherine cut off a chunk of her chicken parmigiana for him and he let her spool her fork with noodles off his entre. As a group, they decided Sally's mushroom tagliatelle was the best dish, but Trowa's baked ziti was a close second.

Heero, Trowa, and WuFei got caught up in a conversation about the nature of man, and while Relena offered a few ideas of her own, for the most part the others lost interest until it somehow morphed into a debate over the best tactical defense strategies given number of allies versus enemies on the battlefield which left Relena and Catherine giggling together at the corner of the table as all the former soldiers heatedly argued their own perspectives. WuFei noticed, once again, Duo didn't eat much dinner although he suggested dessert.

They all said their good-byes outside; hugs and kisses were exchanged. He and Duo drove home and got ready for bed in silence. Duo hovered a moment at the bedroom door.

"Good night, 'Fei," he said, and WuFei met his eyes.

"Good night, Maxwell," he replied, watching with an unfamiliar ache in his chest, as Duo disappeared down the hall.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: It's Mother's Day where I'm at, so for any readers that are mothers, Happy Mother's Day. Thank you to the reviewers! Shenlong1, I agree, things must be confusing and difficult for both boys. I think I feel a little worse for Duo, though, it's one thing to wake up and find that someone loves you, another to have your love wake up and forget that they love you. Duaimei, I'm glad you liked the circus convo, it was fun to write, and I always like playing with Relena and Heero - they're such intense characters in the show, it's nice to give them a fluffy moment, I think. FaustinaAurelia13, it's nice to hear from you and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

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Chapter 15

The next morning, WuFei woke to complete silence. He felt inexplicably alone and empty. He climbed out of bed, rubbing at his aching muscles. He wandered the house and somehow wasn't surprised to find Duo missing. There was a note pinned to the refrigerator: Went grocery shopping, be back soon.

WuFei took a shower and attempted to replace his bandages. He dressed in gray linen slacks and a white button down, and wondered when Duo came into the room for clothes without his noticing. He sat down in the living room with a book to read, but couldn't focus. He shifted chairs, moved to the dining room, put the book down and opted to stretch outside. He remembered living three years alone with no problem, yet somehow, after only a couple days he didn't know what to do with himself without Duo there.

Their backyard was large and beautiful. They had an outdoor dojo set up with a small shrine for burning incense. It connected to a small storage room for equipment off the side of the garage. The area where Duo claimed WuFei gardened was evident in the layout of empty plots and half-finished greenhouse, a stone bench in the center flocked by lanterns and a tiny dragon fountain, a stone-lined path leading towards the house.

To an extent, it reminded WuFei of the estate he'd grown up on in the L5 colony cluster. There were parts of it, however, stained glass windows and gothic arches around the dojo, twin gargoyle statues taking the place of the traditional shishi at the house door that were obvious Duo touches. Somehow, they'd managed to fuse together their different backgrounds into an elegant retreat.

Forgetting his stretches, WuFei examined the greenhouse. He could see how it was coming together, shelves for trays of seedlings, a row of planters down the center for older plants soon to be transferred to the garden. They had a system of pipes set up to mist the plants. He could imagine the kinds of things he'd grow.

As a practical man, he'd want function over style. The garden would have vegetables, herbs, maybe a fruit tree or two, and he recognized the barren trees amongst the plots. He thought about the lessons his grandmother taught him about what plants grew best together, which to keep apart, and started realizing where he would've set everything. He could almost see where the tomatoes nestled amongst rosemary, and the jasmine with mint and lemongrass, his favorite squash with…he paused, finding himself wondering what Duo's favorite plants would be, because of course, he would grow things for Duo as well.

A blush swept across WuFei's features. It was cold outside, he decided. He headed back into the house and could hear indication that Duo had returned. He felt…relieved? He dismissed the notion.

Duo rushed into the kitchen with his arms full of grocery bags. He stopped at the entry, surprised to see WuFei entering from the backyard.

"It's freezing outside. Where's your jacket?" he said.

WuFei opened his mouth to respond, shook his head and shrugged.

Duo sighed, "How you feeling?"

"I'm ready to drive out to Bergonia," WuFei said. Duo's eyes went wide. He dropped the grocery bags on the counter, "Maxwell, you agreed we would go today."

"Shoot. I know. I did. I completely forgot," he exclaimed, spinning round to unpack bags, "Just like I completely spaced until I saw the message this morning about Hilde bringing champagne over for brunch today. I didn't even have any ingredients in the fridge. Babe…er…'Fei, I'm sorry. I got to get a quiche and some pastries in the oven, take a shower, I still smell like circus…I should've put some tea on for you, too, I didn't even think about it. Let me get things going, and then we can talk about going to Bergonia, okay?"

WuFei bristled with anger. He'd played along with Duo throughout yesterday but this was the one request he'd made and the other boy was backing out of it. It almost felt on purpose, he didn't want WuFei to revisit that other life, to see for himself whatever there was to see. If this reality was true, what was Duo so afraid he'd find in Bergonia?

"I'll take myself then. It's fine."

"What? Take yourself where? All the way out to Bergonia? How? Your bike is totaled, and you're not in any condition to drive anyways," Duo argued, "We'll go, alright. I promise. After brunch."

"I can take a shuttle. I don't need you there, anyhow," WuFei said.

"Dammit, WuFei, why do you always have to be such a stubborn ass?" Duo demanded, "Don't you get that I can't let you wander off alone in the condition you're in? Running around to other towns!"

"I've managed to take care of myself my entire life without you, Maxwell, I think I can handle myself for a few hours without you," WuFei bit back, "You make it seem like I need you, but I remember being fine without you, I'm beginning to wonder if it's not you that needs me."

Duo lowered his eyes, heavy laden with dark bags. His face looked pale and he seemed small. WuFei thought of that photograph in the bedroom, Duo's ghostly appearance in it. He'd been hiding something since WuFei woke up in that hospital room. Lying, more like it. WuFei seemed to recall a distant memory of a younger Duo claiming he never told lies.

"Okay," Duo said, "I'll call you a ride."

…

It took a few knocks before Duo swung the door open. Hilde huddled on the doorstep, hugging a bottle of champagne to her chest.

"Sheesh, what took you so long?" she pushed her way inside, and slammed the door shut behind her. She held the bottle out to Duo, "I brought your fav."

Duo took it, looked at the label, silent. Hilde frowned, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it up in the side closet.

"Where's WuFei?" she asked, looking around the room as though expecting him to pop out from behind the Christmas tree. Duo finally met her eyes, tears glistening in his own, and for a second, she felt her heart stop in her chest. He turned away and headed for the kitchen.

"He went out searching for his life without me," Duo muttered.

"What?" Hilde rushed after him. In the kitchen were some pots, pans and mixing bowls dirty with half-finished recipes, and a cold pot on the stove, "Did you…did he…are you two…?"

She couldn't bring herself to say it. Duo shook his head.

"He'd have to remember our relationship to end it," Duo slammed the bottle on the counter, clawing at the foil. Hilde grabbed his shoulder, forced him to face her.

"Tell me what that means right now."

"He forgot. He forgot us. Not just me. All of us," Duo shuddered, tears falling free down his cheeks. He could wear a brave face for the others, keep the emotions at bay, but not with Hilde. He would never hide it from Hilde, "These past three years are gone. He doesn't remember them. He remembers something…something else. Another life, one without any of us in it. He says he left the Preventers to join an accounting firm – accounting! He won't even balance our checkbook! That he stopped talking to everyone, even Sally. And that night, Quatre's party, the night that changed everything, he says he went home alone that night."

"Wow. What?" Hilde gathered Duo into her arms, leading him into the living room to crash on the couch, "Let's start over. Where is WuFei?"

"Bergonia."

"What the hell is in Bergonia?"

Duo sniffled, rubbed his cheeks with the palm of his hand, "It's where he thinks he lives."

"In Bergonia?" Hilde wrinkled her nose. She tried to muffle it, but a smile pinched her cheeks until she started laughing, "Bergonia?"

Duo gave her an exasperated, tear-filled look. She put a hand over her face, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Duo, I am. I know this is serious. I just…Bergonia? Really? You know as soon as he gets there he's turning right back around. The minute he hears people sleeping on their car horns, gets cut off by some asshole in a red sports car that immediately slams on his breaks – because he wanted to be in front but didn't really want to go fast enough to be there, and then, he'll see some guy in an overpriced suit on his mobile push into the front of line at the coffee shop, claiming to be the most important person there, and WuFei will turn tail and run. I still chuckle every now and then remembering his rant the first-time you boys went out there," Hilde said, "How did he describe it again? Like 'someone took all of the worst parts of civilization and crammed them all together in this one little city'."

Duo sat up on the couch and lay his head on Hilde's shoulder staring at the stockings he and WuFei had decorated for one another last year. He thought of the easy smile that WuFei wore when Duo showed off his finished masterpiece. _It's the most perfect thing I've ever seen_ , WuFei had said in that genuine tone of his. They'd stayed up later into the evening, taking turns reading aloud from whatever book WuFei was reading at the time, eating spoonsful of gingerbread dough, because Duo never got around to baking them.

"Things have been so difficult since I picked him up at the hospital. It's like he doesn't want to remember. We had such a good night last night. We went to the circus, met up with Sally, Heero, and Relena. He loved seeing Trowa and Catherine perform, you could see it on his face. We all got dinner after and I thought…I thought…but this morning he's ready to drive out to Bergonia and we had a fight because I had promised to drive him out there but I forgot about brunch with you."

"You always could've cancelled. I would've understood, Duo."

"No, we needed to go over the Christmas preparations. You needed help decorating for the party, we got to go over those plans," Duo said.

"I love you, Duo, and there's no one I'd rather decorate with, but Quatre's got forty Magunac soldiers that can stand in for you if need be," Hilde brushed the bangs back from Duo's face, smiling down at him.

"He's choosing that life. For whatever reason, this one's not good enough for him. It was before he hit his head, and it's not now," Duo swiped at the tears tumbling down his cheek again, "He said he doesn't need me. That I'm the one who needs him. He's right. I do need him. We used to need each other, but what if he's right about that too? What if he doesn't need me?"

"You have to give it time."

"How much time though? When I do know to throw in the towel?"

"You don't," Hilde relaxed against Duo, "You don't throw in the towel. You told me once that it never mattered how the odds were stacked against you, how lost the battle looked, how close death seemed – no matter what, if WuFei was there, quitting wasn't an option."

"This is different."

"How?"

"Because that was fighting with WuFei on my side. This is fighting against WuFei. I can't fight against him! He never gives up. The guy once literally stopped his heart to save himself from suffocation," Duo folded his hands in his lap and glared across the room.

"You're not fighting against him, though, Duo. You can't think about it that way. You're fighting for him. He might not remember, but he _does_ need you. You remember what his life was like before you moved in with him. He was already five feet in the grave. Going through the motions every day. Wake up, make tea, wash the cup – the same damn cup, the only dish he owned, stop for breakfast on his way into work, punch the clock, pick up dinner on the way home, katas, press his jacket, read for an hour, sleep, and do it all over again when his alarm went off the next day. Until one day he'd wake up and drink a cup of tea, wash the cup, and put a bullet in his brain," Hilde said, "Would you really throw in the towel and let him go back to that?"


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Hi! Sorry about no update the past two weekends. The first weekend I was out camping in the backcountry for work where there's no internet or network connection. This past weekend, I was in California tasting wines for personal sanity reasons. To make up for those lack of updates, I'm going to post three chapters and offer my whole-hearted apologies. Thank you to the reviewers: Dauimei, FuastinaAurelia13, and Shenlong1! I hope you guys enjoy these chapters. Thank you for your patience, guys!

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Chapter 16

After construction of the colonies, a lot of business moved to the stars with laborers and much of Earth's natural resources became preserved for the elite to enjoy. Epicenters of business still existed, however, compressed into small corners of the Earth with concrete landscapes and towering skyscrapers.

Bergonia began as such an epicenter with information-based businesses like law firms, research and development departments for major corporations, as well as banking and accounting firms like Hinkley&Deluth. Originally Bergonia didn't have any residential areas, the idea was that people would live in the countryside and commute to work. After the colonies, competition became fierce, and people moved into the city to meet demanding deadlines and schedules. Bergonia grew into the countryside, and became a sprawling city with a population three times the size of the colony WuFei grew up on in about one fifth of the space.

In front of Hinkley&Deluth, WuFei climbed out the taxi Duo had called for him back at their house. Duo had already paid the driver and also made sure to give WuFei a wallet of cash, saying, "hopefully it'll be enough". There was also a piece of paper in the wallet with the house vid-phone number and their address. WuFei had waited outside for the taxi to arrive. He couldn't take Duo's silence.

Hinkley&Deluth's main office was a five story building lined with seven foot tall panes of black glass from the ground to the top of the tower where their name was emblazoned in gold. WuFei stared up at the building for several minutes, people pushing past around him in business attire, carrying briefcases and laptops, cups of coffee, and talking on mobile phones. The taxi drove off and with it left any chance of reconsidering.

Over a year and half ago, WuFei recalled standing outside of that building feeling much the same as he did in that moment. Small, insignificant, and out of place. As though the building were a blackhole that might swallow him whole. He had left his bike parked out front next to a meter and came back to a ticket. He'd gotten lost in the corridors searching for his office. He'd sat through the most humiliating orientation where he'd been called out for his casual dress: loose blue tee and white linen slacks, breathable and easy to maneuver in. Just in case. They told him he needed a suit, and he had tried to explain that he couldn't fight in a suit, but they didn't understand.

WuFei entered the building. He felt eyes on him at once. He was a young man dressed down in leisure clothes, a bandage visible on his cheek, a hobble in his step. He made his way to the front counter, polished black granite, swooping six feet across the room. A white haired woman with red lipstick wearing a headset held a finger up to him indicating he needed to wait a moment. She typed on a computer in front of her, and "uh-huh", "mm-hmm", "yes, yes", until she pressed a button on the phone and her eyes finally went to WuFei's. He knew her, he'd seen her countless times walking through that front door over the course of a year, but he'd never known her name. He'd head straight to the security point, wag his badge at the officer and step through their scanner.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked.

He hesitated. What had he planned on saying? He glanced around, feeling a sudden nervousness coming on. He recognized faces, rooms, he could imagine step for step the route to his office, but he didn't know anyone and everything felt strange and disjointed. Even his memory of working there felt out of place.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have an appointment?" she repeated, strumming her French manicured nails on the countertop.

"I…I was wondering," he pulled himself straight, balled his hand into a fist and clenched his jaw. He fumbled for his wallet and was glad to find his badge in there, where he'd always kept it before, and felt somehow stronger and sure of himself, "I'm an officer of the Preventers. I need to know if there is or ever has been a WuFei Chang working here."

He faltered a bit on the final words, feeling somewhat idiotic asking the question. The woman's features had morphed from mildly annoyed to at once respectful and attentive.

"Of course, officer, sir, one moment, please," she set to typing at her computer, and after a minute or two said, "There's no WuFei Chang working here at present, sir, but we do have a Tamara Chang and a Liu Chang."

"And previously?" he asked, shoving his wallet back into his pocket.

"I'll have to contact HR for that information," she said. She punched a few numbers, "Hello, Marsha, I have an officer here from the Preventers. He wants to know if we've ever had a WuFei Chang in our employ," she listened for a moment, "Oh, mm-hmm…sure, give me one sec," she pressed a button on the phone and returned her attention to WuFei, "May I ask what this is concerning?"

WuFei frowned, damn legal.

"It's an ongoing investigation. I cannot disclose any information," he said.

"I see. Ah…well, I'm so sorry, Hinkley&Deluth are fully prepared to cooperate with the Preventers, however, we cannot release information pertaining to past or current employees without the appropriate warrant," she scrunched her nose, her lip curling into an uncomfortable smile, "Do you…have a warrant?"

"I just need to know if he worked here. It's considered public information and thus not illegal to disclose," WuFei said.

The woman nodded, seeming relieved, as she returned to the phone, "He says he just wants to know if a WuFei Chang worked here. He says it's not illegal to say so." She waited a few seconds, nodded, and said to WuFei, "No. We've never had a WuFei Chang here before."

WuFei let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He gave a short nod, excused himself and limped from the building. Outside, he choked in large gulps of air. He didn't know what he'd expected and couldn't explain why the answers she'd given him left him feeling as though a weight had dropped from his shoulders. He composed himself, noting the concerned looks passer-bys were giving him.

He walked along the streets, searching for something familiar. He'd never spent much time in the city, at least, not in the remembered life he'd had there. He would go to work and go home, stopping at restaurants in between to grab pick up but hurrying to his destinations.

Hiding.

In his apartment, in his office. He'd hide in the most confined places. Keep his windows closed, doors closed, curtains drawn, so he didn't have to see the world beyond.

After a few blocks, WuFei's leg began to ache. He flagged down another taxi and told them Grenedier Towers. He knew the drive, watched the city rush by as he waited. He paid the driver with a few paper bills from his wallet and walked into the front lobby of his remembered home, brushing past the doorman – like the woman at Hinkley&Deluth, he'd seen numerous times but never knew the man's name.

Grenedier Towers was a top of the line luxury apartment suites. The lobby was lavish with a crystal chandelier and glittering mother of pearl floors. It felt cold and sterile, and reeked of hospital fumes. A concierge at the front desk eyed WuFei as an interloper – he certainly looked like one. WuFei realized, in those three years he remembered living there, he'd never really looked at the lobby. He'd never paid attention to the details of that place: several potted fake fichus, a pristine gold trim, the distant ding of the elevator chime. It may as well be the waiting room of a hospital. It didn't feel warm, inviting. It didn't smell of apple spice and sweet vanilla. It didn't look like a place where people lived. It didn't look like home.

He approached the concierge and received an annoyed expression similar to the woman from Hinkey&Deluth. He thought to show his badge again, but decided it wouldn't help here. The people that rented at Grenedier Towers were wealthy, or well off anyways. They were the kinds of people that could afford a house, but they preferred working, so their office looked lived in and their house was a suite at Grenedier Towers.

"I'm looking for a place to live. I'd like to tour one of your dwellings," WuFei said. He didn't know what he was hoping to accomplish.

"I'm not sure this place is right for you," the concierge replied, eying WuFei's bandages.

WuFei recalled receiving the same treatment a year ago. At the time, he threatened the man behind the counter with bodily harm and had to return later with a letter from his employer stating his position with them and his contracted salary. He'd never been good at less direct routes of getting what he wanted. The other pilots excelled at using subtler methods of subterfuge: Heero would hack into a system and plant a fake profile to be deleted later, Trowa would adopt a new persona, Quatre had his diplomatic skills and trustfund, and Duo would use his charm, if that failed, he'd just break in.

WuFei attempted to channel Duo, fixing an easy smile onto his face and leaning against the counter with a casual countenance as though he belonged there, as though he owned the place and everyone worshipped the ground he walked on – if they didn't, they soon would.

"I understand why you would think that. I'm a mess, right now. It's been a hell of a week. I just took a position at Hinkley&Deluth, you know, the large financial moguls – they have shareholdings across the galaxy, right? They scouted me straight out of an academy on X9-01873, in the L1 cluster. Not my first pick for school, I mean, who wants to go to university in space? But my father sent me, top rated business school, right? He practically had to buy a stadium to get me in, too. As soon as I touch down, I'm heading into the city to find a place to live before I start at my new job, this was a week before I'm supposed to start mind you, and some jackass slams on his brakes in front of me and I total my new convertible. My father can buy me a new one, but now I look like this. I got out of the hospital two days ago, I don't have any of my clothes yet, and I need a place to live – I start work tomorrow," WuFei took a deep breath, looked up with pleading eyes, "Could you help a guy out here?"

The concierge introduced WuFei to a leasing agent in two inch high heels and a pencil skirt. She took WuFei to the second floor where their model unit was on display.

"Do you know how many bedrooms you're looking for?" she asked.

"I haven't decided yet," WuFei said, watching impatient as she unlocked the door. They stepped inside the unit.

The unit was mocked up with new, untouched furnishings. A black leather sofa, felted violets in a plain white vase on a short coffee table. Aside from small touches like the flower, this may as well have been WuFei's apartment. Furniture not yet broken in, empty kitchen, the bed made with perfect creases in a modest bedspread. There were no pictures hung on the walls save a framed print of a famous photograph bought on sale for ten dollars from the home goods store. Nothing to indicate an actual person resided there. The smell, again, sterile and mechanic.

It was almost suffocating being in this place. Thinking of those three years. Three lonely years. That man from the Christmas party flashed in front of WuFei's memories.

 _I think you're lying. I think you are lonely._

Lonely didn't even cover it. WuFei had spent those years deconstructing every part of himself. Disseminating the pieces that made him who he was until he was all but gone from existence. When he died, who would remember him? Susan, his boss's flirtatious secretary? No, she'd move on to the next young accountant to start working there.

WuFei thought of standing at the Winner Christmas party, drink in hand, watching as though through a window the other Gundam pilots mingle with one another. That loneliness, it had started there. He could see them, he couldn't touch them, couldn't speak to them, couldn't be part of them. And then Duo showed up and confirmed every fear he had, that the wall he saw was real and they'd built it to keep him out. He didn't want a life in those three years, because the one he wanted he didn't think he could have.

"Did you want to take a look around?" the woman asked.

"I need to leave," WuFei told her, turned and hurried from the room. He took the staircase down, he needed to feel air pumping into his lungs or he feared he might suffocate.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

By the time WuFei's taxi pulled onto that familiar cul-de-sac, the sun had set and small flurries of snow were drifting down overhead. He paid the driver and stood on the curb, staring at that house, as the taxi disappeared down the street. He smiled, comforted by the sight of those snowmen dressed in familiar clothes, the 'Chang-Maxwell' mailbox, the absurd Christmas decorations.

The porchlight shimmered, a beacon on the doorstep, but the lights inside of the house all appeared to be out and WuFei's heart sank. Duo wasn't there. WuFei walked up to the door, finding the housekey in his pocket. Once he stepped inside, he breathed in deep the smell he now recognized as a mingling of he and Duo's scents. He shut the door behind himself and hung his jacket in the coat closet. His eyes swept appreciatively over the living room: the overwhelmed Christmas tree, the worn sofa, the endless pictures and photographs, those two stockings with he and Duo's names crafted with tender care.

WuFei moved to the kitchen, pausing as he saw down the hallway a light on in Duo's studio. So, Duo was home after all. A sense of satisfaction washed over WuFei. He smiled, decided to start some tea and let the other boy continue his work undisturbed for a bit longer.

The kitchen had been cleaned, a few pots and pans drying in a rack on the counter, the teapot sat on the stove. WuFei set water to boiling, and studied the photographs on the refrigerator. He and Duo traveled often together, some of the locations were familiar, others he didn't know. It was evident which pictures were taken before and after they'd become romantic. He blushed to see one featuring the two of them kissing, Duo's arm around his neck pulling him in, his hand curled in the collar of Duo's shirt dragging them closer together. He wondered what it felt like, blushed at the thought and turned away.

WuFei finished the tea, pulling out two mugs and teabags – oolong for himself, jasmine for Duo. He let the two brew a moment before carrying them down the hall, one in each hand. He stopped at the doorframe of the studio.

Duo was at the easel again, his village at dawn had further revealed itself in the canvas. He was leaned in close with a tiny bristled brush, putting in the finer details, his earphones in place blocking off outside sounds. WuFei waited until the other boy straightened to examine his work before knocking on the door. Duo spun in surprise, tugging the earphones out. His eyes widened briefly before softening and casting downward.

"You're back," he said.

"I am," WuFei confirmed. He held out the cup of jasmine tea. Duo accepted it, putting his brush and palette down, and using the mug to warm his hands.

"Did you find what you were looking for out there?" he asked.

"I believe I did," WuFei said, taking a sip of his tea.

"Okay," Duo forced a smile, "That's good, right? Right. It's good. I mean…you needed to find…whatever you found, and you did."

"Nothing."

Duo furrowed his brow, question in his eyes.

"That's what I found there. Nothing. There's nothing in Bergonia for me. There never was. I needed to see that for myself," WuFei nodded at the painting, "It's coming together well."

"Ah, thanks. I've been working on it most of the day," Duo said, mussing the back of his hair with a wayward hand.

"I apologize. I worried you," WuFei said.

"Don't apologize. I have to worry about you, it's my job. I named the painting," Duo told him, grinning, "Actually, you named it. Promise of Tomorrow. Fits it pretty well, huh?"

"It does," WuFei smiled in return, "We should find somewhere to hang it."

"Yeah, we can do that tomorrow. You should look over your bike tomorrow too, it's in the garage. Get an inventory of what needs replacing and I can put in an order with Howard before they get too swamped with government contract orders for the new year," Duo said, taking a few steps to the door.

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Are you hungry? Did you eat on your trip? I made quiche, saved you some in the fridge. I can reheat if you want."

WuFei stepped back to let Duo pass and he followed Duo to the kitchen.

"I'd like that," WuFei said. He watched as Duo pulled the quiche from the fridge and cut a slice for WuFei. Duo put the plate in the microwave and stretched his arms over his head, yawning, and leaned back to face WuFei, his elbows resting on the counter.

"What did you do in Bergonia?"

"Wandered some," WuFei said, shrugging. He put his cup down on the table and took a seat, "I went to Hinkley&Deluth and the apartments where I…at least, where I remember renting a unit. Walked around the area. Thought a lot."

"What did you think about?" The microwave dinged and Duo brought the plate with a fork over to set on the table in front of WuFei and took the other seat.

"Being alone," WuFei said, he took a bite of the quiche, "This is delicious, Duo."

"Thanks. It's Hilde's favorite. She was sorry to miss you at brunch, by the way," Duo said.

"I'm not even certain I remember who Hilde is," WuFei swallowed another forkful of food, startled when Duo barked out a laugh.

"I'll spare Hilde that one. I guess if you don't remember these past three years you wouldn't remember her," Duo said, explaining, "I didn't introduce you two until after we'd been dating a few months. Took her a minute to recover from that one, though, she admitted it made sense why her and I never worked out. I still think she never truly forgave me until after I introduced her to Quatre."

"Quatre," WuFei nearly choked on his next piece of quiche, "She's your ex and Quatre's…"

"Yup. They hit it off. Who would've guessed? Tomboy mechanic, and metrosexual billionaire. Kind of story they sell in paperback at the grocery store," Duo sipped his tea, smiling around the cup, "You'll meet her, again, at the Christmas party. We'll be getting in early, help with set up, give you and her a chance to reacquaint. That's assuming your memory doesn't come back by then."

"Is there anything we need to do before this party? Many people will be there that we call friend. Is there a gift exchange? Do we have presents?"

Duo laughed, propping his chin in his hand, "Do you honestly think you would let us get a week to this party without having all of our Christmas gifts purchased, wrapped, and ready to go?"

"No. I suppose that wouldn't be in my nature."

WuFei wondered what kinds of gifts they purchased for everyone. He imagined the other pilots could be difficult to shop for. Quatre could buy himself anything he wanted, and because of it, didn't value material things. Heero and Trowa were similar but for different reasons. Heero didn't value unnecessary things, so anything he could put to good use he might appreciate, and Trowa was transient, the less he had the better. WuFei realized he didn't even know what he'd purchased for Duo that Christmas, but there were presents under the tree and some of them had to be put there by himself.

Beyond the pilots, there was Sally, Relena, Catherine, and, of course, Lady Une and her daughter, Mariemeae, this Hilde person that WuFei couldn't recall knowing anything of. WuFei frowned, putting his fork down and feeling dizzy, as he realized there could be other friends he hadn't encountered over those past couple days. Duo mentioned Howard, WuFei vaguely remembered the poorly dressed older junk salvager from the war, would he be at the Christmas party and was his friendship with the boys on a level that required a gift? Just how many friends did WuFei and Duo have together?

Duo picked up WuFei's fork and stole a bite of the quiche.

"You're thinking pretty hard about something over there. Maybe I can lighten your load, you think about one half and I'll think about the other," Duo said.

"It occurred to me that I've never been Christmas shopping before," WuFei confessed, "Or, I don't remember having ever been Christmas shopping. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Not surprising. The first time I took you Christmas shopping was a nightmare," Duo said, "I lost you like twenty times in the crowd, and, at least one of those times, barely found you before you murdered a mother of five. She elbowed you in the eye and was yelling at you for getting in her way and making her lose out on the last of some Princess Peacemaker doll. Corporate crap toy doesn't even pay Relena royalties for ripping off her image."

"That definitely sounds like the Christmas I know and hate," WuFei muttered.

"It got better after I taught you how to move with the flow of the crowd, use it to drift you towards your target instead of fighting against the tide. You grew up on a polite colony, that whole 'excuse me', 'pardon me', 'coming through' crap doesn't work in the real world. By the time I got done with you, you'd blend right into the streets of an L2 slum colony. Also, you got to steer clear of the toy aisles. Luckily, our friends haven't popped out any bundles of joy yet, and Mariemeae's never been a kid at heart, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Your money's on Relena first, mine's on Hilde," Duo passed the fork back and stretched out his legs under the table, his knee, again, brushing up against WuFei's leg.

"Do I…" WuFei considered the oddity of his words before continuing, "Did I learn to enjoy Christmas shopping?"

"Hell no," Duo exclaimed, smirking, "Well, you'd never admit to it anyways. You do draw up battle plans complete with tactical maneuvers and exit strategies. I keep suggesting we do the shopping earlier, before the Christmas rush, but we haven't managed it yet. I think you like the adrenaline high."

"I doubt that," WuFei said, even as he realized it was probably true. he finished up the quiche and rinsed the plate off at the sink, "Do I ever cook for you?"

"Nope. You're banned from cooking," Duo said. He folded his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair.

"Banned? Why banned? I've survived on my own before, my cooking can't be that bad," WuFei replied, returning to his seat at the table.

Duo grinned at him.

"Survived on your own? Tell me, are we talking about your survival during the Take-Out and Delivery era, Flash Frozen Then Nuked to Flavorless era, or the brief, yet memorable, It Came in a Can period? I survived through parts of those terrible times, too, before I claimed the kitchen and instituted your ban by majority vote."

"Okay, fine," WuFei scowled, "You do so much around the house. Do I do nothing for you in return?"

"Well…"

"On second thought, don't answer that."

Duo laughed, "Honestly, you've done more for me than I could ever do for you."

"You keep saying that, and I think I finally know what it was," WuFei said. Duo's face fell.

"You do?"

"I've been thinking a lot about why I would have taken you home from Quatre's party after your outburst, about the outburst itself. You came to live with me because you didn't have a place to live. I got you a job with the Preventers because you didn't have a job. You were required to go to therapy, took up art as a way to work through your problems. You mentioned that it saved your life," WuFei smiled at Duo, smug at having solved the mystery, "I'd heard about other soldiers suffering from a similar depression following the war. Posttraumatic stress disorder, correct?"

Duo's feature's relaxed.

"Complex PTSD," he said, "Counter balanced your own uncomplicated version."

"My…" WuFei made a face. He'd spoken to a psychiatrist once with the Preventers following a disquieting episode after a case where a man had walked into a café with a bomb strapped to his chest and set it off. WuFei had suffered a panic attack at the scene. The psychiatrist had suggested PTSD, but he hadn't been cleared to know details of WuFei's history during the war and, thus, couldn't give a more definitive diagnosis.

Duo nodded, "None of us got out of those wars without a few problems upstairs."

"I don't understand why you would hide this, Duo. It's nothing to be ashamed of," WuFei said.

"I know," Duo shrugged, "But I want to ease you back into our life. Show you it's a beautiful place here before I let you see the warts."

"I see. I think I'll turn in for the night. It's been a long day."

"I'll join you," Duo suggested and WuFei paled, paralyzed in his seat, "Uh…I mean, I'll join you in turning in for the night…but to the couch. Not the bed. With you. That would be silly."

They stood and went to prepare for bed. WuFei scurrying around Duo, unable to keep the blush out of his face when near the other boy. He had made the choice to believe the story of their relationship and to accept this life, which meant at some point he was going to have to share that bed with Duo.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

The next day, Duo and WuFei relaxed around the house, a kind of armistice having settled between them. Duo seemed less on edge. He still bounced around the house, a nervous bundle of energy, but it felt less frenetic and more good-natured. WuFei chose to think of this time as "reacquainting" himself with the other boy. He spent the morning looking over his bike, a sentimental feeling settling in his chest when he first saw it. The only other time he felt that kind of love for a machine was his Gundam, even the sports car didn't compare. Perhaps because the bike had also gone through the war with him. He found Duo in the kitchen after he'd made an inventory of parts he would need.

"Repairing it is going to take some time," he said, placing his inventory on the table and retrieving a cold can of green tea from the fridge.

Duo swept the list up and scanned it, "You're going to take some time before you can even ride it."

WuFei's limp was less noticeable and his bruising had gone down. He felt his recovery shouldn't take much longer, but he knew Duo was right. Which meant he would be reliant on Duo for travel. Which meant he had to put up with that monstrosity of a vehicle in their driveway for who knew how much longer. In the peripheral of his mind, he also wondered if he ever left the house without Duo anyway. Having the bike certainly suggested they weren't always attached at the hip but in his memories of life alone he spent many, many, many nights in – mostly reading.

"What are you up to?" WuFei noticed several open boxes on the floor, three of them carefully packed with wrapped gifts.

"Oh…I had a thing to go to," Duo said, putting the inventory down by the vid-phone, "Well, _we_ had a thing to go to but I wasn't sure if you'd be up for it. It's been a busy past few days and you're still healing."

"I see. What is this…thing?" WuFei sipped at his cold beverage.

"We volunteer together at a local orphanage," Duo winced, shrugging, "We kind of do the big brother thing. Hang out with the kids, tutor them on homework, teach them cool stuff like how to ride a bike and paint, things like that."

"Orphanage. Kids. As in…children? Small, not-adult people," WuFei frowned.

"Those would be the ones," Duo grinned.

"We do this together?"

"Yeah. I wanted to do something to help out, pay homage to my upbringings. I figured it would've really helped me out as a kid to have someone like us come around, be caring and kind and a role model and everything. Maybe I would've turned out better, you know? Instead of a war hero, maybe I'd be a doctor or professor or nuclear physicist. I pitched it to you, you hated it, I pouted and whined until you caved and agreed to go with me."

"I see."

"And it grew on you. You actually, kind of, really like kids. And the kids love you," Duo shrugged, "I know you don't remember being a kid person and, well, they're doing a Christmas party type thing at the orphanage today, two things you probably remember as your least favorite things in the world all rolled into one, from noon to four. We got a bunch of presents for the kids. I figured I'd take them over, make an appearance, hang out for a few hours."

"And I would stay here," WuFei surmised.

"It's up to you. I have to go either way, I can't disappoint the kids," Duo said.

"I'll go," WuFei interjected.

"But you don't have to come…wait, what?"

"You seem to have a better idea of what I enjoy than I do at present. If you say that I like spending time at this orphanage, playing with children, then I trust your judgement," Wufei said.

"Okay. Yeah, that'd be awesome. I'm almost finished packing up the gifts. I'll get them loaded up and we can head out," a sly smirked slid across Duo's face, "You know, it was your turn to dress up as Santa this year."

"I'm not there yet."

"Right. Worth a shot," Duo grabbed a box and left to load it up into his truck.

They headed out a half-hour later. On top of five fully packed boxes of gifts, Duo had also grabbed two large bags of loose stuffed animals, a platter of cookies and a warm casserole dish. There was a fresh layer of snow on the ground, and small flurries falling around them. WuFei watched out the window as Duo balanced driving and fiddling with the radio station. He couldn't seem to decide on something to listen to.

"Is it typical for us to have this many things on our social calendar?" WuFei wondered.

"Depends," Duo settled on a soft rock station, "Christmas is always busy for us with everyone in town and we take the time off from work so we load up as much as we can into that time slot but things slow down in the new year after everybody heads back to the other four corners of the galaxy. We end up out of town on missions a lot, too, that clears up our agenda real quick."

WuFei nodded, leaning against the passenger door, and Duo smirked.

"I take it you didn't get out and about much in those memories of yours?"

"No," WuFei said.

Duo frowned, "Do you miss that?"

WuFei shrugged and remained silent. Duo turned his attention to the road and started singing along to a song on the radio. It wasn't much farther to their destination. The orphanage was in an auxiliary building behind a prominent catholic church. Duo grabbed the casserole dish, assured WuFei he would come back for the rest, and led the way up towards the dormitory building.

Several women of varying ages in nunnery costumes bustled about inside of the dormitory as small children ranging from toddlers to early teens ran about playing. They had a modest tree set up and some scant decorations. A table set to one side of the room with several plates of food. There was a bit of excitement when WuFei and Duo entered.

"Mr. Maxwell, Mr. Chang, you made it! We were worried we might not see you," a woman with wisps of red hair showing around the fringe of her habit called greeting just as a small girl, no more than five, ran into WuFei's leg and latched on.

"Oh," WuFei grunted, surprised. The girl looked up at him with a grin that was missing two front teeth. Duo juggled his boxes around a couple other small children playing around his legs.

"Miss this shindig, Sister Willa? Not for the world," Duo said, managing to get his dish to the table. He grabbed the sleeve of a passing boy with chocolate brown eyes hidden behind a mess of black curls, he couldn't have been older than fourteen, "Marcus, you mind getting a few friends to help me unpack my truck."

"Course not, uncle," the boy replied with a grin, and left to round up volunteers.

"Hello," WuFei awkwardly said to the little girl at his feet. He had the sense he should know her name and wondered how to get around his not knowing without upsetting her.

"Mister Fei, Milo says you wouldn't come back and I told him you promised to show me the next kata and you wouldn't say you promise if you didn't do it," the girl said.

"I see," WuFei glanced at Duo who had stepped aside to speak to the nuns, they were all looking at WuFei so he determined Duo was filling them in on the situation. He'd have to deal with the little girl himself. He knelt as best he could to eye level with her, unlatching her arms from his legs, "You can tell Milo he was incorrect. I came back. I don't know if I will be able to show you a kata today, though."

"You promised," the girl said.

"I did so I will," he scrambled. He couldn't remember what he'd been teaching her, and he wasn't certain Duo would know. A realization came to him, "You'll have to show me that you mastered the previous kata, before I can show you the next one. Have you been practicing it?"

"Every day! Morning and night," she proudly proclaimed, "I can show you now."

She stepped back into one of the initial stances of a kata sequence and nearly bowling over a few children behind her, but WuFei grabbed her shoulders to stop her, a short laugh escaping his lips.

"Perhaps not this very moment," he said, straightening when he saw Duo making his way back towards them.

Duo scooped the little girl up into his arms and demanded, "Nina, are you giving WuFei a hard time?"

"Never," the little girl said, throwing her arms around Duo's neck and tangling her fingers in his braid, "Your hair is longer. Will you ever cut it?"

Duo laughed heartily, returning her hug.

"Never," he cheekily replied. He put her back on the ground and told her, "Run along, Nina. WuFei and I got some preparations to make before we can get this party started."

Nina's eyes went wide. She looked at WuFei.

"We will review your kata later," he said. She grinned and ran off, yelling for Milo. Once she was out of hearing range, WuFei looked to Duo, "Nina?"

"Your favorite pupil. You've been teaching some of the kids a bit of martial arts. Nina is by far the best and most enthusiastic," Duo explained, "You gave her a nickname, something in Chinese – I'm not even going to try saying it, said it meant little horse, because she kicks like one."

"Xiao ma," WuFei smiled despite himself, "She has a lot of energy."

"I let the nuns know about your accident and that your memory is a bit shaky from it. They'll explain it to the kids," Duo said, "Some of the older kids are emptying my truck, putting the presents under the tree, which frees me up to give you a tour if you want and refresher on names."

"I don't know how well I'll remember them all," WuFei said, eying the number of children running loose. Duo slung an arm around WuFei's shoulders.

"We'll see how it goes."

Much of the bottom floor for the dorm was communal area. A kitchen, cafeteria dining area, and recreation space with a television and a few shelves stacked with toys, board games, and some books. There were thirty-seven children at the orphanage under the care of five nuns: Sisters Willa, Mary, Hester, Lin, and Tori. Of the children, Milly was eldest at sixteen. She worked a part-time job and planned on joining the convent in a year. Twins Marcus and Beatty were next eldest at fourteen and a half.

"…then you've got Lionel, Stacy, Timmon, the three over there are the Terror Triplets…they're not actual triplets but they act like it, Yenna, Lisa, and Constance," Duo gestured to the different children as he spoke. He ruffled a couple boys' hair in passing, mouthing to WuFei, "Roger, and Ken."

It took almost twenty minutes to go through everyone. WuFei mentally went back over each name and face as the nuns gathered all of the children inside.

"You grew up in a place like this," WuFei realized, looking at Duo as though it were the first time he really saw the other boy.

Duo shrugged, "I think Quatre and you are the only ones grew up with an actual family. Lucky that way, I guess? Got to be lucky at something. Who knows what Trowa's past is, all these years we've been friends and he's never said a peep. Could you imagine asking him? Sheesh, creeps me out thinking about it. He's better a mystery. Heero was brought up to be a soldier, never got an upbringing, childhood, whatnot. I would've been better not knowing his past too. Me? War orphan running rampant through the streets. Not worth hiding, I'm damn proud of my heritage. Made me every bit the man I am today."

"Alright, everyone, settle down," Sister Hester called at the front of the room.

The sisters had managed to corral the children, some of the older kids were holding younger kids in their laps. Sister Mary held an especially small girl in her arms. A hush fell over everyone. Sister Hester was the eldest of the nuns – eighty-five and still kicking, Duo had eagerly informed WuFei while doing their round.

"A few announcements before we get started," Sister Hester said, "The snow is beginning to clear outside, so after lunch we can get bundled up and go play. Mister Maxwell and Mister Chang are here, if you haven't said hellos to them, please do. Remember your manners, and please, thank them too, because they brought a special deliver from Santa Claus for everyone. Gifts for each of you to unwrap on Christmas morning."

The children stirred with excitement and Sister Hester ruffled a bit.

"Settle down, settle down," she shouted over the group, and the kids silenced again, "There's one last thing, most of you may have noticed, Mister Chang is a bit banged up. It seems he was in an accident the other day. That means you will have to be careful and gentle around him."

"Why is she speaking about me as though I'm an invalid?" WuFei complained in a hushed tone to Duo.

"If Mister Chang seems forgetful, please try to help him, and show him how well all of you have learned his lessons of patience and kindness," Sister Hester clapped her hands together and smiled toothlessly at the kids, "Now, let's get some grub in our bellies."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Thank you all for being so understanding about the time in took to get those last three chapters up! Duaimei, thank you for taking the time to review each of those chapters. I appreciate it, and...oh...yeah...Duo's mystery condition. Shenlong1, yes, it was an enlightening trip to Bergonia for WuFei - definitely gave him some perspective on things with Duo. We'll have to wait several more chapters to find out about that Christmas party...but it should be interesting.

Thank you for the review guys! Here's the next chapter.

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Chapter 19:

Duo and WuFei helped the nuns serve the children and get them seated before serving themselves some food. Inside of the cafeteria, they bowed their heads, Sister Lin leading them in a prayer before eating. WuFei remained respectfully silent, watching Duo, his head bent forward and eyes closed, his lips moving to mouth the words.

"Amen," they all echoed as one in the end and began attacking their food.

The food was amazing. Duo had brought a kugel, and WuFei didn't feel biased in the least as he decided it was the best of everything. Many of the kids went back for seconds and the kugel was the first thing to be completely gone. Afterwards, the nuns helped wrap up the kids in layers of hand-me-down clothes, some of which were too large or too small for certain kids.

"They wear whatever gets donated to the church," Duo explained, "In the past, we got bulk gifts that all the kids could use, or they could claim what they wanted – the nuns suggested it, it's the easiest thing to do and it's what they're used to. They get to choose an outfit and a small toy from the donations bin every Christmas and on their birthdays. But this year we got them each their own gift. We had the nuns get them to write letters to Santa with five things they really wanted and we got them one thing from their lists."

"That's dangerous. We've put in an expectation for these children. We'll have to do it next year, as well, otherwise they may be disappointed and assume that the mythological creature responsible for gift-giving decided they were not good enough that year for gifts. We cannot have them thinking they are bad, unworthy children, especially if they put forth the effort to be otherwise," WuFei determined, flustering at the look Duo gave him, "What?"

"You said the same thing when I originally pitched you the idea. You started drafting a charity program proposal that day," Duo laughed, "We mentioned it at a luncheon at the Darlian estate and of course, our two richest, most well-connected friends started arguing over who got to fund the program. Quatre was in tears begging to be allowed to do something nice for the children, but Relena won out in the end because she's got more public influence and can take it farther. We promised Quatre he could pay for the next charity. Mission Northpole will be implemented next year, Relena's been working overtime to get the logistics figured out, but this year the gifts are on us."

"The children will be glad," WuFei said, relieved to hear that they'd put into place a way to ensure these and future orphans would not be forgotten on Christmas.

"They'll be ecstatic. When you're an orphan, you just get used to sharing and not really owning anything outright. I mean, it's like: I needed the jacket yesterday but now my friend is freezing and, hey, I lifted a second shirt off a drunk guy passed out in an alley, so my friend can use the jacket this week," Duo handed WuFei his heavy coat, and grabbed their scarves so they could wrap up and join the children outside, "To be given a gift, something picked out specifically for you, it's almost unheard of when you're an orphan. The concept itself just sounds ridiculous. We aren't taught we're special, we're taught we're the leftovers that no one wanted. Nuns do their best, but they got limited resources and no one wants to volunteer at an orphanage, they'd rather spend their time at animal rescues cuddling kittens and puppies."

"That's unfair," WuFei furrowed his brow, thinking through his next question a moment, "Have we…had we ever discussed adoption."

Duo went silent and WuFei realized he'd managed to make the other boy blush.

"We talked about it. Decided our jobs didn't make us ideal parents. Besides, how could we pick just one to take home?" Duo gestured at the room full of children dressing in layers of tattered clothing, beaming and chattering excited about what they planned to do outside.

"True. It would be a difficult decision," WuFei zipped up his coat, and frowned, "I never thought about having children. It was always just expected I would have them," he paused, peering at Duo, "I've told you this before, haven't I?"

Duo gave a short nod, "Don't worry about that though. I like when you open up."

They followed the children outside into an area behind the dormitory with a playground. WuFei took refuge on a bench, he could feel his injuries more in the cold. Duo ran around the playground with the children, helping to build snowmen, throwing snowballs, and making snow angels. He looked truly in his element, laughing and grinning with the children.

Sister Tori sat down next to WuFei and they exchanged a smile.

"The other sisters and I are all thankful that you were still able to join us today, Mister Chang," Sister Tori said, "And we're grateful the accident was not too terrible."

"Thank you," WuFei replied.

"You and Mister Maxwell are always the brightest spot in the children's day. Sister Mary is convinced you're both actually angels," Sister Tori covered a laugh, "She can be dramatic. We really do appreciate all that the both of you do for our orphans here."

"I can't speak for Duo, but I'm most certainly not an angel," WuFei folded his hands in his lap, scanning the horizon, "I've done terrible things in the past, and I imagine being here is, in part, a way for me to redeem myself."

"The wars brought out terrible parts of all humans. Isn't that what wars do? You may not see yourself as an angel, but you are a good person. You've got a special gift, too, you've been able to breakthrough to some of our most difficult cases. Marcus came to us with such a rebellious streak, in and out of foster homes, lying, stealing, fighting, we were never able to reign him in completely until you and Mister Maxwell arrived. Mister Maxwell connected with Marcus immediately, but he's too easy, too gentle at heart.

"That day is still so clear. Marcus had raised his voice with Sister Hester, towering over her, threatening her. You stepped in and he attempted to fight you. In front of everyone, you put him on the ground and I'll never forget what you told him: respect is not something you are given, and it's not something you earn. It's something you give. This is your life and this is your home, you need to give respect to both because no one else can do it for you."

Duo had found a shovel and was moving snow off the slide and jungle gym for the children to play on. His cheeks seemed to glow in the winter air. Some of the other kids noticed, Marcus included, they retrieved buckets and insisted on taking the shovel to finish clearing the playground.

"It's good for the children, too, to see two young men who were orphaned by war like themselves doing well in the world."

WuFei faltered on Sister Mary's words. He'd never thought of himself as an orphan, but it rang true. His colony had self-destructed during the war. By their standards, he'd been a man, an adult, but he'd only been fifteen. A year younger than the eldest girl at that orphanage.

"It gives them hope. Hope that they can become something in the world, find a place to belong, find a family, find love and a future. And to see that they can be good people dedicated to something bigger than themselves."

"I'm honored by your words," WuFei said.

"The honor is ours," Sister Mary replied, only to gasp as a snowball exploded off the side of WuFei's head. They turned to see Duo looking just as guilty as the small boy he was holding with a snowball locked and loaded in his tiny hand.

"Sorry, he got excited," Duo said.

WuFei knocked the remained bits of snow from his face, and narrowed his eyes on the little boy, a smirk playing in the corner of his mouth, "Of course you know, this means war."

Duo looked questioning a moment before a playful grin broke across his face.

WuFei didn't have a lot of practice playing in snow. He hadn't encountered it before coming to earth, and after coming to earth, he never saw a reason to play in it. He caught on quick to forming snowballs, and with a few kids falling to his side of the playground, and others falling to Duo's, they broke into an all out battle.

The cold and his injuries faded from mind, as WuFei became enraptured by the game and the children's laughter. He managed to dodge a few snowballs, and land some of his own, until everyone was drenched from the fight. He stood across from an unarmed Duo, one last snowball in his hand, when the other boy opted to lunge at him instead, grabbing him around the midsection and knocking him into the snow.

They wrestled a bit, Duo gaining the upper hand when WuFei cried out in pain, causing Duo to immediately freeze, concern overwhelming his features.

"Shit, babe, I'm sorry, I forgot," he started, only for WuFei to cram a handful of snow into his face, head lolling back with triumphant laughter. Duo wiped at the snow, "Very funny. You think you're so clever, playing on a man's sympathies." WuFei nodded and Duo patted some snow into his face.

They sat laughing until they couldn't anymore, trying to catch their breath until WuFei noticed their position. Duo sat straddling him, they're faces close, so close he could feel the heat of Duo's breath on his lip. He blushed, lowering his eyes, and noticing the reaction, Duo pushed up onto his feet, extending a hand to help WuFei up. WuFei accepted, rubbing at his sore leg. The nuns were calling the kids in to shower, change, and warm up.

"Sister Lin is heating up some cocoa and apple cider. We readied the second shower room for you two. Leave your clothes outside the door and we'll dry them while you both shower," Sister Tori said with a smile.

WuFei took the first stall as Duo gathered up their clothes to put in front of the door. Once the water was warm, WuFei relaxed as it washed away the chill in his bones. He finished before Duo, wrapping a towel around himself. He paused at the sight of the other boy a few showers down, lower half obscured by the stall. His hand rested against the tiled wall, his eyes closed, his head bent under the shower stream, water rushing over his bare back. He had a tattoo of a scythe on his shoulder blade, a dragon curled around it.

WuFei stood transfixed by the image. He thought of the picture in their kitchen, the two of them wrapped around one another caught up in a kiss. He thought of what it must feel like, to run his fingers over that bare back, shaped with hard lined muscle and battle born scars, to trace the line work in that tattoo. His eyes trailing down, lingering above the point of Duo's body he couldn't see, imagining what was hidden behind the stall. His face reddened, his heart quickened, and he turned away, hurrying to gather their dried garments neatly folded outside the door and a first aid kit to rebandage WuFei's injuries left behind by the nuns.

Across from the showers was an area with sinks and vanity mirrors for the kids to brush their teeth and fix their hair. WuFei wore his pants but remained shirtless by the time Duo joined him wearing nothing but a towel. WuFei kept his eyes carefully averted, fighting the color threatening to overwhelm his cheeks. He had the first aid kit open on the counter and was reapplying antiseptic to some of the injuries on his chest and shoulder. Duo found his own pants amongst their garments and put them on. He took the bandages from the counter, and stepped behind WuFei, brushing away the damp black strands that clung to WuFei's neck and shoulders. WuFei steadied his breath as Duo's familiar touch swept along his skin, sending small electric tingles racing his body.

"That Christmas light display you mentioned before," WuFei said, the low, husky tone in his voice unfamiliar to him.

Duo met WuFei's eyes in the mirror, "The one downtown? Sure, what about it?"

"I was thinking," WuFei dropped his eyes to the counter watching distantly as he fiddled with the medical paraphernalia before him, a stammer entered his voice, and he felt strangely nervous, "Perhaps, we could go. There. Tonight."

Duo paused, silent, and WuFei stole a glance at him in the mirror. He was staring at a spot on WuFei's shoulder, his fingertips resting comfortably against WuFei's back.

"Are you sure? Before, you made it sound like it was the last thing in the world you'd want to do."

"I am. I'd like to go. With you," WuFei frowned, hastily saying, "Unless you don't want…"

"I do. Yes. Definitely. We can go," Duo grinned, going back to work with the bandages, "You'll love it. I know you think you won't, but you will. I promise."

"I trust you," WuFei said, smiling despite himself and a warmness he'd never known before swelling through his chest.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Sorry for another long delay in updates. I've had some busy weekends between plain life stuff and Father's day. It's been a stressful few weeks, but here are a few chapters to make up for it. Thank you for the reviews, my sweet, patient, understanding readers! Chicookie, I'm glad you found the story! Duaimei, it always makes me so happy to see your reviews and know you keep coming back, thank you! And Guest, I'm flattered, and I hope these chapters continue to impress. Thank you for reading! Enjoy the story.

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Chapter 20:

Leaving the orphanage felt hard. The children begged them to stay. Nina pitched a fit that she hadn't gotten to show 'Master Fei' her kata, and that he hadn't taught her the next one.

WuFei bent to her level and told her, "Xiao ma, a warrior must be patient. Great skill comes with time, you cannot rush it. I have made you a promise, I will return here again to fulfill it."

Nine grinned, throwing her skinny arms around WuFei's shoulders, exclaiming, "You promised, so you have to come back now! You can't break a promise!"

They finished their good-byes, exchanging more hugs with the children and nuns. They drove home in a tranquil quiet. Duo set some tea to boil and started work on dinner.

"We should eat something before we go," he said.

WuFei sat at the kitchen table, reading a book as Duo stir-fried some chicken and vegetables. Duo served the food with some rice and tea. He took the seat across from WuFei.

"You still impress me after all these years," Duo said.

"How so?" WuFei replied.

"With Nina. How quickly you figured her out," Duo leaned his cheek on his hand, pushing the food around his plate with his fork but not really eating, "A lot of orphans end up with abandonment issues, it's worse the younger you are when you're orphaned. You grow up without anyone to belong to, or rely on. People might come around a few times, if it's their job or their volunteers looking to get karma points in the universe, but they always stop coming eventually – job is done, they move somewhere else, or get bored. As an orphan, you just get used to the idea that when someone leaves, they aren't coming back."

"It means a lot to those children, that we continue to return there," WuFei said.

"Let's them know they're not just a charity case or something to pass the time," Duo confirmed, "Some of them are still skeptical though. They still have a hard time believing we'll be back again, no matter how many times we come back."

"Our jobs are dangerous. If something were to happen to us," WuFei started and Duo shook his head.

"I don't even want to think about it," he tapped his plate with the fork, "All we can do is show them that people can be reliable. That as long as their breathing, they'll show up when they say they will."

WuFei cleared their plates when they were done. He frowned at Duo's, untouched save for a few bites.

"Are you not hungry? You didn't eat much at the party, either," he noted.

"Naw, my stomach's just been on the fritz lately with all the stress you've been putting me through this past week," Duo stood and stretched his arms over his head lazily, winking at WuFei, "I'm going to get changed. I want to look nice for our date tonight."

"Date?" WuFei flustered, "Is it…a date?"

"It is," Duo said with a delighted laugh, "And you're the one that asked me out."

WuFei watched Duo bounce from the room, before shaking away his embarrassment and chuckling at the other boy's antics. He picked out a change of clothes as well. Duo wore a black long-sleeved shirt and dark blue jeans and WuFei had pulled on a red button down and black slacks.

"We do clean up nice, I must say," Duo decided.

They left just as it began to snow lightly again. The moon waned in the sky and several stars and a colony or two were visible. WuFei allowed Duo to help him up in the truck and they talked about nonsense things: their plans for the weekend, WuFei's bike, the party tomorrow, and so on, on the way there.

WuFei hadn't been to the downtown area of Danover often when he last remembered living there. He went a couple times for food or to buy necessary items at one of the shops, but he never spent time there or really looked around. The light display set up was breathtaking to say the least. A menagerie of animals and elfin figures lined the streets, hidden in alleys and rooftops, prancing across storefronts. In the central plaza was a giant decorated tree comprised only of lights. Lit snowflakes and stars twinkled off of streetlamps. A carousal and ferris wheel were running in the central plaza, and there was a stage with a band performing seasonal songs, a skating rink, street performers, and artists and artisans with pop-up shops.

Duo, with his child like nature, danced around, pointing out all of it in excited exclamations. He dragged WuFei through the crowds, looking in the shops at their decorations, and perusing the artists' galleries with wide-eyed wonder as he asked the artists technical questions about their work, "how did you get this stroke effect?" and "what colors did you use for this scene?"

WuFei found himself staring, as usual, at the mesmerizing young man. Were he with anyone else in that downtown scene or if he'd come alone, he would've been miserable, he would've found the crowd overwhelming, the individual people obnoxious, the music too loud and light display gaudy. But Duo had a way of changing everything, casting the world in a different light. All at once, the crowd was comforting, the people charming, the music merry, and the light display whimsical and full of hope. The entire world was one beautiful wonderland and at its center stood a single angel: Duo Maxwell.

"I want to show you something," Duo said in a conspiratorial tone.

He grabbed WuFei's hand and pulled him through the mess of people and various structures, ducking under tarp flaps out of the crowd into an area WuFei felt certain was off limits and weaving through a labyrinth of steel beam frames and electrical wires, they came into a place that was near pitch black save the spiraling twinkle of lights all around pointing up to the star filled sky above. They were inside of the tree WuFei realized.

"This," WuFei leaned his head back to look up and breath it in, Duo's hand still clutching his own, "Sometimes, when I feel the world closing in, the stress and chaos, anger and sadness, I close my eyes and think of being in space at Nataku's controls."

"It's Deathscythe for me, but same," Duo said, squeezing WuFei's hand, "We found this place last year together. Spent most of the night laying under this tree, staring at the stars and talking about what we miss of the war and our Gundams."

"It's funny to think we miss anything. It was war," WuFei replied.

"But it was also our life. The only life we knew, and those Gundams, they were the first time we were given a chance to have control of our lives," Duo took a step towards WuFei, "Destroying Nataku was so much harder for you than destroying our own Gundams was for the rest of us. It represented a whole lot more to you."

WuFei startled at that, flustering, "I told you about…"

Duo gave him a sad, solemn smile, "You plant flowers around that dragon statue in honor of her and the rest of your clan. Out of respect, it's the one place I don't go."

WuFei had wondered about that statue, and the plot around it that seemed separate from the rest of the garden. He let himself live in that distant memory a moment, to conjure her face, to sit again in that field of flowers holding her to him as she took her last breath. They never appreciated one another in that short life they had together, but she left her mark in his heart, a scar that would never heal.

"Nataku," WuFei murmured and Duo gave his hand a squeeze, "I never imagined I would tell anyone those things about myself."

"When we first started living together, we made a promise that our pasts would stay in the past. Who we were, what we went through before coming to earth and piloting the Gundams…I wouldn't ask about you, you wouldn't ask about me. Over time, though, the walls came down until we'd practically told each other everything there was to know," Duo said.

WuFei met the other boy's eyes, realizing there was more to Duo than he had yet to see, depths to his soul that he'd revealed over the course of their relationship and were now just out of WuFei's grasp.

"I wish I could remember," WuFei confessed.

The brightest of smiles lit Duo's face, tears shining in the corners of his eyes, startling WuFei.

"What's that look for?"

"Nothing, it's just," Duo ran a hand across his face, grinning through his fingers, he looked as though he'd dropped a thousand pounds from his shoulders, "Since you woke up in that hospital you've been acting like this…waking up here to this life with me was the worst thing that could ever happen to you. To hear you say that you want to remember it now, it's not your memories back, but it's pretty damn near close enough and I'll take it."

"I'm sorry for what I've put you through. It was never the life, it was never you," WuFei frowned. He didn't know what it had been. Looking back, he couldn't fathom why he believed this could've been hell. Hell was the other life, living alone and apart from this person.

"Come on, let's go get some hot cocoa."

Moments later, WuFei sat on a bench watching people ice skate and waiting as Duo bought their drinks. He leaned heavy back against the bench, reveling in the memories of those past few days. He thought of lunch with Trowa, the circus, seeing Relena and Heero, Catherine, Sally, watching Duo paint or cook, listening to him bustle around the house – the comforting sounds of his presence, the orphanage, and there was still more to come. This was his life, he decided, this beautiful life belonged to him. He closed his eyes and prayed: if this is the false reality, a dream, please don't ever let me wake up.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Duo returned with the cocoa, sitting next to WuFei and handing over one of the drinks. He warmed his hands around his own.

"It's too bad you've got the bum leg. Ice skating would be a great way to round out this perfect day," Duo said.

"It has been perfect," WuFei agreed, and Duo gave him a sly look.

"You want to play 'where were they when'?"

"What's that?" WuFei wrinkled his brow. Duo leaned his shoulder against WuFei's, speaking low so that they had to sit close to one another.

"It's our favorite people watching game. We pick out someone in the crowd and try to figure out where they were when some big historical event was happening. Here, I'll show you," Duo pointed out a young man lacing up his skates across the way, he had dark curls and a freckle filled face, he looked about seventeen, "You start with the question. Where was he when…Heero self-destructed during the Eve Wars."

WuFei gave Duo a bewildered look, "This is morbid."

"No, give it a chance," Duo insisted, and WuFei scowled but nodded, "Right, typically, whoever asked the question doesn't answer it but I'll go first. Where was he? Where was he…where was he…? School. He was running late for school. His alarm didn't go off and he couldn't find his homework. He ran out the front door, chasing after his bus but he completely missed it. He started walking and he found a puppy, on the side of the road. It was hurt. He completely forgot school, wrapped it up in his shirt and took it to the vet. The doctor was able to save its life and he took the puppy to class to explain to his teacher what happened. Turned out his teacher loves dogs. She adopted the puppy and named it after the student that saved its life."

"I see," WuFei sighed, "Creating new positive associations for traumatizing memories."

"Sure, that's the psychobabble explanation. It's also just fun to make up stories about strangers," Duo said, "Want to try?"

"I don't know if I can," WuFei frowned.

"Come on. You're really good at this game. I'll do another one, you pick the person out and ask the question," Duo insisted.

"Alright, I'll try," WuFei scanned the crowd. He spotted an older woman in a red coat and hat and pointed her out, "Where was she when…when we returned to space for the first time since Operation Meteor, leaving Quatre behind to hold our position."

Duo took a moment to think about it, "She was celebrating her thirtieth wedding anniversary with her husband. He took her to dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town."

"Is that all they did?"

"Nope. They went out dancing afterwards and were out all night. They came back home feeling like teenagers again and stayed in bed the entire next day."

"That's very good," WuFei took a sip of his cocoa, it warmed its way down his throat, "I'll try one now."

"Okay, let me see…" Duo peered at the crowd, tapping a finger to his chin thoughtfully. He pointed to a small child running around the Christmas lights in wool stockings and a starched dress. She couldn't have been older than three or four, "Where was she when they shut off our oxygen on the moon base?"

WuFei made a face, "That's not fair. She probably wasn't even born yet."

"That's not how the game is played," Duo said, resting his elbow up on the park bench and looking smug. WuFei scowled, but narrowed his eyes on the little girl, thinking it through.

"She was a thought. In her mother's mind," he started, picking out his words with care, "Her mother had just met who she thought to be the man of her dreams. But he was a soldier, called away to the battlefield. She promised to wait for him. She thought he'd been lost after the attack on Luxemburg, he'd been listed a casualty, and she swore she'd never marry. After the final ceasefire, he appeared on her doorstep. It turned out he'd been admitted as a John Doe at a nearby hospital, came to a week later to rejoin the fight. They wed that day and were soon pregnant with that small child."

"Didn't I say you were good at this? It's all the books you read," Duo grinned.

They continued to play into the evening, taking turns pointing out people in the crowd and telling one another stories. Sometimes the stories were epic romances, slice of life, or just funny nonsense. A seven year old boy had learned to tie his shoes when White Fang entered the battlefield, a man became a father of triplets the night WuFei lost his first duel to Treize, and an elderly couple became engaged the day the Gundam pilots accidentally blew up a shuttle of the Alliance's pacifist leaders. They laughed and joked, and at one point, Duo took WuFei's hand, their fingers entwined and he held it the entire time, their foreheads nearly touching as they told each other about the lives of strangers.

It was late in the evening when they returned home in good spirits, that fell into a melancholy when they separated for bed.

"I had a good time," WuFei said, "Thank you."

"Anytime," Duo winked, "Good night, Fei."

"Good night, Duo."

Duo lay back on the couch, he held his hand, the one that had held WuFei's all night, over himself staring at it. He sighed, curling his fingers and letting the hand fall gentle to his chest.

They could make it, he realized. It wasn't a fluke the first time, it wasn't sheer, dumb luck.

He glanced up at the sound of a soft shuffle from the hall, his heart catching in his throat.

WuFei stood at the entryway, his hand rested on the wall holding himself up, his eyes locked on Duo's. His cheeks were flushed, his chest rose and fell as though he were trying to catch his breath, his lips were slightly parted. Those days passed between them, the agony and uncertainty. The loss and panic. Every look, every touch, that needed to be analyzed and understood, the longing and want. WuFei wanted to see those bare shoulders again, to feel that touch on his skin, lingering warm and light. He wanted to smell that scent of apple spice from the source, wanted to know the taste.

In slow movements, so as not to startle the other boy, Duo sat up and stood from the couch. He took short strides, his eyes never leaving WuFei's, as he crossed the room. He knew, he hoped he knew, what that look meant. His heart beat increased, excitement growing in him, as the other boy's eyes softened, moving down to examine his mouth, his chest, sweeping over his body, and back up again wearing an expression aching with obvious want and fear until Duo stood over him inches between them.

Their breath was the only sound.

WuFei moved forward, it felt like eternity, before his lips touched Duo's, soft and barely there, chaste, sweet, simple, and he pulled back again, studying Duo's reaction before moving forward again to capture one another in a second kiss. Duo's hand came up to cup WuFei's cheek, WuFei's hand curled in the fabric of Duo's shirt at his hip. The chastity was gone, replaced with pent up passion. Their lips parted and Duo's tongue moved in just to tease. They pulled apart, breathless, their foreheads rested together.

Hand still at Duo's hip, now slipping beneath the fabric to find warm flesh and the hard feel of muscle and bone, WuFei held the other boy's gaze, stepping back towards the bedroom. Duo caught on quick, leading the way as he locked WuFei in another kiss. They reached the bed and Duo put his knee up on the mattress, guiding them back onto it without breaking their hold on one another.

WuFei felt a strange comfort in the weight of Duo on top of him. They went no further than kisses that night, but they did discard their shirts and explore one another. Duo knew where to put his hands to bring out the best reactions in WuFei, but for WuFei it felt all new. He traced his fingers over every available inch of Duo's exposed skin, taking especial care of old scars and savoring each passing second.

Kissing Duo, touching him in that intimate way, felt better than WuFei could've imagined.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

They lay together in the morning. Duo's arms wrapped around WuFei's midsection, chin resting on his chest looking up at WuFei with loving eyes and his perfect, boyish grin, as WuFei's hands studied the contours of Duo's face.

"How could I forget this smile?" he wondered.

"That's what I'm saying," Duo teased, pressing a kiss to WuFei's fingers as they each brushed across his lips. WuFei pulled him up by the shoulders, their mouths crashing together and after Duo buried his face in WuFei's collar, his breath tickling the skin there in an irrepressibly pleasant way.

"Before, I couldn't have imagined you as a part of my life, and now I can't imagine a life without you," WuFei said, "I keep wondering how. How did we come to be together? How did we fall in love the first time? How did you fall in love with someone like me?"

"How could I not?" Duo replied, dropping kisses across WuFei's chest and nuzzling his neck, "I always wondered how you could love me…but me love you? I think, I'd always been in awe of you before. I might've had a small crush during the war, you were so aloof though. There one second, gone the next. After living with you, getting to know you, you're passionate, unwavering, smart, and caring, loving you came easy and once I started, I knew I'd never stop. But you loving me didn't make sense at all. How could I get so lucky, for someone like you to love me?"

"But you're the easy one to love," WuFei argued, and then flustered at his own words, turning his focus to absently memorizing the different details of Duo's body, "People are drawn to you, everywhere we go they're eager to be close to you, listen to what you have to say, laugh with you, enjoy your company. You're kind and generous, but it's more than that, you see such beauty in the world that the world is made more beautiful by you."

"I guess that settles it," Duo smirked, pressing a kiss to WuFei's lips, "We're both amazing, loveable guys."

"Before, when we first…who was the first one to…" WuFei couldn't find the words to express his question but Duo understood, propping himself up on an elbow.

"Who kissed who first? Now there's a debate for the ages. We disagree on who started it," Duo said, "You tell people that I imposed myself on you, but my defense is rock solid. I would never kiss you first. Don't get me wrong, it would not be for lack of want, because, hell, I spent weeks, months even, wanting to kiss you and never acting on it. I like my head firmly attached to my shoulders and I knew if I was wrong and you didn't feel the same, you would remove it."

"A fair assumption."

"You kissed me first this time," Duo said, dotting kisses up WuFei cheek, "That surprised me."

"It surprised me," Wufei returned, catching hold of Duo's face in his hands and drawing him into another kiss, "I'm glad that I did it though. I think I could do this for the rest of my life."

"You can. I would support it, one hundred percent," Duo teased.

"In my memories, of that night, that Christmas three years ago, I let you leave the party," WuFei said and Duo frowned, lowering his eyes.

"Yeah."

"It's strange, because I do remember thinking about offering to drive you home. I knew that you were drunk, and in bad shape. But I didn't. At least, I remember not doing it," WuFei's brow drew together, and he ran his hands along Duo's arm and shoulder, brushing hair that had come loose from the braid out of Duo's face, "Those things you'd said…I thought I'd deserved them. I deserved your hatred. I deserved all of their hatred. I deserved to be alone."

Duo caught WuFei's hand, entwined their fingers, pressing kisses to WuFei's cheeks, forehead, nose, lips, eye lids. He looked at WuFei with a severe expression, "But you didn't. What you deserved is this here. You deserve to be here with me, and to be loved by them. Our lives wouldn't be complete without you. My life wouldn't be…it wouldn't _be_ without you. You gave me a reason to fight, to keep fighting. You always did, even during the war, and you still always do. I'll love you forever for it, until I draw my last breath…and even after that, until the end of eternity."

"I think it's reasonable to assume I feel the same," WuFei replied.

"We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Let's get some sleep, okay?" Duo said, curling up comfortably next to WuFei, "I might get some rest tonight being back in my bed."

WuFei relaxed into Duo's embrace, comfortable tangled up around the other boy and they both drifted into sleep.

WuFei woke before Duo the next morning. He realized it was the first time since the accident, and with a touch of guilt that it was probably because sleeping on the couch was so uncomfortable. The stress of those past few days likely kept Duo awake, as well. Exhaustion had been evident in his features.

Duo slept with his arm wrapped firm around WuFei's waist, his face buried against WuFei's shoulder. WuFei allowed the thought that Duo looked cute sleeping, innocent and at peace. In the low light of morning, he appeared almost angelic.

For several tens of minutes WuFei lay still, watching Duo. How had it only been four days since he'd come home from the hospital. Four days since he'd thought he lived in Bergonia, alone, no friends or family, a job he hated in a city he hated in an apartment he hated. Four days is all it took for him to fall head over heels for Duo. He could believe now that he took Duo home from the Winner Christmas Party, that he'd convinced Duo to live with him, that he'd helped Duo find a job and get help with his struggles after the war, and that they fell for one another. Of course he did. Why wouldn't he?

The thought of watching Duo leave that party alone ached through WuFei, the somber look in Duo's eyes, hiding something, anger masking a deeper pain.

 _I was in a bad way…I said those things…because if I said them then that meant I could keep the attention on you and the others, and… I could keep everyone from…seeing me_

WuFei pushed the hair back from Duo's face and brushed a kiss to his forehead. He saw Duo now, and he couldn't be more grateful of it. Duo stirred some, his eyes fluttered open, closed again and a smile warmed his features, kicking WuFei's heartbeat up a notch.

"Morning," he whispered.

"Good morning. I didn't mean to wake you," WuFei said.

"S'okay. We should probably get up soon anyway," Duo replied, groaning as he shifted his body, stretching the sleep out of his muscles. He lifted himself up and crashed a kiss to WuFei's mouth, and then rolled onto his back to blink at the ceiling, "You sleep okay?"

"Better than I have in a long time," WuFei confessed.

"Yeah, me too," Duo gave him a lopsided grin. He sat up and WuFei followed suit.

"What time do we have to be at the Winner estate?"

"I told Hilde about noon. I've got to prep some food before we go. Want to help?"

"I thought I was banned from cooking," WuFei pointed out.

"Sometimes I let you whisk things," Duo said, giving WuFei a wink. He headed to the closet for a change of clothes, and WuFei plucked their discarded garments from off the floor where they left them to place in the laundry basket.

In the kitchen Duo made them a light breakfast as WuFei brewed some tea. After they ate, Duo starting working on several treats for the party. He'd had some cookie doughs and truffle fillings readied in the freezer already. He set WuFei to work cutting some vegetables for a stuffing.

It took a few hours for them to finish everything: a few appetizers, a tray of cookies, truffles, peanut brittle and cranberry almond bark. Duo packed the food in containers for travel. He and WuFei packed up the presents stored in their closet into boxes. They changed for the day and loaded up the truck. Throughout, Duo was playful, taking every opportunity to show WuFei affection with not-unwelcome small touches, and kisses.

It was an hour drive to the Winner estate. The building was modest considering Quatre's wealth, only eight bedrooms. It had an open air feel with hints of Persian architecture. WuFei's last memories of being at that place were not pleasant. He focused on Duo's hand wrapped snug around his own. It's different this time, he reminded himself.

Duo parked in the courtyard where they were met by an older man wearing a fancy black suit. He bowed to them in greeting.

"Miss Hilde is waiting for you in the drawing room. The staff will see to bringing your belongings in from the car," he said.

"Hey, merry Christmas, Garmond, that'd be great, thanks," Duo replied.

The man merely nodded, "Very good, sir."

"I swear, these people hate me," Duo complained to WuFei once they were a reasonable distance from the man, "I don't know if they just know I'm trash and they hate having to serve me, or what."

"I'm sure they don't hate you, Duo, I imagine they just don't know how to respond to you," WuFei said. He froze at the door, his hand slipping from Duo's, a blush on his cheeks.

"You alright?" Duo's features creased with worry.

Duo had been hands on all morning, which took getting used to for WuFei but in the privacy of their home, he didn't mind it as much. They would be in front of other people now, several people who WuFei held in great esteem, and others he may not know or remember knowing. He wasn't sure how to handle the idea of being intimate with Duo in front of them.

"Hey, babe," Duo said in a soft whisper, "Take your time. We don't need to rush. I can be as close or as far away as you need. Whatever you're comfortable with, it's entirely up to you. Just remember, this," he slipped an arm around WuFei's waist, nuzzled his cheek, "Is what's normal for our friends, so don't feel like you're alone. If you need me, you can reach out, I'll be right by your side."

WuFei flustered but thought of Relena and Heero not even paying a glance to Duo's fondling at the circus. He stepped towards the door and Duo followed, pushing his hand into his pockets and donning a casual smile.

The front door opened before they could knock, a young woman in a blue frock and apron ushered them in. WuFei couldn't begin to think where the drawing room would be in such a large space, but Duo seemed to know where they were going and led the way towards the back of the house. Vague memories came back to WuFei, of standing in that foyer with Heero and a drunk Duo, of stepping into a crowded party unable to find a friendly face, of a growing sense of loneliness.

They came upon the room where WuFei recalled the last party hosted in. Decorations were in the process of being set-up, and in the center of it all stood a young woman in slacks and a Christmas shirt with short dark hair. Beside her was Quatre, they seemed to be talking about the room's layout and hadn't noticed their guests' arrival.

Duo put a finger to his lips, a childish grin filled his face. WuFei rolled his eyes but smiled despite himself as Duo, light of foot and swift as a rabbit, darted unheard across the room, swept his arms around the woman's waist and spun her around in the air as she cried out in surprise. Duo laughed as the woman screamed to be put down, though she sounded in good spirits, and Quatre recovered from his shock quick enough to join in the laughter. After a few seconds, Duo relented and placed the woman, a bit frazzled, on the ground. She playfully slapped his arm.

"Jeez, Duo, you scared me half-to-death! That's how you get yourself killed, you know. You're lucky I didn't have a gun on me, or something heavy to hit you with," she chastised.

It took several deep breaths for Duo to contain his laughter, "Sorry, Hilde, I couldn't help it. You just looked so vulnerable and exposed."

Quarte caught sight of WuFei still standing at the entryway. A relieved smile spanned the breadth of his face.

"WuFei I'm so glad you made it," he greeted, crossing the room to embrace a startled WuFei.

Duo cocked his head to give WuFei an encouraging smile, and WuFei returned the hug as best he could manage, trying not to sigh when Quatre finally released him.

"We were so worried when we got the call," Quatre said, "We wanted to come right away, but Sally and Trowa insisted we give you and Duo the time and space. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it?"

Quatre's eyes shimmered with uncertainty and WuFei could only manage to stammer a "yes" in reply.

"Things alright with you two?" Hilde asked, eyeing Duo.

Duo grinned, and WuFei said, "I believe so."


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Right, the next chapter. There's only seven chapters left after this, I can't believe it's almost all posted! What will I post after? I've barely worked on anything else. Ah, well. I've got time, right? Thanks for the reviews! Chicookie, of course, got to make up for those 3 weeks I left everyone hanging. Duaimei, I'm glad you liked all the chapters. I worried how that people watching game would go over with readers, thank you for liking it! Shenlong1, Duo's charms are hard to resist, WuFei didn't stand a chance. Sanaelsama, aww, you're so sweet! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and that so many other people love these two boys as much as me! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and be sure to let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

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Chapter 23:

For the next few hours before the Winner Christmas Party was scheduled to start, Duo and Hilde took over decorating and set up while Quatre kept WuFei company. They sat on the couch where they could watch their respective significant other and "stay out of the way", with drinks and a plate of small snacks to split between them.

WuFei didn't know how to speak to Quatre. The embrace had caught him off guard, and he didn't know where to begin unraveling what their friendship might be like from that initial greeting.

During the war and the time that followed after, Quatre had been an enigma to WuFei. They're personalities contrasted one another so drastically. Quatre was soft and empathic, WuFei not so much. In the memories WuFei had of those past three years, Quatre made attempts every now and then to reach out which WuFei recalled largely ignoring. He couldn't get the bad taste of that one Christmas party out of his mouth.

Now he sat across from the other man with the knowledge they'd spent those three years becoming good friends. Quatre eased the awkwardness at first by stating, "Hilde mentioned your memory might be fuzzy from the accident. If you have any questions about anything, please, feel free to ask."

They sat in quiet for the most part, though. Quatre asked a few polite questions about WuFei's recovery. He mentioned the circus visit.

"I was overwhelmed with work that night. I insisted Hilde go without me, but she's been going to great trouble over this party and her own business has been keeping her busy," Quatre smiled at the glass in his hand, "She secured the contract with L4."

"Ah," WuFei didn't know what else to say. He couldn't recall anything about Hilde, least of all what her work entailed. Quatre seemed to sense the issue, smiling.

"She might not have mentioned the contract to Duo yet. With everything that's been going on. The government in the L4 colony cluster has contracted her salvage shop to perform sweeper operations around their colonies," he explained.

"I see. That sounds like an excellent opportunity," WuFei said.

"She's worked hard for it. Between her business and mine, we barely see one another sometimes," Quatre took a sip of his drink, "That's why this party is so important to her. It's a rare moment when we get to see all of our friends and family. She wants it to be a special night."

"She seems like a warm person," WuFei replied, wincing and realizing he was speaking so impersonally about a woman with whom he allegedly shared a close friendship. Quatre didn't remark on it, picking at one of the snack foods, a small cookie, off the plate.

"Duo seems in good spirits, all things considered," Quatre said, covering a laugh as he popped the cookie into his mouth.

"It's been a rough few days for him but I think we've come to an impasse," WuFei replied. He furrowed his brow and decided to bite the bullet, "I must apologize for my distance today, I'm not sure what our friendship is like, Quatre. My memories…are different. The last time I recall speaking to you was three years ago, at the Christmas party you hosted then."

Quatre sat thoughtful a moment, his brow furrowed, and he nodded, "Three years ago…oh, yes, the first Christmas Party I decided to invite everyone to. That's the last time you remember speaking to me? Oh dear. That was…an interesting evening."

"To say the least."

"I knew it would be difficult, bringing all of us together, but I had to try. The five of us…we shared an experience no one else in the world could understand. At times, it could be an isolating feeling. I knew that I was struggling with my place in the world and the things I had done during the war, and I had wondered if the rest of you felt the same, and if so, could we perhaps find a way to help one another through it," Quatre leaned his elbow on the sofa arm and perch his cheek in a hand, "I knew if I took a direct approach I would never get a response. We weren't trained to rely on others in that way. When we came to earth, we were told that we would be fighting our battles alone. Remember the surprise of learning there were more of us?"

"I admit, it wasn't too surprising for me," WuFei said, taking a sip of his drink. Quatre smiled broadly at him.

"Of course. Sometimes I forget how much better your grasp was of the diplomatic games and manipulations being played around and with us. You always seemed to know more than us."

"I wouldn't say always. I made my mistakes of judgement," WuFei lowered his eyes, a fluster in his cheeks, "I was the one foolish enough to join the Barton Foundation, after all we fought for during the Eve Wars."

Quatre placed a hand on WuFei's forearm, and he looked up at WuFei with a kind expression, "You were lost and looking for yourself. We all were at that time. There is not a one of us that has ever held that against you."

"It felt that way in this room three years ago," WuFei challenged.

"How so?" Quatre frowned.

"I never spoke to Heero or Trowa that evening, the greeting with you was as a guest to a host. You speak about that night as though you arranged it as a ploy to bring the five of us together, but from my perspective, it was a grand gesture, a formality, nothing more. I wasn't welcome in that room, and then Duo..."

"But you were welcome," Quatre bristled, his eyes shimmering with lighted passion, "All of you were my most important guests that night. There was distance between all of us, I'll grant you that. That pain and uncertainty, it was evident in each of you, and I didn't know where to begin. I was afraid if I pushed too hard, you would all scatter and I'd never see a single one of you again. Heero hid in the corner, retreating to the safety of his responsibilities as a soldier. Trowa, he was the most obvious in his anxiety, donning the persona of an orchestra member…even the orchestra believed he was one of their own. And you. You looked ready to fight anyone who came too close.

"I confess, you were the one I most feared would not show up that night, and you were the one I thought might need that night, need our connection, most of all. You had lost all of your connections during the war, and I had spoken to Sally Po before the party – she was worried about you. Worried you weren't forming new connections, and with nothing to tether you, she worried you were losing yourself. But then Duo showed up to prove me wrong, you weren't the one that needed us the most."

Quatre's eyes fell to the floor and WuFei's eyes found Duo across the room, bouncing and chatting with his friend, Hilde, lost in the merriment of that day and oblivious to their partners' conversation.

"I wish I had known…I wish he had felt he could come to us. If only I had tried sooner, he might not have had to suffer alone for so long in the way that he did."

"The PTSD," WuFei acknowledged.

"Yeah, his PTSD didn't help. It definitely made his diagnosis harder for him to handle and increased his feelings of isolation. To have survived all that we did during the war, to finally have achieved peace in this world, I can't imagine what that felt like, to be told he wouldn't be able to enjoy it, that he only had months before the cancer took him," Quatre said.

WuFei's heart dropped and his focus on Duo bleared, "What?"

Quatre examined WuFei's expression, looking himself surprised and abashed.

"You don't remember."

"Tell me," WuFei said, his voice trembled with emotions that felt like anger but weren't quite as he came to understand that this was the thing Duo had been keeping from him.

"He…he received the diagnosis almost a week before my invite reached him. That's why he showed up at the party the way he did, drunk and upset. It must've felt like a slap in the face for him, such a long period of silence from us after the war. He struggled to keep a job and maintain friendships because of his PTSD, he got that diagnosis, and then I sent him a Christmas invite, it must've seemed insincere to him and on top of everything else. I was so foolish, I should've reached out sooner," Quatre shook his head, "We didn't know. He was so angry about so much at that party, we couldn't figure it out. But you did. Wasn't that how it always goes? You always manage to figure out things long before we do.

"You volunteered to drive him home after the party, I think you just wanted an excuse to leave, but eventually you realized he had you driving in circles and that he didn't have anywhere to go. You forced him home with you. Somehow you got it out of him that he was homeless and jobless. I don't know how you did it but you convinced him to stay with you in your extra room. Enlisted the rest of us because he was in such a bad way. We took shifts on suicide watch those first weeks because we didn't know what he would do," Quatre smiled at the memory, "It wasn't long after he came to live with you that you started seeing the symptoms of his cancer and got him to confess. Doctors had given him months to live, he was determined to die, but you forced him to get treatment anyway."

… _saved my life…gave me a reason to fight…_

From across the room, Duo caught WuFei's eye and grinned, waving his fingers. A faint smile touched WuFei's features, and Duo returned to his decorating and party preparations with Hilde. They were setting up presents under a fifty foot tall tree.

"I did all of that for him," WuFei murmured, taken aback by the details of his own actions.

"Whenever you make a choice to act on something, whether right or wrong, you always throw yourself into it one hundred percent. Even during the war. You never doubt yourself, never falter. You persist and keep fighting. Even when the stakes are high and the odds are stacked against you, you never give up. Once you've set your mind to something, you go after it, with your whole self, heart, mind, body and soul, without hesitation. I always admired that about you," Quatre said, "He fought you every step of the way, and the rest of us were ready to throw in the towel, but for whatever reason, you had made up your mind that you were going to save Duo's life."

"The cancer?" WuFei looked to Quatre, wishing his fear of the answer wasn't so evident in his voice.

"When you got the news it had gone into remission, the two of you kept it a secret until we could bring everyone together and make the big announcement. It was such a beautiful day, we had a picnic at the Darlian estate. It was that same day you decided to let everyone know you'd both fallen in love, though we all suspected as much by then, and now that Duo had a new lease on life, you both planned to spend the rest of it together," Quatre glanced across the room, his gaze softened, "It was also the day I met Hilde."

"I see. It sounds like it was a good day for everyone," WuFei frowned at his glass. Why would Duo keep these things from him? It didn't make any sense. If their relationship stemmed from him helping Duo out of a rough situation, helping him through illness, wasn't that something that should strengthen their bond? Or did Duo worry that their relationship felt born out of an obligation? A sense of owing someone his life?

"The two of you fought before the accident," Quatre said, his voice low and shaky, "Do you…maybe remember what you fought about?"

"No. He said it was about him taking better care of himself," WuFei replied.

"Oh," Quatre fidgeted in his seat, "The party is tonight and I don't want to recall bad memories before then but…"

"What is it?"

"There's only one thing the two of you would've fought about that would upset you that much," Quatre met WuFei's eyes, "But if you thought the cancer was back, you would tell us, wouldn't you?"


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: I know, I know, the other shoe that everyone had been waiting for to drop finally dropped last chapter and I left it on a cliffhanger. Sorry! Not really. I do these things because I love you readers. Thank you for the reviews guys, Chicookie, Duaimei, Tiifa, Shenlong1, Sanaelsama, and Jayna. I've had a long day and I'm exhausted, but I appreciate all of you for making it this far with me. We're on the final stretch and I hope you all enjoy it!

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Chapter 24:

Once the party began, WuFei didn't know what to do with himself. It felt surreal to be in that room again, surrounded by such familiar faces from his past. He was used to putting a distance between himself and them, it had been his way of coping with his own social insecurities, but he couldn't get away with that this time. His friends sought him out, eager to greet him, wish him happy holidays, see how his healing was going. He attempted to latch onto Duo to use the more socially outgoing boy as a shield but it wasn't long before the crowd, and people vying for their attentions, separated the two of them.

Duo ended up across the room, engaged in a conversation with a few older sweepers that worked with Hilde before being pulled away by a dignitary from one of the outer fringe colonies interested in Duo's input on handling the poorer communities under his jurisdiction. WuFei found himself surrounded by politicians that seemed familiar with him and his political stances, eager for debate, but he could only recall their names from newspapers and television.

"Last time we spoke, Mr. Chang, you thought you had some great ideas about the Interstellar Trade Commissions new policies. I want you to know I looked over those numbers again, and I've got some rebuttals to points you made," a woman with graying hair and a red dress said, coming up beside WuFei and taking a drink from her wine glass. He knew her name as Sonya Marikesh, a governor from one of the smaller colony clusters. He couldn't fathom what his previous comments had been about, but he was familiar enough with her stance on different issues to know that it had been a heated debate. He was relieved from having to reply when Relena appeared.

"Mrs. Marikesh, please, spare us your creative mathematical interpretation of 'the numbers'. We all know those numbers have nothing to do with the proposed L2 embargo. Those policies are about politically wrangling in a colony that's been growing economically at a rate the ITC wasn't prepared to handle," she said.

"No one is trying to bottle-neck the L2 colony cluster. They boast the most sweeper and salvage operations in the entire galaxy, it only made sense that business would start booming for them after the wars. We're only interested in stabilizing the galactic economy," Sonya argued.

"If you'll excuse me."

WuFei slipped past Relena in search of a safe corner, only to find himself smothered in a hug. He caught a glimpse of red hair swept up into a wrap around hair style. The girl stepped back and his heart skipped as recognition set in.

"Mariemaia," he said. She beamed at him. Despite being almost thirteen now, she looked much younger than the seven year old he'd met at the Barton Foundation. She wore a crushed green velvet dress, and white stockings, a broad smile on her face.

"First, announcements," she declared, "I passed all of my mid-year exams, including high marks in chemistry and literature. I was awarded the Distinguished Athlete Award and won first in regionals and second in the global Annual Fencing Competitions and I'll be competing in the interstellar competitions next month on the L1 colonies."

"Admirable," WuFei said, still recovering from the initial shock of seeing the young girl and how her time spent as Une's daughter had transformed her.

"But more importantly, I earned the role of Laura Wingfield in my academy's upcoming production of The Glass Menagerie. I never thought they would give me the role, I'm so glad you and my mother forced me to audition," she grabbed his hand, "You and Duo will come, right?"

"Of course," WuFei stammered, clearing his throat, "You'll have to let Duo know the date of the play, and your mother is in charge of our work schedule."

"Excellent. It would only be more perfect if Miss Relena will be able to join and then I'll have my two favorite mentors present," Mariemaia faltered, a more serious expression filling her features, "Forgive me, I should've asked first…in my excitement to see you and wanting to share my good news I've been so rude. Mother told me of your accident. Are you recovering well?"

WuFei smiled, giving her hand, still grasping his, a small squeeze.

"I am well, thank you. Don't apologize. I'd much rather hear of your good news," he told her. He felt a light touch on his shoulder as Relena stepped beside him, giving him a brief hug in greeting that he relaxed into, surprising himself with how familiar their embraces were becoming to him.

"I'm sorry for stepping into your conversation back there, WuFei, I know you could've handled Sonya on your own," she started, but WuFei cut her off.

"Your interference was appreciated. I honestly am not sure, in my current state, if I could've handled that woman."

"Mariemaia, you look gorgeous in that dress," Relena gushed, gathering the other girl up into her arms.

"It's been so long since last time I saw you, Miss Relena. I know you've been busy with your political duties, but it's such a shame, I miss you so," Mariemaia replied.

"Well, we simply must catch up," Relena exclaimed.

"I'll leave you two to it. Have either of you seen Duo?" WuFei said, hoping to squeeze out of the crowd.

"I think I saw him talking to a few Magunac soldiers by the Christmas tree, but that was ages ago and I imagine he's moved on since then," Relena said, "Oh, will you do me a favor when you have the chance, WuFei? Find Heero, please. He went somewhere to hide, and I think he may need a companion to make it appear as though he's occupied, otherwise, General Klaus Miller will corner him again and I don't want another incident like last year."

WuFei wasn't certain who General Klaus Miller was or what happened last year, but he could see from the faces both Relena and Mariemaia wore that it wasn't pleasant and did not bear repeating.

"I'll do what I can to protect Heero from the general," WuFei assured her.

WuFei maneuvered through the crowd again. Several people, many of whom he didn't recognize, grabbing him in passing to exchange pleasantries. He felt like he might never make it through the crowd and considered throwing punches, when an arm slipped over his shoulders and steered him towards safety.

His savior was Trowa leading him onto the outer balcony where Heero was waiting with a bottle of whiskey, a plateful of assorted appetizers and desserts. He sat hunched over a small table, cards already sprawled out before him in what appeared to be a game of poker. The balcony itself had a contained heating system set up for enjoying the outdoors in the cold weather. It had started snowing, but the snow melted before hitting the balcony.

WuFei drew in a deep breath and sighed relief.

"Your girlfriend is worried about you," he informed Heero.

"Your husband makes great truffles," Heero returned, popping one of said truffles into his mouth. WuFei made a face and even Trowa raised a brow as Heero smirked, shrugged and said, "I thought we were stating the obvious. "

Heero offered up the bottle of whiskey to WuFei and Trowa took a seat across from Heero to resume their game. There was a third chair that Trowa motioned for WuFei to sit in and he realized as he sat that they'd brought it out there specifically for him.

"My apologies for not retrieving you sooner. I should have realized with your current memory struggles that you might not have recalled where our retreat point was," Trowa said, and, while Heero raised a brow at the memory comment, he remained silent, "Duo will know where to find you when he grows bored with the party."

"I see. We typically spend this party on the balcony," WuFei surmised, taking a sip from the bottle and handing it back to Heero.

"Not all of us like the crowd. Quatre keeps the door open for us," Heero explained.

"I'll deal you in next hand," Trowa said.

They spent the rest of the party outside playing poker and taking turns sipping from the bottle of whiskey. Card games weren't often a challenge for WuFei, games in general weren't especially ones based on statistics, but Heero and Trowa had equally impressive poker faces and could calculate the odds just as well as WuFei. It made for a decidedly enjoyable game. They exchanged quiet conversation over that time and cleaned the plate of food.

"What happened last year with General Klaus Miller?" WuFei asked, perking a brow at Heero. Heero scowled and Trowa smirked.

"Heero didn't appreciate the general's overbearing need to share his perspectives on Relena's political ideologies and Heero's willingness to allow her to have them. Heero went to debatably unnecessary lengths to make his displeasure with the general known," Trowa said.

"No one was hurt in the explosion," Heero grumbled.

WuFei covered a chuckle, "Sounds like reasonable reaction to me."

"Relena did not agree," Heero said.

They fell into a comfortable silence, playing thoughtfully through each hand, as time passed around them. WuFei relished in the feeling of being at a complete ease with his two former comrades in arms. He never would've imagined himself in such a situation before, and he never would've thought he'd enjoy himself if he were. But the three, with their quiet, contemplative natures, complemented one another. He could understand in that small reprieve from the larger party how they had come to call one another friends.

The party wound down behind them. They had quit their poker game and fallen into a philosophical debate on the true meaning of Christmas, and what it's connotation was in the brief, tentative peace that earth and mankind now enjoyed. Could it be maintained? Was this the promise made by a virgin miracle and three wise men? The balcony door opened, and Duo and Quatre stepped outside.

"Told you these assholes abandoned us, Quatre," Duo said, taking his place beside WuFei. Without a thought, WuFei reached up to take Duo's hand, missing the smile it brought to Duo's face. Duo reached for the whiskey bottle and Heero passed it over.

"Is the party over, then?" Heero asked.

"For the most part," Quatre said, "It was a good evening. Hilde is saying some final good-byes to our guests. I should really go back in there to help."

He looked reluctant to do so, though, and remained firmly planted where he stood.

"The number of people who tried to get our princess under that mistletoe was surprising considering it's well known she has an overprotective bodyguard, but, you know, she handled herself well," Duo said, wagging a suggestive brow at Heero.

"I'm going to need a list of names," Heero said.

"I'm under direct orders not to give that to you," Duo laughed, all but Heero following suit.

"Lady Une wants to see you before she goes, babe," Duo told WuFei, he winced and added, "Also, Mariemaia apparently wants us to go watch her in some play next year."

"She told me," WuFei replied, "Is that bad?"

"Bad…eh. You hate the theater, I hate the theater…"

"Have you ever been to the theater?" Quatre wondered, looking at Duo with suspicion.

"No, I haven't, thank you very much, Mr. Rich Prick," Duo said, toasting the whiskey bottle at Quatre before taking a swig, "I just sense that I would hate it. Because it's hoity-toity and shit. You have to dress up in a nice suit and tie, and, although I love seeing WuFei in that kind of a get up about as much as I hate wearing it myself, I'll pass, thanks."

Again the door opened, this time Relena stood in its frame, Hilde beside her, and a camera in her hands.

"Oh good, you're all out here," she said, holding the camera up, "I'd like a picture of the five of you together before everyone leaves."

There was some grumbling, as Relena directed the five boys into position along the balcony rail, snow falling at their backside. Duo wrapped an arm around WuFei from behind, resting his chin on WuFei's shoulder, as they all smiled, sort of, for the camera and WuFei took a moment to appreciate the scene. The five of them had survived so much together. There was a point in time during the wars when it felt as though the only ones on their side was one another. How could he have cut ties with these people? They were the only four people in the entire universe that could ever truly understand him.

They went inside to say their good-byes. WuFei greeted Lady Une with a hug. It didn't cross his mind to wonder if that was their relationship, and she didn't question it, instead examining him and making comments about his poor driving choices.

"You're one of our top agents, I can't lose my heir apparent," she said.

"Hey now, don't go promoting him without talking about it with me first," Duo joked, brushing a kiss to WuFei's cheek.

"I'll take better care in the future," he assured her.

"Did you get the presents we brought for you and Mariemaia?" Duo asked.

"Mariemaia is loading them into the car now," Lady Une said, "There are presents from us to both of you under the tree still. Mariemaia was insistent she pick out separate gifts for everyone this year with money she earned tutoring through the school."

"She's getting so much older," WuFei marveled.

"She'll be bringing boys home soon," Duo laughed. Une paled and WuFei scowled.

"Don't even joke about that," Une said.

"We'll be sure to run full background checks on all of these boys," WuFei assured her, and she laughed, waving as she headed out the door.

There were more good-byes, to Sally Po, Katherine and Trowa as they headed back for the circus, Heero and Relena, and Hilde and Quatre. By the time Duo and WuFei returned home it was well past midnight. They crashed into bed and Duo pressed a kiss to WuFei's lips.

"Did you have a good night?" Duo asked.

"I did. You?"

"Perfect night," Duo replied, snuggling into WuFei's shoulder.

"Duo?"

"Yes, my love."

"Tomorrow, I want to know what we fought about before my accident."


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Overwhelmed last week, didn't get an update in. So, of course, two chapters today! It's almost over...four more chapters after this update, I think? Thanks for sticking with me all the way through this. I don't know that I'll be uploaded another fanfic after. I had a heart-to-heart with my sister, and together we are focusing on getting me through the first manuscript of one of my original works. We'll see how that goes, fingers crossed for me, please? Thanks for the reviews: Duaimei, I can't believe you persevered through all of this with me, you're so awesome, and Chicookie, your excitement is always so appreciated. You guys are the best! I hope you enjoy these next two chapters!

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Chapter 25

WuFei woke the next morning to an empty bed and quiet house. He felt it ache through him as he reached for Duo and found nothing but rumpled bedsheets and pillows. He made some tea and found a note from Duo in the kitchen hastily scratched out about quiche in the fridge for breakfast and bike parts at Howard's that he went to pick up. It seemed unnecessary to leave so early in the morning for such errands, and WuFei suspected the other boy was avoiding him.

Per Duo's recommendation, he heated up some leftover quiche for his breakfast and ate it with a cup of green tea while reading a book, eying the clock every so often. He cleaned the dishes and wandered the house.

Cancer.

How had the conversation gone, he wondered? How had he convinced Duo to stay, and to reveal his secrets? How had he managed to force the other boy into unwanted treatments? Quatre had spoken about WuFei's decision to endure such a trying time in awe, but WuFei couldn't imagine being that strong and resilient.

If the cancer was back, could he endure it again? Without the memories, the knowledge of what it took the first time, he wasn't certain. The minutes turned into hours, and still no Duo. Snow picked up outside, flurries became sheets of white. WuFei checked the weather forecast, a blizzard was moving in. Still no Duo.

They had fought. Fought to the point that WuFei had rushed out on his bike in such weather as was forming outside now. Fought to the point that he couldn't stand to be in the same house as that boy. That boy he knew he loved with all of his heart and soul. That boy that he had chosen to dedicate his life to, that he chosen to save. Duo had played their fight off as no big deal, as though something that happened often between them.

Frustration grew in WuFei. He watched out the window as the streets turned white and the sky darkened over. Those past several days, Duo had been keeping secrets and lying. Why would he lie about this? It was the foundation of their entire relationship. He took Duo home from that party, forced him to reveal his secrets, forced him to stay and fight. Why hide that?

And why hide from the truth of their fight before the accident?

 _...you would tell us, if the cancer was back…_

Their life together was perfect. In every way the one thing WuFei never knew he needed, never would allow himself to admit he wanted, to actually feel alive and happy. Duo's laugh, touch, smile, voice, presence filled the world in WuFei's heart and gave him something solid and beautiful to enjoy. Was this hell then after all? To give WuFei a glimpse of happiness – true, unadulterated happiness – only to take it away as soon as he had chosen to grasp it tight and never let go?

By the time Duo returned, the storm had picked up considerably and WuFei had buried himself in misery on the couch. He couldn't explode in anger, he could only shake with his own fear as he watched Duo shake snow off and remove his jacket and boots.

"Where've you been?" WuFei asked, his voice small and lost.

"Around. Went to the shop to get the stuff for your bike. Visited downtown to see the lights again while the streets were empty, wanted to do some thinking, you know. Sorry if I worried you. The parts are in the garage, whenever you want to start working on it," Duo said, he smiled distantly at WuFei, "There's a bad storm coming in. Good excuse to stay in and get some repairs done."

"We need to talk," WuFei said, "I told you last night."

"Let me get through the door first. It's cold outside," Duo said, sighing as he headed for the kitchen. WuFei stood to follow.

"I woke up and you were gone already. You could've waited to tell me you were going out," WuFei said.

"I didn't want to wake you and I wanted to get out there early before the snow got too bad, alright?" Duo put some water and coffee grounds in the coffee maker, flicked the switch on.

"I told you I wanted to talk today," WuFei knew he sounded petulant and he didn't care. He'd waited and worried and wondered as the snow picked up. Nothing but a quickly scrawled note pinned to the fridge and the deafening silence of the house to greet him.

"I know and the day's not over yet, WuFei, we still got plenty of time to talk. I need coffee, alright," Duo snapped, turning to rummage through the cabinets.

 _If the cancer was back_ …

Nothing but silence. The quiet of an empty house. That familiar loneliness creeping in again. This is what he deserved right? This hell? An empty house. Silence. Walls between him and the life he wanted. The life he didn't deserve. This life, right here. This life with this boy. This boy he loved with his entire heart and soul.

"Why didn't you tell me about the cancer?" WuFei said.

Duo slumped against the counter, his back to WuFei, his head hanging between his shoulders where the world rested its full weight. He stared at the counter top a moment before closing his eyes and drawing in a haggard breath.

"Fucking Quatre. Self-righteous jerk, always interfering in things got nothing to do with him," Duo muttered.

"Why did we fight, Duo? Before the accident. What did we fight about?"

Duo shook his head, "I told you why we fought. You want me to take better care of myself and I want you not to worry so much about it."

"You expect me believe all we fought about was what? You drinking soda too early in the morning? Nagging you about sugar and junk food, and that was enough to drive me out of here in a fucking blizzard? Try again," WuFei yelled.

"Don't do this," Duo spun around, eyes locked on WuFei's, pleading, "Let's not do this again. Please. Last night was great. Things are going good between us. We can deal with this again when your memories come back but right now can we just focus on the good and getting those memories back?"

WuFei seethed, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes burning holes into the ground.

"You haven't been eating much. The bathroom visits. You're tired all the time. It's not just stress from the accident. I'm the one in recovery but you end up exhausted long before me. Your clothes fit loose, if I could remember, I would know if that was always the case or if you were losing weight. I noticed these things before though, didn't I? Before the accident?"

"What do you want me to say? Yes. Okay. Yes, you brought them up before the accident."

"I was worried."

"Yes, you were worried," Duo muttered, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I thought that the cancer might be back."

Duo said nothing, swiping at a tear strolling down his check.

"And?" WuFei pressed.

"And what?" Duo demanded.

"What happened, Duo?"

"What happened…what do you think happened? You wanted me to schedule an exam," Duo shrugged, "And I said no. You got mad and left, end of story."

"No? What do you mean no?"

"I mean no. No. No, I'm not getting an exam."

"Why not?" WuFei growled.

"Because I don't want one. Because I'm not putting you through that again," Duo said, "Because it's my fucking choice and that's final."

The realization cut through WuFei in a blaze of searing white, as he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, "You already know."

Duo flinched, looking away.

"That's why you don't want an exam. You've already taken one," WuFei couldn't seem to catch his breath, he struggled for air but couldn't find any, "You already know the answer."

"I should've just…left it," Duo mumbled, shaking his head as more tears fell down his cheeks, "It was selfish. I didn't want to lose what we had, I wanted you to remember but…I should've let you go then. Maybe it would've been better that way."

"You're talking about it like you're already dead," WuFei said, "You're going in for treatments. We fought it once before, we can do it again."

"I can't," Duo pulled himself up, "My chance of survival was slim before, it's non-existent now. You don't remember what it was like, but I do. The hell you had to go through, where the treatment is almost as bad, if not worse sometimes, than the fucking disease. I won't put you through that again, only to just…no. I want to enjoy what I've got, what we've got, for as long as I can."

"That's not acceptable. You're just going to give up? Just like that? You don't get to do that and then say it's for me."

"I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired, baby, I'm so tired. I just want to have the peace I was promised for the little time I have left."

"And what about me, Duo?" WuFei shouted, "When you're gone, I'll still be here. You won't fight for yourself, but what about for me? What about for our life together? You want to just throw it away, just like that?"

"Our life? Our life is so important to you? It's something so worth fighting for? You can't even be bothered to remember it, you'd rather be an accountant in Bergonia," Duo roared.

WuFei fell back at that as though physically struck. He barely felt the tears falling hot down his face as he spun away from Duo and marched away. The last thing he heard before slamming the garage door shut behind him was Duo punch the wall and shout, "Fuck!"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Hours ticked away, as WuFei occupied his mind working on the repairs to his bike. There was a dulling comfort in mechanical work. Each piece fit together in perfect synchronicity. If a piece didn't fit, the solution was as simple as exchanging it out for another piece, a bit of oil, or tighten a lug nut. Everything had a place and it all made sense.

Not like this life. Not like Duo Maxwell.

No.

The word dropped to the bottom of WuFei's stomach and sat there growing stale and cold. No, Duo would not fight. No, Duo would not try. No, Duo would just lay down and die.

WuFei put his tools down, wiped the grease off his hands on a rag, assessing his work. The bike would run, though it wouldn't be pretty or particularly safe to ride yet. He tested the weight on his leg and frowned. Just as Duo had pointed out the other day, WuFei wasn't in a place to ride yet either.

"No," he whispered. Duo deserved better than 'the little life he had left to live'. WuFei deserved better than what 'little life he had left to live'. It wasn't enough, and maybe it would never be enough, but three years? Three fucking years that WuFei couldn't even remember. How could it even begin to be fair?

And what if he could never remember? What if the life they'd had together was gone forever? The first time they laughed together, the first time they held hands, their first date, their first kiss. He would never find out who kissed who first! Every single detail that Duo shared of himself, who he was before the war, during, and after. Memories as intimate to Duo as Meilan was for WuFei. The thought pushed itself into WuFei's heart and gave it a crushing squeeze. All he would have then would be the few months or so watching Duo fade away and stories reassuring him that they'd had something meaningful together.

"No," WuFei said again, more firm and determined.

Duo was a Gundam pilot, goddammit. A soldier. A fighter. He didn't deserve to die, withering away in a bed. He deserved to die fighting. He deserved an honorable death. And how could Duo ever believe that WuFei would, could, or ever should accept such a decision. Furthermore, to claim that decision – that cowardly, dishonorable decision – was _for_ WuFei. To spare WuFei the pain and suffering of cancer treatment. As though somehow, the pain and suffering of losing his lover was somehow preferable.

Selfish, on top of everything else, it was selfish.

WuFei would still be here after. He thought of waiting around the house whenever Duo was away. The stillness of the air and the quiet – that defeaning quiet. That would be his life after Duo…WuFei shook his head. He couldn't even think it. There wasn't anyone in the world that could fill the small spaces of his life the way Duo did. What would he do in the after? What did Duo honestly expect him to do? He wasn't yet thirty, and he would already lose the love his life? Was he expected to go out, move on, find someone new? As if anyone in the world – in the galaxy – could take Duo's place?

If Duo went, WuFei may as well go with him.

WuFei slipped into the house, determination in his limped gait. The decision wasn't made, and it wasn't final, because in Duo's mind he would die and WuFei would mourn and move on and live a happily ever after from there. That wasn't the choice he was making. The only choice Duo had was the one WuFei would give him: we fight together, or we die together.

He stopped in the mouth of the hallway where it entered into their living room, breath hitching in his throat. Duo's painting, Promise of Tomorrow, was leaned against the living room wall by the tree. He'd finished it, apparently in the time that WuFei had been out working on his bike. The village and dawn sprung out of the canvas in unsaturated blues, oranges, and reds. On the fringe of the village, looking up at the dawn with the rest of the villagers, were two boys of striking similarity to Duo and WuFei. They held hands, their faces upturned to the sky and brimming with a hopefulness.

WuFei took a few steps forward, hope bristling across his own features as well. He wondered, had Duo changed his mind about treatment and fighting. He froze in his next step, hope fleeing as he took in the figure collapsed on the floor, still and sprawled out in a strange angle.

At once, WuFei was beside Duo. His fingers found the edges of Duo's face as he rolled Duo into a more comfortable position, pushing the hair away. Duo murmured, nothing coherent, and his eyes fluttered but didn't open.

"Duo? Duo wake up," WuFei pleaded to no response. He pulled Duo to the couch, hoisted him up onto it and settled a pillow behind his head. He pushed the hair from Duo's face, his mind racing, "I'll be right back, I promise. I'm calling for help."

The vidphone in the kitchen refused to offer anything more than a roar of static. WuFei rummaged through the kitchen and bedroom for a radio or landline, anything, found both and received the same response as the vidphone. He returned to Duo.

"Duo? Can you hear me?" WuFei said, taking the other boy's hand in his own. Duo whimpered, struggled for breath.

WuFei looked to the window, the blizzard had blotted out any light from outside. He realized even if he could get ahold of someone, they might not brave the storm unless he dragged them out of the hospital himself. His bike wasn't in ideal shape, but it would get him from the house to the hospital. He barely felt his injuries now, and he was a Gundam pilot, for crying out loud. He'd fought enemy combatants in a mobile suit in the middle of space in worse shape than he was in now.

Duo moaned, grimaced in his unconscious state, and that settled it. WuFei pressed kisses to Duo's face and mouth.

"I'm going for help, baby, but I'll be back," he said, "I'll be back. Wait for me. Please. Please wait for me. Please, please, fight for me."

Wufei grabbed a jacket and shoes, pulling them on as he rushed out the door. His bike shot out of the garage at a breakneck pace. Away from their home, their street, and towards the hospital. Sleet and snow flung into WuFei's face as he dodged around slick piles and growing puddles.

This was his life. This was the life he wanted. He thought of those past few days. His friends passed through his mind. The children at the orphanage. The light display.

He thought of a cold empty apartment in Bergonia, black and white and reeking of chemical cleaners. He thought of the smell of apple spice and vanilla intermingled. The taste of Duo's skin.

As the streets whipped by, he thought of the party three years ago. He thought of the desolation in that boy's eyes. The deadened look of a man condemned. He thought of watching Duo leave Quatre's house. The final look Duo threw over his shoulder as he stumbled out the door into the cold and WuFei wondered for a moment if he should take the excuse to leave and drive the other boy home. He's clearly in no state to be alone.

Alone.

WuFei squeezed his eyes shut, shook away the gathering slurry in his face. No, he took Duo home that night. He didn't watch Duo leave, he didn't wonder about it. They weren't alone. He wasn't alone.

 _I, for one, prefer to be alone._

He wouldn't lose Duo. Not this time.

 _Let me tell you something about people, they are weak and illogical._

Please wait, Duo.

 _They will only leave you behind and leave you disappointed._

WuFei saw the ice slick, laying down his bike a second too late. He lost himself in an inky black, his last thought was the look in Duo's eyes as he left that party three years before and the loneliness trapped there.

Please wait for me, Duo.

…

White light registered first. A dull sensation and blearing pain came next. Constriction, wires, hands and more hands wrapped in the smooth rubber feel of latex, the smell of blood and chemicals. Some beeping noise resounded, shrill and insistent.

"He's coming to," someone said, a sense of urgency in her voice.

"He's fighting back. It's alright, stay calm."

"Duo," WuFei murmured, struggling against the hands and the wires, "No….I have…Duo…he needs…"

"Someone put him under!"

"He's going into shock."

Something pierced his skin, trickled cold through his veins, and he dipped into darkness again.

He woke unknown hours later to the sounds of clattering plastic and shuffling feet. He could smell bleach, and mothballs. His mouth tasted of wool. He attempted to open his eyes but they wouldn't obey the command. He felt a hand on his wrist, got his eyes open a slit, enough to make out the blurry outline of his nurse.

"Duo," he said, "He needs help."

"It's going to be okay, Mister Chang, please relax," the nurse said, but he was already slipping once more into unconsciousness as he yelled in the back of his mind: Duo needs you, wake up!

Time seemed immaterial. It slipped by as WuFei drifted in and out of awareness. His memories of that past week circled in his mind and became confused. He thought, perhaps, he could see those three years with Duo. He dreamed of fighting with Duo over treatments and physicals, forcing the other boy to the hospital. He dreamed of late night conversations, unraveling one another's histories. He dreamed of Duo telling him childhood stories and intimate secrets that hovered on the peripheral of his mind, just out of reach. What were Duo's innermost thoughts, hopes and dreams?

When WuFei finally awoke, he realized he wasn't alone in the room and hope swelled in him, "Duo?"

"He keeps asking for a Duo. We haven't been able to determine who that is," said an unfamiliar man.

"This man is a veteran of the wars," came the reply, and WuFei's brow wrinkled in recognition as he attempted to pry his eyes open against the harsh lights.

"Really? But he's so young!"

"Not so surprising. A lot of young men and women lied about their ages to enlist when the wars started. Chang served with a man called Duo. I suspect he's having flashbacks."

"Po?" WuFei said, and the two voices fell silent. Sally watched WuFei, waiting until his eyes opened fully and met hers and she could ascertain that they were clear and aware before speaking.

"Finally decided to rejoin the living, eh, Chang? I can't say I'm too shocked that, after all this time, I'm still your emergency contact. I imagine you're more shocked about it than me," Sally said.

"Duo," WuFei started, trying to collect himself, "He collapsed. He needs medical help, we have to go to him."

Sally's brow wrinkled in concern. She glanced uncertainly to the man standing with her over WuFei's bed.

"Where…where do you think Duo is?" Sally started.

"Where would he be? He's at our house," WuFei snapped, anger outgrowing the pain aching through him and pounding in his head. There was no time for this, Duo needed help now.

Sally took a seat in the nearby chair and placed a placating hand on WuFei's shoulder. He looked at it dimly and noted that she was staring at him with a fearful expression. His heart sank.

"Where am I?" he said.

"You're in the hospital, Chang. You were in an accident. As I understand it, you were driving home from your company's Christmas party. Your car wrapped around a light pole. You've been in a coma the past five days, you're lucky to be alive," Sally explained.

"Hospital where?" WuFei said, but even as the words came out, her words fully registered: _your company's Christmas party_ … _your car_ …

"St. Clarence in northeast Bergonia," Sally answered, watching for his reaction. The words cut into him, a knife slicing his heart in two. He fell back into the pillow, a hand coming over his eyes as the emotion washed through him and he tried to hide the tears he felt forming.

"I see," he said.

So this was hell.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Okay, here are the last four chapters. Thank you all for joining me on this short, fluffy ride. I hope I'll see you again someday. Thanks for the reviews, the well wishes on my original works, and everything else. You're all so awesome!

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 27:

Over the next few days, Sally remained at the hospital with WuFei. He didn't talk much, answering questions when they were posed of him but ignoring the world otherwise. He felt lost, dazed, and alone again. At least with Sally there, he didn't feel as alone.

Part of WuFei wondered at her staying by his side, tending to his needs, despite the years that had passed since last they'd seen or spoken to one another. The other part of him remembered a playful voice, _she wouldn't let three years let alone three days pass without checking on you_ , as though from a fading dream.

It was on the third night of his waking, that WuFei stirred from his grief. He sat in the hospital bed, picking at the food a nurse brought him though not eating any of it. Sally sat reading one of the books she'd brought for WuFei in the nearby chair.

"Are you still working for the Preventers?" he asked.

"Of course," Sally said, resting the book in her lap with a finger between the pages to hold her place, "I'm guessing from that fancy red car you smashed to smithereens you're still working as an accountant."

WuFei smirked, pushing a pea through brown gravy with his fork. He took a moment to think about his next question.

"Do you speak to any of them? The other…other pilots, I mean."

Sally set the book on the table, apparently settling in to the idea that this would be turning in to a conversation. She folded her arms over her chest and crossed her legs. Her head tipped to one side as she studied WuFei, curiosity lighting her eyes.

"Heero and Trowa aren't exactly the keep in touch kind of guys but Quatre calls every once in awhile, and he speaks to them as well from time to time, at least, he's said about as much," she hesitated on her next words, "He asks about you."

WuFei nodded as though he expected it.

"I don't know what to tell him of course. You ignore my calls, same as his," she shrugged, leaned back in the chair and kicked her leg out a bit with restless energy.

WuFei put the fork down, pushed away his tray. He folded his fingers in the fabric of his blanket, his eyes watching his own fingers.

"And…Duo?"

Sally gave a soft snort, "You were asking about Duo when you first woke up. Do you remember that? What was that about? Bad dreams?"

"I remember," WuFei frowned, choosing to ignore her other questions. He'd already accepted that the week he spent in another life, a far more beautiful life than the one he had at present, was something his comatose mind cobbled together but saying it out loud would be too much for him to bear, "Do you? Hear from Duo?"

"No. No one does. Une keeps tabs on all of you, or she tried to at least. For the peace or whatever. Can't say I agreed with it, not that it mattered. Turned out it only worked so long as you boys were willing to cooperate with being found. Duo stopped wanting to be found, I'd say…almost three years ago, now," Sally sighed, leaned forward on her knees and stared off with a distant look in her eyes, "I keep an eye on obits and morgue reports for him from every corner of the galaxy. Otherwise, he wants his privacy, I'll let him have it. Least he deserves, I think."

"Right," WuFei said. The image of Duo leaving that party three years ago flashed before his mind.

"Near death experience have you feeling nostalgic?"

"Was I near death?"

Sally bit out a hard laugh, "Way I understand it, you technically died two times on the operating table. Scared the shit out of the staff the first time you came back, they were ready to call it, the second they chalked up to a miracle. I would tell them the truth, that you're made of sterner stuff than most, but I'd end up court martialed."

"I suppose it's nostalgia. We were never close, the five of us," WuFei laid back in his bed to look at the ceiling, "We barely knew one another. But we're the only five people in the world that knows what it was like."

"That's quite the change of perspective, Chang. You never used to talk like you were one of them before," Sally smiled somewhat, "How's accounting treating you."

"I'm good at it."

"You? WuFei Chang? Good at something? I'm shocked, simply shocked. We'll alert the presses," Sally teased, grinning at him, "What I would love to know, really, is if there's anything you're not good at."

"Staying in touch?" WuFei suggested.

"Returning phone calls," Sally confirmed.

"Do you remember the last thing you said to me? All those years ago when I left the Preventers?"

Sally scrunched her brow, question in her eyes. He looked to her with a smirk.

"You said, 'it doesn't suit you'," WuFei turned his eyes to the ceiling again, "You were right."

"Well, you know, if you ever get bored of making an absorbent amount of money for counting someone else's, Preventers are always looking for new, skilled recruits," Sally said.

"You think they'd take me back?" WuFei glanced at Sally. She took a moment to gauge him.

"I can't say for sure…but I could put in a good word for you."

"How soon would I be able to start?"

Sally gaped at WuFei, uncertain, "How hard did you hit your head?"

"I have a mild concussion but I'm fully cognizant of my choices," WuFei met her bewildered look with a determined one of his own, "I'm not an accountant, Po, and we both know it. Will the Preventers take me back or not?"

"It will take one phone call to Une," Sally said.

"Then make that call. I'll wait for you here."

…

It was another few days before the hospital released WuFei. Sally offered to drive WuFei home but he refused. He couldn't explain the feeling but for some reason he didn't want her to see his apartment. He took the bus into central Bergonia, looking up at Grenedier Towers with disdain.

He stood outside of his apartment door for far longer than anyone would deem necessary. He felt almost afraid to enter as his hand hovered on the doorknob. It was empty on the other side and he could feel its emptiness.

A woman and her child walked by, and the child pointed to him and exclaimed to his mother, "That man has an ow-ie!"

"Yes he does, sweetie, now what have I told you about pointing at people?"

WuFei sighed, opening the door. He stepped in, the familiar chemical smell sweeping over him. He hung his coat in the closet and sought his laptop. He took it with him to sit on the couch. There was a laundry list of things he needed to get done before he could restart at the Preventers. Une had him scheduled to begin in two weeks, that gave him time to tie up loose ends with Hinkley&Deluth and begin his search for an apartment closer to headquarters.

But first thing was first. He opened up a vid-comm channel, searching his contacts for a number he'd never dialed before. It rang two times before an unfamiliar young brunette in a headset answered. Her smile looked plastered on.

"Winner Corp, how may I direct your call?"

WuFei blinked away his initial stun. He didn't actually expect Quatre to answer now, did he?

"I'd like to speak with Quatre Reberba Winner," WuFei said. The woman gave him a precursory once over, analyzing his bandaged face, his disheveled appearance, his yellow pallor and hard-lined features.

"I'm sorry. Mister Winner is currently in a meeting with the CEOs. May I take a message?"

WuFei sighed, letting the anger dissipate over him. The call wasn't urgent, he reminded himself. Even if it felt urgent.

"Yes. Let him know WuFei Chang called."

"Is that all?" the woman looked taken aback.

"Yes," WuFei snapped, what else did she need? A play by play of what their conversation would be? "Thank you."

He hung up before she could give her own farewell. He set his laptop aside and massaged his forehead. He didn't know what he'd been thinking. That the number would be a direct line to Quatre? They weren't that close. Not in this life. And the other one was a figment of his pain-killer addled brain in the hospital. He wondered how many days it would take to hear back from Quatre, assuming he ever would.

The vid-comm on WuFei's laptop beeped alert of an incoming call. Curious, WuFei plucked the laptop up and answered. Quatre's face filled the screen. He looked out of breath, his cheeks red, his hair ruffled. He grinned at the sight of WuFei and the image shook loose some desperate emotion in WuFei. It wasn't Duo, but he was getting closer.

"It really is you," Quatre exclaimed, and then worry hooded his eyes as he took in WuFei's appearance, "Is everything okay?"

"I…" WuFei ghosted fingers over the bandaging on his face and neck, "I was in an accident. I'm fine. You look…well? Why are you…gasping like that?"

"Oh," Quatre laughed, "I ran to the nearest vid-phone from the meeting room when Lydie let me know you called. It's two flights down."

"You went to that trouble to return my call?"

"You never call," Quatre pointed out, worry gracing his features again, "Why…are you calling? Not that you need a reason, I just…is there a reason?"

"Because…I never call," WuFei replied, "I recently decided it was a problem I should fix. Is this a bad time though? You were in a meeting. I could call back later."

"It's fine. They can continue the meeting without me. It's not like I contribute much while I'm there anyways," Quatre smirked and WuFei suspected Quatre was being more than modest, he'd seen the other man's tactical skills, "During the war they had to run the corporation without me after my father passed and managed to do an amazing job."

Quatre leaned forward in his seat, peering through the screen at WuFei, trying to make himself believe the image before him it seemed.

"It's really good to see you," Quatre said, "How are you? Sally mentioned that you left the Preventers to become an accountant."

"I did. I…" WuFei hesitated, took a deep breath, "I'm not…" he closed his eyes, "I'm not doing well, actually. I haven't been and I…I kind of wondered if…you…and the others…I don't know how to contact Heero, Trowa…Duo…but, you're the only other people in this world that…that…and I just…wondered if maybe you might be…if you're doing well?"

When WuFei opened his eyes again, Quatre sat with tears in his own and something like relief washed over him.

"No. I'm not doing particularly well, either," Quatre admitted, "I'm glad that you called."

"Me too," WuFei smiled.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

Preventers Headquarters still smelled the same; of stale coffee and carbon copy paper. He nodded greeting to the woman at the front desk in passing, she noted his badge and gave him a curt salute. He found his office with ease, it was the same office he'd left behind so many years before. Une had mentioned 'dusting out his old desk' but he had assumed it was a joke. He stared at the nameplate: Officer WuFei Chang, and a smile tugged the corner of his lip.

The desk was indeed the same, though he doubted it had been empty in his absence. There was an empty filing cabinet, waste-bin, a phone and computer, but little else inside. It was waiting to be filled with his personal effects and he realized, with a touch of regret, that he didn't have any. It never mattered to him before, too sentimental, but now it seemed to highlight the things he lost by choosing to never have them to begin with. He hung his coat up on the rung by the door and took a seat at the desk, just to remind himself how it felt.

A tiny knock at the door drew his attention. Sally leaned against the frame, one hand behind her back and the other on her hip, as she smiled down at him.

"That uniform looks good on you," she said.

"Far more comfortable than the suits Hinkley&Deluth made me wear," WuFei replied.

"Can't fight in a suit," Sally noted, and WuFei nodded agreement, standing to be eye level to her, "Is it strange being back after all this time?"

"No," WuFei wrinkled his brow, looking at his office and out at headquarters bustling with officers hard at work, "In a way just the opposite. It feels a bit like coming home."

"Well, in that case, I guess this is appropriate," Sally produced a tiny bag with tissue paper sprouting out it's top, "Welcome home, Chang."

WuFei accepted the gift with a warm smile. He delicately removed the tissue paper into his waste bin and lifted out a familiar mug with a rooster and the silly pun about coming home to roost.

"I get it now," he mumbled to himself, a distant sorrow filling his heart with an odd mix of hope, as his thumb traced the image. He knew what needed to be done, he just wondered how long it would take and if he had the strength to see it through to the end. He didn't know what he would find.

"I know it's a bit gimmicky. Not your thing, but I figured the face you're making now was worth it and you could hide it in the back of your cupboard at home," Sally said, grinning at him.

"No, it's perfect. Thank you, Po," WuFei said, placing it on his desk, making sure the rooster was facing out for proper display.

"I'll leave you to get settled then," Sally turned to leave.

WuFei called after her, "If you're available later, let's get lunch."

She tossed him a surprised look over the shoulder that warmed into another smile, "Of course, I'll meet you up here."

WuFei sank into his chair and turned on the computer to begin work. He frowned somewhat, wrinkling his brow. He wasn't quite home yet.

…

Five months passed, and WuFei handily worked his way through case file after case file. He woke up each day with a purpose in his job, but his greater goal still felt so far out of reach. Weapons smugglers and drug runners were cake to find, but his other target seemed to be a ghost. Every lead turned up a dead end, he felt exasperated at the end of the day. That night felt no different as he rifled through his regular search results, barely stirring at the tap on his door.

"Why are you still here, Chang? You turned in your most recent report hours ago, and you have nothing on your case pile as far as I know, and I should know, I assign your cases."

WuFei glanced at Une standing in his doorway and offered his best impression of a smile.

"Working on my special assignment," he told her.

"Ah," she made a face, "Any new leads?"

"Nope," he grunted out.

When he rejoined the Preventers, he did so under one condition. He told Une he wanted to find someone, and should a lead crop up, he needed the leeway to follow it, no matter where he was and what he was working on.

' _You want to find Duo Maxwell? Good luck'_ she'd bit out a laugh, but agreed that not only could he drop everything to finish his search, he would have the entirety of the Preventers' resources at his disposal, because, as she put it, ' _If anyone can find him, it's you, and I'd like to know where that cheeky bastard ended up myself._ '

Over the months, they'd come to refer to it as WuFei's "special assignment". Although it was unofficial, it felt like an assignment. The hardest, and most important assignment of WuFei's career.

"Try not to stay here too late, Chang. He's been missing three years. One more night won't change anything," Une said.

WuFei frowned, his mind wandering to a Christmas party, a pained look in Duo's eyes, his own realization from a dream – was it really a dream? - that wouldn't fade: _I left with you_.

"One night can change everything," WuFei mumbled, running a hand across his face to wipe away the thoughts before leaning back in his chair and smiling at Une, "I'll see you in the morning. Give Mariemaia my best."

Une returned the smile, "I will. She wants you over for dinner this weekend, by the way. No excuses, you need some good home cooked food. Have a good night, Chang."

…

More days turned into weeks turned into no results. WuFei answered his vid-phone while multitasking report writing and reviewing surveillance tapes. Heero's dull expression filled the screen.

Building a relationship with the other pilots over those months had been odd at first, it took time and patience on everyone's end as they untangled what they could mean to one another. At first, Quatre handled arranging social gettogethers between the four, but once conversations began, a familiarity washed over them and a kind of relief. They spoke a language that no one else could understand, through shared experiences and training. It wasn't long before they began to find a reliability in one another.

"Relena wants to take a trip off planet," Heero said, foregoing greetings – he found them useless. The edges of his eyes crinkled in disdain, "A vacation."

"I recommend the L3 colony cluster. It's nice this time of year. Few crowds. We just wrapped up some political unrest in L1, so I'd steer clear of there for at least a month," WuFei replied absently, resting his chin in his hand and scrolling forward through the surveillance footage, "They were using Relena's pictures for dart boards."

"Noted. She was thinking Mars, actually."

"Family reunion?"

"I hope not."

WuFei snorted humorously, pausing the footage to flip back to his report.

"I sent something to your inbox that I think might help with your special assignment," Heero hesitated when WuFei straightened to give him full attention, "WuFei…I wanted to prepare you before you open it. It's not good."

"What is it?" his heart sank to the floor, "Morgue? Death certificate."

"No. Not exactly," Heero faltered, "It's a medical chart with diagnosis. He gave a false name, but the biometrics match. I'm ninety-seven-point-three percent sure it's his."

… _he only had months before the cancer took him._

"Thank you, Heero," WuFei said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice.

Sally found WuFei still sitting in his office the next morning, hunched over his desk with his face in his hand. She came to sit on the edge of his desk, brushed a hand across his shoulder. He startled, looking up at her with a ghost of a smile. He pushed the papers in front of him over to her, and stood to retrieve coffee, black, from the other room with his rooster mug. He returned to her puzzled expression.

"I hope whoever got these results sought immediate treatment," Sally said, "These tests were run eight months ago, without treatment, they'll be dead by now."

"Duo," WuFei took a seat at his desk again, sipping at his coffee, and not looking to her, "Those are Duo's test results."

"What?" Sally gaffed, "No! That can't be."

She flipped through the files again, skimming the information for clues to refute WuFei's claim. Finding nothing, she tossed the papers down.

"WuFei, I'm sorry. I…"

"I haven't found him yet," WuFei waved her away, "This isn't proof of anything."

"But Wufei, these results…even with treatment, the outlook…"

"I know," WuFei set his jaw, glaring at the far wall over his mug, "But I'm going to keep looking until I find him…regardless of what I find when I do."

…

The months continued to roll by into winter once more until WuFei reached the anniversary of his accident. Sally bought him a novelty cat clock that ticked off 'nine lives' to commemorate the occasion. He hung it in his office with his growing collection of odd memorabilia and photographs and potted plants. He sat in his chair, not much work to do but he'd volunteered to take over holiday shifts that season. He thought about joining Une in her office, they could wait for a call to come in together like old times. Maybe he'd suggest taking her and Mariemaia to the light display in downtown Bergonia later, but he shook the thought from his mind as soon as he had it.

It would be too tempting to sneak under the Christmas tree and stare up at the stars, to think of a hand wrapped in his, of bright blue eyes in a winter wonderland. He tapped his desk impatiently, staring at his regular searches on the computer screen that returned no results.

"Where are you, Duo?" he made a face as his computer dinged announcing an email arrival. He flipped to his inbox, somewhat hopeful for a case – any case would do – to kill the boredom. It was a message from some Officer Solo, WuFei couldn't recall who Solo could be but there were hundreds of officers working in his headquarters alone. The subject headline read "Special Assignment". WuFei barely finished skimming the message before springing from his seat and rushing out the door, grabbing his jacket off its hook on the way out.

He sprinted the entire way to the Preventers' transportation bay and slammed his badge down on the counter in front of the flight coordinator. She startled, looking at the badge first, and the breathless, crazed looking Prevention officer second.

"C…can I help you?"

"I need a shuttle to V-08744 in the L2 colony cluster. Now. Please," WuFei said between gasps for air.

The woman typed in a few things on her computer, her brow forming a worry line as she darted confused glances to WuFei, who was growing more impatient by the second.

"We don't have any flights scheduled or cleared for…"

"Get Une on the phone," WuFei snapped.

"But…"

"Do it!"

The woman made a strangled noise, spinning on heel to reach for her vid-phone and dial in the numbers Wufei barked at her back for Une's direct line. The colonel picked up with a disgruntled expression on her face.

"What is it?" she demanded of the petty officer before her, "And how the hell did you get this number."

"I…well…" the officer squeaked, stepping aside so that WuFei could be seen.

"Chang, what's going on?" Une demanded.

"I need a flight to the L2 colony cluster," he said, his tone grave, "It's regarding my special assignment."

"You have a lead," Une said, she narrowed her eyes on him, taking in his desperate appearance, eyes widening as realization set in, "Are you sure?"

"I can't be sure until I get there," WuFei told her.

Une turned her attention back to the flight coordinator, "Get this man whatever he needs."

"All I need is a flight to L2 five minutes ago," WuFei growled.

Une glared at the flight coordinator, "You heard the man."

"Yes, ma'am…uh…sir," the woman looked between the two menacing figures and got to work on her computer preparing the flight.

It took a half hour to get WuFei space bound. He tried to relax back in his shuttle chair, but excitement and anxiety prickled throughout his body. He watched out the window as the earth fell away.

Wait for me, Duo.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Each colony had its own distinct personality and each cluster its own culture and customs. WuFei often wondered how they could ever come together and enjoy a true peace. He avoided the political radio and newscasts as much as he could, listening to the pundits argue caused his old wartime spirit to flare. It wanted battle, but battle had no place in peace. Now was the time for talking, now was the time for politicians and diplomats.

WuFei didn't bother finding a hotel for the night when his shuttle landed. He hailed a taxi and went straight to the address from his email. An hour later he stood in the grimy slums of the V-08744 colony staring up at a rundown building, 'Hospice' painted over its door. Children in ragged clothes and bare feet ran along the dirt road around him, playing some game with a rubber ball that didn't appear to have any rules. An old man sat on a barrel in front of a store with a yellow door, three buildings down, watching WuFei curiously – they didn't get many people of Chinese heritage in the L2 cluster, and they certainly never got anyone as well dressed as WuFei in those slums.

Letting hesitation pass, WuFei pushed the hospice door open, a bell over it announcing his entry. He found himself in a small waiting room with mismatched chairs. A young woman in pink paisley scrubs, her blonde hair pulled back in a loose bun, stood behind the front desk. She smiled politely as WuFei approached.

"Hello, sir, can I help you?"

"I hope so," WuFei lightly placed his badge on the counter and her features dampened, he slid his personal tablet across the counter to her, it was open to the file that prompted his journey there, "I received a report that your facility recently admitted a patient matching the description of a man I've been looking for."

The woman's eyes fell to the tablet, skimming the file. Her mouth fell into a frown as she studied it.

"Our John Doe from two nights ago. They found him collapsed outside of Josie's bar, no identification," she confirmed, eyes shimmering and mouth struggling to work its way around her words, "But I'm not sure what the Preventers could want from that young man."

"Only to talk to him," WuFei assured her.

"I don't know what good it would do. He hasn't spoken to anyone since we brought him in," she faltered, wringing her hands behind the counter and darting her gaze nervously about the room, "He's very sick."

"I know," WuFei said, "Please, if you could give me a moment with him. I won't disturb him. I give you my word. It's only to talk."

The woman studied WuFei, obviously torn between her civil duties to respect an officer of Prevention and wanting to protect her patient. WuFei did his best to look sympathetic, relaxing his expression and attempting a smile before banishing it – he was told his smile could be frightening to some. After a few seconds consideration, she gave a slow nod and lead the way through a hallway into the back of the hospice.

"As I told you before, he hasn't spoken to anyone since we brought him in. We have a psychologist on staff, she's made a few attempts with him, but nothing. I want to warn you, he is strapped to the bed, but it isn't because he's attempted to harm anyone. He really has been a sweet patient. Sad, really, he seems so sweet. He wasn't eating, so we had to put him on IVs. He kept pulling them out, though, that and the medicine," she paused, giving WuFei that same studious look again, "I really don't want to disturb him."

"I won't," WuFei said, taking a deep breath and peering down the hall in anticipation, "If he becomes upset by my presence, I promise, I will leave."

Satisfied, the woman continued down the hall. They seemed to reach their destination just as the door opened and another nurse, a red head in pale yellow scrubs, was exiting.

"Oh, Janice, how is our John? Is he awake?" the first woman greeted. The new woman, Janice, looked at the two arrivals in surprise.

"He is. He's the same as yesterday…staring at the ceiling again," Janice gave WuFei a curious look, "Nina, who is this?"

"This is an officer from the Preventers, he's here to speak with our John Doe," the first woman, Nina, began to explain. Janice's eyes lit up, her hand lost the door and she positioned herself in front of WuFei.

"How dare you!" she thumped a finger on a startled WuFei's chest, "How dare you come here! What could the Preventers want with a dying man? I don't care what he's done. His days are numbered, he's sick and he's sad and he's got no one. Can't he at least have the dignity to die in peace."

"Ma'am, please, I don't…if you could just…" WuFei attempted to get a word in, but the woman wouldn't back down in her tirade even as her colleague tried to soothe her.

"He swears he just wants to talk…"

"Talk about what! This man doesn't want to talk. He just wants to be left alone. Can't you just leave him alone."

"It's you."

The three in the hallway were stunned silent by the voice beyond the vehement Janice. Her patient's door had fallen open, and their bickering had caught the attention of the dazed young man sitting on the bed he was strapped to inside. His eyes, glazed, were on WuFei. The image of that young man struck straight into Wufei's heart. He was painfully thin, his eyes somewhat sunken in, his skin sallow, pale, and slick with a layer of sweat despite the hospice being quite chill. But it was Duo, and WuFei could've wept from joy right there to see that familiar figure, those eyes, that heart-shaped face. He was alive. He had waited.

And now came the hard part.

WuFei steeled himself and carefully stepped around the women towards the door. Duo watched him with a distant interest.

"Am I dead?" Duo asked. The question froze WuFei on the spot, just outside of the room's doorframe.

"No," WuFei said, frowning, "Why would you ask that?"

"Have you noticed where I am? And hell, you could be the angel of death, here to collect. Fuck, you'd be a scary angel of death. Are you real?"

"Yes," WuFei's brow wrinkled in concern, "Maxwell…"

"Things don't always seem real these days. You're the last one I would've expected to come looking for me, you know. Quatre, sure, maybe Heero if he needed something. But you?" Duo laid back in his bed and laughed. It sounded painful and dry in his chest. "If this is real, the devil must be freezing his ass off in hell today. Can't wait to get down there and build myself an igloo."

"Duo," WuFei's words softened as his eyes swept over the young man.

"Why are you here? Did the war start up again? Did you need help on a case or something? Mister Big Fancy Preventer," Duo covered a haggard cough and WuFei winced, "As you can see, I'm not exactly in a position to be much use."

Was WuFei too late? Was there no more time left for this Duo? No. It didn't matter how much time there was left. WuFei would spend it with him. He wouldn't be alone. Neither of them would be alone for as much time as Duo had left. He wouldn't allow it.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" Duo demanded, anger brimming his eyes.

There was that desolate look from three years before. The sorrow, the pain. WuFei could see it so clearly now, why couldn't he see it then?

"Answer me, Chang! What the fuck do you want from me? Didn't I make it clear years ago how I feel about you?"

"I'm sorry, Duo," WuFei said, and Duo's next words caught in his throat, "I'm so sorry."

"I don't want your pity," Duo growled, his words falling into a mutter, "When you start pitying me…fuck, you of all people…I don't want your pity."

"Not for this," WuFei tried to meet Duo's eyes but he couldn't bear what he saw there, the guilt of it shook through him, this was his fault, "All those years ago…I should've...I was selfish and stupid. You were reaching out."

"I didn't ask for help," Duo said.

"No," WuFei rubbed at his face with the keel of his hand, "You were hiding. I could see it, but I chose to ignore it," he lifted his eyes to meet Duo's blue, watching him wide and confused, the daze all but gone now, "I'm sorry, Duo. I hope that you can forgive me. I'm here because…because I…" he took a steadying breath, "I'm here to bring you home."

Duo stared a moment, and then smirked something awful.

"I don't have a home. This is my home. Here. I'm right where I belong."

"No, Duo," WuFei said, _you belong with_ me, he closed his eyes, bit back his fear as the awful words Duo flung at him years ago reverberated in his ears, and the boyish grin from a distant dream lingered in his eyes, "You belong with the people who care about you. And they do. We've been looking for you, all of us. And there is a home for you. If you want it."

"Right. In that metaphoric sense, huh? Home is where the heart is. I'm dying, WuFei," Duo grit out.

"Lymphoma. Stage three, from the latest diagnosis report I could find. With treatment, you stand a chance, but the treatment would have to be aggressive. At times, it will feel worse than the disease. I have a spare room. I live close to Harrisburg Medical. I can pull strings to get you in. The others are prepared to assist as needed, Po has an oncologist secured, one of the best in the galaxy," WuFei said without missing a beat.

Duo gaped again, breath bated, eyes searching the other man for some hint of a joke, a lie. He blinked.

"Why?"

"Because you're stronger than this. Because you fought hard for this peace, you damn well should be allowed to enjoy it. Because you're one of us and laying down to die, giving up the fight that easy, just doesn't suit you. Because you deserve better than to die alone as a John Doe in a rundown hospice," WuFei fixed Duo with a determined glare, "Pick one."

"And what if I don't deserve better?" Duo challenged.

"You do."

"How do you know? After all the shit I did during the war! Before the war! What makes you so sure I deserve better?"

"Because I deserve better," WuFei snapped, _I deserve you._ Duo fell back in silence for several tens of seconds and WuFei wondered if he'd lost the other boy. He shifted, impatient, from one foot to the other.

"You'd have a hard time explaining to your comrades if you were defeated now," Duo mumbled.

WuFei's brow furrowed in concern. Was Duo delirious again?

"You said that once, do you remember?"

"Did I?"

"Before we returned to space," Duo laid back, studying the ceiling again as though the answers to the universe were written there, "Quatre and I were down for the count, and suddenly you show up, hacking and slashing your way through the foray, making it look easy and being your all around bad ass self, yelling at us to pick our asses up off the floor and get to being useful. Wasn't the first time you did that, wasn't the last. Even if I say no, you won't leave it, will you?"

"I'm prepared to stay here as long as it takes. Even if it means staying until…" WuFei's voice caught, "Even if it mean making sure you won't die alone."

"Do you remember Moonbase?"

"I would never forget Moonbase."

" _You_ won't? Hah! I have nightmares about that place and they all end the same, you smacking me awake. I freaked the fuck out, you were calm as a naked turkey on a Tuesday in December. You're a tough son of a bitch, Chang. I thought Heero was something else and then I met you," Duo smirked as though recalling an old joke, "You know, I prayed yesterday. Funny, I hadn't prayed since I was a kid and even then I didn't really. I usually don't have much to say to the big guy upstairs besides the odd curse word or two. But something about this place…I don't know…being so close to where…" he shook his head, a stray tear tumbling down his cheek, "You know what I prayed for?"

WuFei remained silent, waiting patiently for the other to continue.

"I was ready to go. I was ready to accept it. I would go out my way, too, tonight. Slip these cuffs, use the razor I palmed when they brought me in. But I figured I'd give Him a chance to convince me. So I prayed for a reason to keep fighting. Just one goddamned reason in this whole shithole of a life," Duo closed his eyes, "And then you show up on my doorstep. You, of all people, it doesn't make sense for you to come looking for me yet somehow, you're the only one that does make sense. Mister WuFei 'fights not over until I say it is' Chang."

"Fight's not over, Maxwell," WuFei said, his chest fluttering when Duo turned to look at him once more.

"I'm getting that message, Chang. When do we leave?"

"I'll make the arrangements now," WuFei said, grinning. He turned to start making calls and found the two women behind him, hugging and bawling their eyes out. He scowled, "Why are you two standing there blubbering? Don't you have work to do?"

"Thank you," Duo mouthed to the ceiling, he darted a look at Wufei shooing the women away and stalking off to make his arrangements, "…I think."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

It hadn't started snowing in Bergonia yet but the wind was still biting with chill. WuFei stood on the sidewalk staring up at that house, bundled in the many layers Duo had fussed about draping him in. _The last time you caught a cold, I had the headache the whole time…let's not repeat, shall we?_

The real estate agent was leading Duo up towards the doorstep, exuberantly describing the house and all it's wonderful flaws. The kitchen was half-destroyed or as she put it, 'remodel ready', the walls weren't insulated or, 'primed for modern updating', and the backyard wasn't landscaped or, 'perfect for a pool, a deck, anything, the possibilities were endless'. They hadn't realized WuFei was left behind gaping up at the property. He could just see the tacky Christmas decorations, the snowmen couple, the names on the mailbox in swooping calligraphy.

"Babe?" Duo called from the doorstep. The real estate agent had the door open and both were looking back at WuFei in concern.

WuFei's eyes fell from studying the house to find Duo's staring back at him, the worry lines evident in his features. A smile graced WuFei's lips, as he looked at the memory of his beautiful life. It had been two years now since he'd dragged Duo out of that hospice on L2 and brought him back to the apartment in Bergonia. Those first few months were the hardest, Duo would change his mind about receiving treatment every other day. He went through his ups and downs, his mental state didn't help things. The hospital recommended a therapist, to cope with the trauma of the disease, and from there they began unraveling his PTSD symptoms from the war.

The other pilots rotated in helping out. They took shifts in those first months, Duo was never allowed to be alone. Heero and Trowa ended up spending the most time with Duo, their lifestyles allowed them that flexibility, especially for longer stays when WuFei's work as a Preventer called him away from home. When WuFei was home, he felt as though all he and Duo could do was fight. Duo ground his feet in more when it came to WuFei, becoming more adverse to being taken care of or receiving his treatments.

 _I'm a burden_ , he would claim, _you don't need me. Just let me die._

 _Shut up and eat your dinner._

 _It's gross, I don't want it. How long do they recommend nuking this frozen meal for? Until it's completely flavorless?_

Duo would hide in the bathroom for hours, puking and crying and yelling through the door that he was fine, to just leave him alone, whenever WuFei attempted to knock or bring him anything. So WuFei would camp outside of the door, sitting in the hall and often times reading a book. Eventually, WuFei began reading the books aloud, as Duo sat sick inside the locked bathroom by the toilet. Surprisingly Duo didn't complain until one day, Duo opened the door and asked for water, and after WuFei brought it he let WuFei sit inside the room with him.

 _You don't mind the puke smell?_

 _I mind you being alone more._

After five months, Duo was feeling stronger and helping with things around the house. He insisted on taking over cooking.

 _I can't do this frozen meal crap anymore. And the canned foods have to stop. We're not in a war anymore, we don't need to be eating baked beans every night_.

Time wore on, and the two wore on each other. They would sit up late in the night after WuFei came back from work and talk about nonsense, read a book together, and eventually they began talking about themselves. They started with the war, those bits and pieces when they weren't in contact with one another, and tentatively moved on to the parts before the war. On a particularly bad night that saw Duo clutching the toilet, crying and shaking violently, WuFei took Duo's hand and brushed back the hairs that had loosened from that thick braid. Even after the vomiting finished, and Duo sat back against the wall, tears streaming steady down his face, he held onto WuFei's hand stubbornly.

 _Stay_ , he had pleaded, _Please stay. You won't go?_

 _I won't_ , WuFei had promised, sitting on the floor beside Duo, their shoulders brushed together and his own body trembling from watching the other man's pain, _I won't ever let you be alone again._

Their first kiss had been in month nine of Duo living with him. They'd gone out to celebrate, Duo was responding well to his treatments. His white blood cell counts were up and the doctors were hopeful. WuFei drank some and Duo remained sober, alcohol didn't mix with his medicine. He'd brought a tipsy WuFei home. WuFei leaned on Duo's shoulder as they climbed the stairs up to their shared apartment.

 _You're amazing_ , Wufei had declared, buzzed and high on life.

 _I'm amazing? This guy. You're the one literally saved my life._

 _It was selfish, to be honest, I have to save you because I know…_ WuFei stumbled a bit, and Duo caught him with an arm at his waist, and he steadied himself by placing a hand on Duo's chest, looking up into Duo's perfect blue eyes, Duo's cheeks flushed from uncertainty, WuFei's flushed from his drink, _I know you're the only one that can save me._

 _Oh, well, when you put it like that_ , Duo had joked, but his tone had been soft, mindful of the mood, and his fingers came up to lightly ghost the side of WuFei's face. They had both leaned into one another, they're lips just touching for a moment before they both sank further into it.

"You coming, babe?" Duo called again. WuFei nodded, walking up the step. He caught Duo's hand at the doorstep, tugged him back to brush a kiss to his lips.

It was another four months before they got the news that his cancer was in remission. They kept it a secret, celebrated in private together first, spending three days at home in bed tangled up around one another. Duo had pressed a kiss to his lips and declared, _I could spend the rest of my life like this_.

 _You could_ , WuFei had teased in return, looking for parts of Duo he'd yet to touch, caress, kiss, _I would support it one hundred percent._

"There are four rooms down the hall this way," the real estate agent was saying.

Duo half followed her, darting unsure looks back to his lover. WuFei stood in the entry way, his eyes sweeping over the living room area. There was debris piled in the far corner, and the fireplace was chipping in areas but in his mind's eye, WuFei overlay an image of a Christmas tree, stockings lovingly made for a partner, a worn sofa, and a wall covered in photographs and paintings.

They had gathered everyone together at Relena's home for the announcement. Duo had baked a cake for the event, and as Quatre plated it into servings, Duo sheepishly stood at the front of the table and said _turns out I'll be sticking around for a while after all. God of Death ain't taking me yet._

The cheer that had gone around the room was enough to fill the boys for a lifetime. Duo had taken WuFei's hand in his own then, twining their fingers. Until that moment they hadn't spoken of their relationship to their friends. It was only a few months old and they weren't certain of what their future would, or even could be. Duo refused to even speak of a future, not wanting to make promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

 _I never run out of things to be grateful for these days. I got a life left to live, and someone to live it with. At least, I think I do?_ He'd searched WuFei's eyes and WuFei had given his hand a squeeze.

 _You do,_ WuFei had confirmed.

 _Good, because I love you._

 _I love you too, Duo._

Duo's arms slipped around WuFei's waist from behind. He nestled his chin atop WuFei's shoulder. WuFei's hands instinctively folded over Duo's. The real estate agent waited by the hallway inspecting the chipping paint.

"If you don't want to look at this place, let's not waste our time. We got plenty of other places to check out before the day's over," Duo said.

"This is the one," Wufei replied, his eyes still mesmerized by the fading daydream, "This is the house that I want."

"This one? Really? I know we talked about a fixer-upper, but…this place is going to take a lot of work," Duo said.

"I know. That's why it's perfect. Because we take a lot of work. It fits us," WuFei leaned back further into Duo's embrace, "Think about it for me. We can redo the kitchen the way that you want, with the double stacked oven and rework the layout, maybe knock out a wall to expand it. We can turn one of the extra bedrooms into a library, the other can be a studio for you. The backyard will fit a training area on the side of the house, where I can practice my katas and you can practice being a lecher."

"I do love watching you practice your katas. Sexy as all hell," Duo murmured against WuFei's skin. "Okay, okay, I'm seeing it. There's even room for your garden back there…possibly a greenhouse. We can repaint everything. The three-car garage is definitely big enough to fit my truck, your bike, and a workshop. We're close to the orphanage, close to downtown, close to a hospital, close to headquarters. Quatre has a house less than an hour away, Darlian estate is less than two hours away, and Trowa's circus stops annually in Maricopa which is less than an hour away."

WuFei peered up at Duo, "This is the one that I want."

"Okay," Duo said, "This is the one you want, this is the one we get. Besides, you've got that 'and I will fight you for it' look on your face and I know better than to fight you for anything." He looked to the real estate agent, "Hey lady, we'll take it! Where do we sign?"

"Baby," WuFei said, drawing Duo into a kiss, "We're home."


End file.
